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AIBU?

Boys with long hair?

361 replies

len1234 · 19/07/2020 20:10

I just want to know why people are so against toddler boys or just boys in general having long hair?? I always thought it was cute but I've heard so many rude comments about it lately. It seems to really bother people?

OP posts:
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Oliversmumsarmy · 20/07/2020 13:14

I think you have a point about not having anything to prove.

And definitely the 2nd hand uniform thing.

At dds private school, pupils would go to the 2nd hand uniform shop in their lunch hour and didn’t think twice about getting a new school skirt or blazer or tie even shoes etc for a few pounds.
Some of these people were the mega rich.
Yet ds’s Comprehensive didn’t even have a 2nd hand uniform one off sale because the HT thought it didn’t give a good impression if children were in 2nd hand and it would affect their self esteem and confidence.

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SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2020 14:40

DS and DH have long hair. Def working class. Am I trying to make a statement above my station is life?

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HoppingPavlova · 20/07/2020 14:49

One of mine has long hair. The full beard stops him being mistaken for a girl. Admittedly he did gave the long hair before the beard, still was never mistaken for a girl and didn’t receive any disparaging comments I’m aware of.

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NotMyTimes · 20/07/2020 15:15

@covidco

I'm talking hypothetically because I don't actually have kids yet.

I would take the approach my mum did.

As long as I'm taking care of your hair, brushing, washing, styling it ect then I get a say in how it's done because I'm the one dealing with it. Now if you're ready and willing to take on all the responsibility for your hair you can not have it cut but that means you have to do X,Y,Z to Maintain it. And I will he making sure you've done these things and done them properly before you're allowed to watch tv/play console/whatever they like doing it, even if it involves sending you back into the shower 5 times. Now are you ready to take that responsibility? in which case grow your hair as long as you like. If not we can come to a compromise on a length you still like even if it's not as long as you'd love, but that is still manageable for me.

That way the child still gets a choice but also understands that choices come with responsibilities and knowing these responsibilities affects their choice.

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SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2020 15:16

Frankly I think it's inappropriate for all these women to be here bragging about how hot their sons are when I'm a married woman 😂😂😂😂😂

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BillyAndTheSillies · 20/07/2020 15:16

DS(4) had his shoulder blade length hair cut today. Someone on social media commented "now he looks like a real little boy"....erm as opposed to what?! His hair was beautiful, cherubic curls, but he hated having it washed and won't tie it up. He starts school in September and anything longer than chin length needs to be tied up so he knew it had to be cut.

As he gets older, he's the last boy in his friendship group to have really long hair and it upsets me a little that now he just blends in to the crowd but he's said how much cooler he feels and that it's not annoying him anymore - and that's the main thing. But he loved it longer. If you ever asked him to describe himself, his first description would be "I have long curly hair".

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BillyAndTheSillies · 20/07/2020 15:19

I just wish my hair was this healthy and shiny!

Boys with long hair?
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laudete · 20/07/2020 15:24

@BillyAndTheSillies

DS(4) had his shoulder blade length hair cut today. Someone on social media commented "now he looks like a real little boy"....erm as opposed to what?! His hair was beautiful, cherubic curls, but he hated having it washed and won't tie it up. He starts school in September and anything longer than chin length needs to be tied up so he knew it had to be cut.

As he gets older, he's the last boy in his friendship group to have really long hair and it upsets me a little that now he just blends in to the crowd but he's said how much cooler he feels and that it's not annoying him anymore - and that's the main thing. But he loved it longer. If you ever asked him to describe himself, his first description would be "I have long curly hair".


I suspect they meant he suddenly looks much older. A big change in hairstyle affects the appearance, especially when kids are little. He's just had all his "baby" hairs trimmed off. Even if he grows it long again, it won't look the same as when he was a toddler. (It will be thicker, stronger, etc.) But, that's okay - he is older now, he's still your baby, and it's just hair. x
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TreacherousPissFlap · 20/07/2020 15:25

I have no issues with it on other boys, but heartily dislike DS's long hair - it is currently purple and he is insanely proud of it.

Having endured a childhood where I was forced to have long hair, I keep these opinions to myself. My only stipulation is that it is clean, brushed and that he goes every 4-6 months to the barbers for a tidy up which he happily does. And I of course never fantasise about cutting it while he's asleep

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BogRollBOGOF · 20/07/2020 15:33

DS1 has shoulder length hair. Generally just about the length so he doesn't have to tie it back which he takes issue with due to sensory issues.

Longer works well for him as his hair is thick with multiple crowns and a cows lick. It has a very strong split so doesn't take a fringe, and he had a very large and knobbly head in infancy so too short would not have suited him at all. It probably is better now, but it still isn't a great shape for very short hair. Long hair weighs it down in one direction and hides his head shape.

It's a short-hair school/ area, and the good thing is that I can pick out DS1 & DS2 from across a park because of the movement of their hair Grin (DS2 is a bit shorter, long enough for curl and being a bit shaggy. He has finer hair (compared to DS1) and it suits him well)

He does get mistaken for a girl, but he always did even as a bald baby. I think it's his thick, long eyelashes, and has a slight, lean build. He refuses to wear trousers due to sensory issues so always has the knobbly knee look. He loves soft fluffy clothes and does get "girls" jumpers, usually mainly neutral with a pink zip. He's happy with his look and perfectly old enough to argue about it!

My only gripe with long hair is when it's overly long and stringy because it's too long for the lack of thickness. Very young girls tend to be prone to this. A bit more patience and trimming the ends makes a big difference.

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UnfinishedSymphon · 20/07/2020 15:37

I much prefer long than awful buzz cuts with lines shaved in, or gelled down side partings which look far too grown up

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Grendalsmum · 20/07/2020 16:07

Too right l'm making a statement!
" Do what you like with your hair as it is, after all, yours ... "

SleepingStandingUp Couldn't say, being his Mum and biased, but he is blond, 6'1", kickboxes, and occasionally has small children asking him if he's Thor.
No-one has mistaken him for a girl for ages ...

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FriedasCarLoad · 20/07/2020 16:12

I much prefer long hair on little girls and short hair on little boys. Not least, it makes it more obvious which is which!

However, IRL I'd never criticize a child's hairstyle, whether to the child or the parent. Seems unnecessarily rude.

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rooarsome · 20/07/2020 16:44

As long as the kid is clean and well cared for why does it matter? There is a little boy in DD's class whose hair is long and matted but his mum thinks it's cute. Conversely my friends son has lovely curls. Have it long by all means, but just ensure the child is happy for it to be appropriately cared for.

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kateybeth79 · 20/07/2020 16:50

I don't like long hair on boys but it's nothing to do with it making them look like girls, it's just my preference. I also prefer dark hair to blond, again, nothing wrong with blond, I just prefer brunette. I would never, ever make a negative comment though!

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JustAddCoffee91 · 20/07/2020 17:18

This is my 19 month olds hair I like it longer but it does take a lot of maintenance, if I leave it he looks like a mad scientist... but I'll be keeping his hair long the day he gets it cut I'll cry lol

Boys with long hair?
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JustAddCoffee91 · 20/07/2020 17:18

This is my 19 month olds hair I like it longer but it does take a lot of maintenance, if I leave it he looks like a mad scientist... but I'll be keeping his hair long the day he gets it cut I'll cry lol

Boys with long hair?
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JustAddCoffee91 · 20/07/2020 17:18

Oops... wouldn't send at first 😂

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TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 20/07/2020 17:19

@SleepingStandingUp

Frankly I think it's inappropriate for all these women to be here bragging about how hot their sons are when I'm a married woman 😂😂😂😂😂

Grin

I'm not married. In fact very very single. So if any of these gorgeous sons are 28 or over and single please send them my way Grin
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SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2020 17:31

@Grendalsmum

Too right l'm making a statement!
" Do what you like with your hair as it is, after all, yours ... "

SleepingStandingUp Couldn't say, being his Mum and biased, but he is blond, 6'1", kickboxes, and occasionally has small children asking him if he's Thor.
No-one has mistaken him for a girl for ages ...

so i might be up for trading in DH... altho i feel like @TheFormerPorpentinaScamander gets first dibs. tbh he sounds like the kind of guy even at my age i'd just giggle at.
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SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2020 17:32

@BillyAndTheSillies

DS(4) had his shoulder blade length hair cut today. Someone on social media commented "now he looks like a real little boy"....erm as opposed to what?! His hair was beautiful, cherubic curls, but he hated having it washed and won't tie it up. He starts school in September and anything longer than chin length needs to be tied up so he knew it had to be cut.

As he gets older, he's the last boy in his friendship group to have really long hair and it upsets me a little that now he just blends in to the crowd but he's said how much cooler he feels and that it's not annoying him anymore - and that's the main thing. But he loved it longer. If you ever asked him to describe himself, his first description would be "I have long curly hair".


idiots
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ElGuardiandenoche · 20/07/2020 19:01

DS3 before and after the chop and DS1’s lovely hair. He grew a beard during lockdown and it really suited him but he’s shaved it off again as he didn’t like it.

The poster that said that they wouldn’t allow long hair until there was no threat of headlice is in for a long wait. Up until lockdown my three were still getting them on a regular basis (and by default, me 😱) and they are 18, 15 and 13. It’s been brilliant not having to the Friday night nit check.

Boys with long hair?
Boys with long hair?
Boys with long hair?
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SleepingStandingUp · 20/07/2020 19:08

I do wonder if the people who argue for short hair to avoid nits or kept their boys hair long until nits do the same for their daughters.

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Cloudfrost · 20/07/2020 19:15

I don't understand why people get offended when people mistake their boys with long hair for girls. Even if they are dressed in "boys clothes", that means literally nothing these days because girls dressed in unisex/boys clothes is very popular. It gets even more confusing if a boy with long hair is dressed in stereotypically girls clothes/colors/female characters. Add a gender neutral name and anyone will be confused... If your long haired boy is referred to as a girl, just assume the person took a 50/50 chance trying to guess the gender and just don't be offended about it

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derxa · 20/07/2020 19:29

I went to school in the 60's and 70's. We all had massive heads of hair boys and girls. Feather cuts, mullets, straight and stringy, perms....

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