Boys with long hair?

[len1234]

I just want to know why people are so against toddler boys or just boys in general having long hair?? I always thought it was cute but I've heard so many rude comments about it lately. It seems to really bother people?

[BringPizza]

Lots of small boys with shoulder length hair round here, but the mothers fancy themselves as bohemian free-spirits, which is a laugh considering the only way to afford living here is to be a corporate wage slave

[Triffid1]

@SoUmmYeah

Our school carefully doesn't reference boys or girls in their policy, which I like. But I notice that the girls all adhere to it and the boys don't.

I mean there is no mention of hair. So nothing to adhere to or not.

Aaah, I see. Fair enough then. But ours tells students with long hair it must be out of their eyes for learning and tied back so that it doesn't catch on things or get in the way, particularly during PE. So the girls all have plaits and pony tails and hair clips etc, and the boys with long hair just have it swinging free. Drives me CRAZY!!!

[homeedder1979]

Two of my 3 DC are male (age 6 & 9) and both have long-ish hair.

They have it because they like it not because I want them too. They hate going to the hairdressers but occasionally I do force them to have a trim.

I’m totally biased obviously but they both look gorgeous and it suits their personalities. They aren’t ‘football’ boys, they are gentle types. I think it gives boys a softer look somehow. They only ever get comments from much older relatives along the lines of “oh I see you’ve not had a haircut yet”. So f*ckin rude! Imagine if I said the same to a girl.

It’s interesting to me that some posters think it’s a middle class thing, I guess I can see what they’re saying but it’s too sweeping a statement.

We home educate and a lot of the boys at our classes etc have longer hair. They are real individuals and interesting kids. So I’m agreeing that there is something in the ‘alternative, hippy family’ theory
These aren’t wannabes though, they truly are a bit hippy/alternate as I guess we are in some ways.

Wouldn’t life be boring if we were all the same!

[ReggieKrait]

In my area though it DOES seem to be a class thing - traditional white working class area with strong conformation to gender stereotypes. I am not from here originally.

It’s just not seen here, at all. The only time I come across young boys with long hair is on days out, and nine times out of ten the families do appear middle class.

People here tend to be very chatty and opinionated, and I can just imagine some nosy old person passing comment about it in the street.......!

[HikeForward]

I would always rather a child who is assertive than one who complies!

Lots of ways to teach a child to be assertive without giving them multiple choices over their hair and clothes.

I find it sad that a young child would even care about their hair. As long as it’s clean, healthy, nit-free and doesn’t hamper their play, why focus on it?

Same with clothes. I let mine choose which joggers/leggings she wants, and in winter her drawer has a range of long sleeved tops in different colours. She knows she must choose a jumper and coat if she wants to play outside in the cold. If it’s very cold and we’re going for a hike I tell her to put thermal base layers on. We don’t have time to waste going back and forth. Same with school, summer clothes aren’t an option (or even visible). I can’t turn round half way to school because she’s cold and wearing clothes inappropriate for the weather.

She’s a very assertive, confident 6 year old. With plenty of other, more exciting choices to make!

[Updatemate]

I find it sad that a young child would even care about their hair. As long as it’s clean, healthy, nit-free and doesn’t hamper their play, why focus on it?

We don't focus on it, at all. Which is why it is long. Short hair requires regular cutting. DH goes to the barbers and DC are asked if they want to go as well. That's as much focus as it gets unless they ask for it styled, which they don't. It's brushed daily, but that is regardless of length and washed weekly, again, regardless of length.

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

Lots of ways to teach a child to be assertive without giving them multiple choices over their hair and clothes.

Who said there wasn’t? But is there anything intrinsically wrong about letting a child choose their haircut? Why are you trying to suggest this is something to avoid?

[theThreeofWeevils]

no-one can resist a kid with curls
How much do you want to bet?

I dislike long hair on small boys, and wonder whether their parents think they are making some kind of statement. Not keen on it on small girls either, unless it is kept firmly plaited.
And even the firmest of plaits is no defence against nits.

[LunchBoxPolice]

A boy in my son’s class has long blonde curly hair down to his waist. His mum uses the curly girl method on his hair and her own, she likes to mention at every possible opportunity that he has “beautiful curly hair just like her”. Except he doesn’t, it’s greasy and matted and constantly in his face. If it was clean and looked after properly it would look ok, but as it is the kid always looks a mess. That’s a common look with the cg method though.

[HikeForward]

But is there anything intrinsically wrong about letting a child choose their haircut? Why are you trying to suggest this is something to avoid?

It’s personal choice of course, we all parent differently and have different views.

Personally I don’t think a young child needs (or benefits) from autonomy over their haircut/hairstyle, any more than they need control over how often they bath, brush their teeth, whether they eat breakfast before school etc.

I keep my DD’s hair in a short, tidy bob as she hates clips/bobbles. Too much brushing or fuss like plaiting and deep conditioning upsets her. Long hair gets in her face and eyes or in paint/mud or catches on things. I got her used to haircuts and hairdressers from a young age so she doesn’t fear them when she’s older. She’s 6 now and enjoys having hair cuts!

I think short hair on children is generally easier and quicker to wash, dry, keep tangle-free and nit-free. Quicker to get ready for school. Regular trims is good for hair health as it removes split ends. It’s easier to keep it neat and tidy, until they’re at an age where hair suddenly becomes important (?9/10) and they want hairstyles like their peers or the latest fashions. Once she reaches that age I’ll let her choose the style and length she wants, provided it’s manageable and neat for school.

If I had a boy I think I’d just keep it short from toddler-hood, for the reasons above, and also because being mistaken for a girl constantly could be confusing?
If we lived in a culture where long hair on boys was the norm I’d be less inclined to make regular barber visits, but here short hair on boys seems very much the social norm. I’d worry a little boy would be teased or bullied for having long hair.

[MissMarpleDarling]

My teen has long hair now. I did order clippers and cut his hair in the first lockdown as he allways had it short, but I did a crap job so didn't try again. He loves it long