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Original poster

Do you know the contents of your parents’ wills?

225 replies

Fernandini056 · 13/07/2020 22:11

Is this a normal thing for families to discuss? Or do most people find out who’s been left what after the person has died?

Asking because my PIL want to discuss this with me and DH next week but I never experienced this with my own parents before they died. Just wondering if this is normal?

OP posts:
Sunnydayshereatlast · 13/07/2020 22:13

Nc with both but dm is skint and df will likely leave his Pools winnings to a dcat's home.

joyjester · 13/07/2020 22:13

Yes. .I know what's in my mum's will.

megletthesecond · 13/07/2020 22:14

I know what's in my mum's. She's ran it past us.
Had to get a copy of dad's months after he died. There's a back story.

21NewNames · 13/07/2020 22:14

Yes I do. And DC and DSC know the content of my and DH’s wills. Better to clear it up before it is needed, wouldn’t want anyone to have a surprise.

DingDongDenny · 13/07/2020 22:15

Yes, my mum discussed it with both me and my sister, she wanted to make sure we both thought it was fair.

I thought it was very thoughtful of her, although I'm pretty sure everything will go on care fees

Hedgehog44 · 13/07/2020 22:16

My mum hasn't made one and no idea what's in my dads! Don't think he has anything to leave though and I wouldn't really want it.

nokidshere · 13/07/2020 22:16

Not my mums no, but I did with MILs. She discussed it frequently especially when she added stuff to it.

Our boys know the contents of ours. Which, tbf, simply says they get 50/50.

Kenworthington · 13/07/2020 22:16

Yes I do but I’m also an only child so it’s pretty much a forgone conclusion anyway unless I monumentally piss them off and it all goes to a cat charity or something

DelurkingAJ · 13/07/2020 22:16

Not in detail but I know that it’s a straight split between DSis and me (there are just the two of us). I know this because DM got her Dad to split ‘her’ share between DSis and me (more use to us at that stage of life) and we’ve discussed doing that same once my DC are 20ish (many years away but DM’s family are long-lived).

Thehop · 13/07/2020 22:16

I’m fairly confident all I’ll get is ignored does that count? My mother hates me 😂

nokidshere · 13/07/2020 22:16

Not my mums no, but I did with MILs. She discussed it frequently especially when she added stuff to it.

Our boys know the contents of ours. Which, tbf, simply says they get 50/50.

mynameiscalypso · 13/07/2020 22:17

Yes; mainly around the logistics though (and the spreadsheet they have of their various assets...can you tell they're accountants?)

minniemoll · 13/07/2020 22:17

I've seen my parents' wills, they're very simple, just leaving everything equally between me and my brother.

WisestIsShe · 13/07/2020 22:17

Yes. DM thinks it's better everyone knows what to expect. I agree.

SushiGo · 13/07/2020 22:18

One parent has told me but not the other. They have separate wills.

I think it's a good idea to discuss - anything unusual can be explained without it causing a nasty shock.

Do discuss what kind of burial they want too!

Makegoodchoices · 13/07/2020 22:18

I know my mother hasn’t bothered to make one as she’s going to live forever/she’s of the view that paperwork won’t be her problem at that point.

Missillusioned · 13/07/2020 22:19

I know my mum doesn't have one. And my dad didn't have one either.

saraclara · 13/07/2020 22:19

Yep, my mum told us what's in her will. My kids also know what's in mine.
Even my single auntie has told us what's in her will (my nephew is her executor, and my SIL was involved in helping her draw up the will, so I presume she felt that if they knew, we all should)

tootiredtothinkofanewname · 13/07/2020 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monkeysox · 13/07/2020 22:20

I knew my mum's wishes as I was executor. Normal to be aware. Saying that I don't know about in laws...

RoseMartha · 13/07/2020 22:20

Yes I know what is in my parents Wills.

gluteustothemaximus · 13/07/2020 22:20

Yes, I know I'm not in it Grin

RoseMartha · 13/07/2020 22:20

Yes I know what is in my parents Wills.

Alsohuman · 13/07/2020 22:20

I had to beg my parents to make theirs and take them to do it - they were 94 and 96 at the time and, no I’m not joking. There was only me to leave everything to and I was one of the executors so obviously I knew. Perhaps they want one of you to act as executor?

MinesAPintOfTea · 13/07/2020 22:21

Yes. They told all the adult children at the same time as they sorted the power of attorney paperwork in case they lose capacity. It was done some years ago, and hopefully will not be needed for decades yet.

They did it shortly after having to resolve my grandpa's when there was a question mark over whether he had capacity which made it much harder, and once the conversation was open, wills followed naturally.

As I see it, it is either exactly as everyone expects (so a short non controversial discussion) or not, in which case having the conversation whilst questions can still be asked and minds not clouded by grief can only be a good thing.