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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boys with long hair?

361 replies

len1234 · 19/07/2020 20:10

I just want to know why people are so against toddler boys or just boys in general having long hair?? I always thought it was cute but I've heard so many rude comments about it lately. It seems to really bother people?

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MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 19/07/2020 20:15

Really don't know. My toddler has shoulder length curls and so many people have made snotty comments. Most negative comments seem to come from insecure blokey types who are concerned he may "turn gay" or "look like a girl" or people who claim its messy and yet the same hair isn't messy on a girl..? 🙄
Water off a ducks back. It's beautiful hair and a colour that plenty of people pay a fortune to fake.

SimonJT · 19/07/2020 20:16

Are they? That is something I have genuinely never heard and my son has long hair.

MinesAPintOfTea · 19/07/2020 20:17

DH is giving DS a hard time about enjoying his hair growing longer. I've told him to stop it and that DS can have his hair how he likes so long as it's clean and combed.

DelurkingAJ · 19/07/2020 20:19

Couldn’t care less so long as it’s clean and combed. If I’d had DDs I would have kept it short as I’d like the DC to be able to look after their own hair. Horses for courses so long as it’s cared for.

LaChatte · 19/07/2020 20:19

DS had negative comments about it all his childhood and kept being told he looked like a girl (why exactly that would be a bad thing is beyond me), he rode it out and now has waist length blonde hair (he's 18). He looks like something out of Lord of the Rings. It's lovely.

Somethingorotherorother · 19/07/2020 20:19

All the boys in our family have shoulder length hair and I've never heard anyone say anything about it.

len1234 · 19/07/2020 20:20

@MissBaskinIfYoureNasty Yes! The "He looks like a girl!" When he dresses in stereotypical boy clothes at the moment anyway. I really don't understand it.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 19/07/2020 20:20

My ds (13) currently has shoulder length wavy hair with fringe down to his chin. Its my hairdresser that trims it rather than a barber - they just want to chop it all off

Bunnymumy · 19/07/2020 20:22

I have a friend euth 4 young sons and they all have long hair (between chin and shoulders). They are adorable.

I suppose it depends if they suit it or not though.

I've always liked longer hair on blokes too though so maybe I'm bias. I grew up in the time of the skater boy lol.

Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 19/07/2020 20:22

I hear you OP. My 2.5 year old is currently sporting long blonde curls due to lockdown! DH is counting the days until it's cut Sad

DominaShantotto · 19/07/2020 20:22

When it's trailing all over their face so they can't see what they're doing at school - I'll think tsky thoughts for either boys or girls. Other than that - I couldn't care.

I get annoyed when school uniform rules say girls need to tie long hair back but no one enforces the same for boys.

Bunnymumy · 19/07/2020 20:22

*with

Th1me · 19/07/2020 20:23

My 15 year old hasn’t had his cut for months - apparently we are aiming for a man bun! In fairness he had lovely long hair that he only got cut when he was 8. I’m looking forward to the return of his lovely long hair.

WendyHoused · 19/07/2020 20:24

They can boil their heads.

Itsarattrap · 19/07/2020 20:25

Are they? Ours had long hair until he decided he wanted a change at about 8 years old. Can honestly say no-one ever commented, negatively or otherwise.
That was a decade ago, things may have changed of course. What a strange thing for people to get worked up about, what someone else’s hair is like.

len1234 · 19/07/2020 20:26

@DominaShantotto I do agree with them having it tied back at school if that is the rule for girls. Especially to prevent head lice.

OP posts:
NotExactlyMrsCurrentAffairs · 19/07/2020 20:31

My 8yo DS has gorgeous long hair and has honestly, never had a negative comment about his hair, lots of positive comments though

Boys with long hair?
SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 19/07/2020 20:33

It's quite class dependent, I've found. Never saw so many boys with tumbling curls as when I worked in a private boarding prep school. They all looked gorgeous too.

DramaAlpaca · 19/07/2020 20:37

I always kept my boys' hair very short as children because that's how I liked it. As teens they grew it a bit, but just long enough to be fashionable.

Now in their 20s the older ones keep theirs short and neat, but the youngest has long hair. He gets a trim once a year but otherwise leaves it be & it's fabulous, thick & wavy. It really suits him.

SedentaryCat · 19/07/2020 20:52

DS has hair that's about the same length as your DS @NotExactlyMrsCurrentAffairs, and it's much thicker and glossier than mine ever has been!

I think he probably needs a little bit of a trim in it - he's off to secondary school in September and it won't hurt to tidy it up a bit. But whenever I mention it I think he hears the words 'short back and sides'. Smile

MinesAPintOfTea · 19/07/2020 20:54

dramalama you weren't faced with a very thickly/wriggly primary aged child in a pandemic though. Normally to get DS's hair cut I have to hold him still throughout it (with his agreement). That means both of us being close to a third person doing the cutting. He's also not been to school for 4 months, and won't for at least 1.5 more.

If he'd rather have long hair in these conditions, that makes my life less stressful. He also looks cute.

JanewaysBun · 19/07/2020 20:56

If DS Had gorgeous curls I would never cut it!

FishOnPillows · 19/07/2020 21:04

10yo DS has waist-length hair. It’s absolutely gorgeous and I’m hugely jealous!
He’s had long hair all his life and I don’t think we’ve ever had any negative comments about it. A surprising number of people mistake him for a girl though - he just laughs, tells them he’s a boy, then they usually get a bit embarrassed and apologise.
He ties it back for school so it doesn’t get in the way. Plus minimises risk of lice! He even sometimes gets me to braids it, like Legolas 😅
His father has long hair though, so he’s grown up knowing other men with long hair.

Marcipex · 19/07/2020 21:05

I once referred to a 10 year old with very long hair and a pink flowered jacket (and purple trousers) as ‘she’.
HIS mother absolutely bit my head off. I couldn’t get a word in while she ranted at me. The child just looked blank.
I don’t know how I was supposed to know.

I guess if it’s obvious, it’s easier for us mugs.

Tittie · 19/07/2020 21:08

My DS had absolutely beautiful blonde ringlets which both he and I loved. I used to trim it slightly myself after googling how to cut hair in a way that maintains the curl. I did like to leave it on the longer side though. After much persuasion from DH, I agreed to let SIL 'trim' it as she's a hairdresser. He doesn't have ringlets now. Sad
I do wonder if she did it deliberately, I could write a novel about my SIL. I pretended not to be bothered because I thought she'd love it if I was.

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