Do you know the contents of your parents’ wills?

[Fernandini056]

Is this a normal thing for families to discuss? Or do most people find out who’s been left what after the person has died?

Asking because my PIL want to discuss this with me and DH next week but I never experienced this with my own parents before they died. Just wondering if this is normal?

I knew what was in my mum’s will as we had discussed finances just before she died due to her plans for new partner to move in. I probably knew what it said before that though as she would have definitely left everything to my brother and I equally.

No idea what is in my dfil’s will although would have a fair idea. My sil will know though as she helps him with his finances and his will certainly be fair and equal too.

Our dc are teenagers and they know roughly about ours. Dd is very happy that she will go to live with my brother and sil, think she would quite like to go now actually!!

Yes since the age of about 13 I have known the contents of my parents wills, before that I knew my grand parents wills (generally as in grandads stuff went to the kids grandmas stuff went to the grand children)

I have copies of both parents wills etc.

My husbands family is the opposite though, he has no idea which I find odd

I knew what was in my mum’s - straightforward 4 way split between the 4 siblings. I had idly wondered if it would be different as I was kind of adopted into the family whereas my older siblings were biologically hers, but that was a random insecurity and not actually based on anything my mum had ever done or said. And obviously wasn’t the case in the end.
The will covered the sale of the house and what little bit of cash there was.

Other stuff like jewellery she sat me and my sisters down when she was ill and asked us to choose what we wanted. Was a bit morbid/ upsetting but made everything really straightforward.

No idea about in laws, can’t imagine it being anything other than a 50/50 split between DH and his brother but could be wrong. Don’t think he knows either - his gran has just passed away in her 90s and left the bulk to FIL but also some money to DH and his brother which came as a complete surprise so I don’t think they’re the type to discuss it really.

Roughly, yes.

I know there's a couple of charitable donations, a bit of cash for each of the nephews/nieces, and everything else 50/50 between my sister and I.

No.

I think me and sis will get half each of my mums stuff, but she's getting married next year so who knows.

Dad remarried 10 years ago so think it'll be split between five kids (3 step) and wife but sister thinks we'll get it all.

So no. No idea. I know my boyfriends aunts though as she's decided we're rich enough so she's giving it to charity 😂 Her choice ofc, good on her

My parents passed on what they had and rented while on the waiting list for a council bungalow (luckily quite short where they are). The funerals are paid for. If they both went tomorrow it would be a case of clearing their (minimal) belongings and splitting the couple of thousand they have left in savings. 50/50, I have one DB.

They're only early 70s, but very practical and a bit morbid about what we might have had to 'go through' otherwise.

Yes, I know what is in my mum's will- it's a bit complicated with estranged sibling (who doesn'tknow). So she wanted to make sure the rest of us know the ins and outs.

Yes, because we have POA and because my parents are very keen that if one of them dies, if the other remarries, the new partner has no claim on the estate!

Absolutely.

My parents felt that the very last time people can handle surprise information about money is in grief. They thought about it long and hard, what they wanted their money to be used for, and told us both.

DB was Not Happy. He’d made assumptions about the house.
Still, better that he’s known for years than it come as a blow to him when they die. And better that I don’t have to fight with him to get our parents’ wishes respected.

No. Other than my mum has assured me she’s left me the Grandfather clock which was my grandmothers. It’s worth fuck all but it’s the sound of those particular chimes which bring back great childhood memories so I asked if I could have that.

I knew as a child because it stated who my guardians were (only child and adopted so nominating guardians was a requirement). When they changed it about 20 years ago they sorted out power of attorney at the same time and therefore needed my involvement.

Please please please everyone ensure you know these things, wills etc about their parents.

My Mum died in April after a brain aneurysm complications that happened in February aged 60 and she was self employed. It has caused us more stress and upset than necessary as she didn’t have a will. I know it is an odd subject to discuss with parents/family members but it is so important! Also it is a good idea to have a nominated person to deal with your affairs if you are in hospital etc.

I have had to fight daily to ensure bills are paid and we have only just received the letters of administration. It is hard enough losing your Mum without the other stress!

No but do wish we'd seen it before they died. Included 'unequal' legacies to the three DGCs that caused a lot of upset at the time. Also a random small legacy to one of their 10 siblings that we didn't understand. DF had dementia by the time DM died so we didn't have a chance to ask why.

The actual specifics, who is executor etc no. But for both parents I am aware that inheritance is equally split between all siblings. My parents are young so not expecting to be sat down anytime soon, but I am expecting it at some point.

As the eldest I expect I will be executor for DF will. No idea on DM, she is closer to DSis so probably her.

DS is only 3 but when he gets older we will explain to him who his guardians are and be open with the fact that our wills are a 50:50 split with any siblings he may have.

My father worked in wills and probate. You would be shocked at how many people leave their whole estates or the vast majority of it to charity. Really really common. Even if they get on with their families well. There were a LOT of very shocked family members! Quite sad in some ways as family members often felt quite rejected. Better to have the discussions up front I think.

Not got a clue. I'm not even sure my parents or fil even have wills. Cant say I'm remotely bothered though, it's there money, not mine and I hope they spend it all.

I didn’t until my dad died when my mum opened his will in front of my sister and I. Everything went to my mum unless she had pre-deceased Dad, in which case everything went 50-50 to my sister and I. Hers is exactly the same. No charity bequests, no funeral requests, no specific gifts. It’s on one A4 page!

Yes I know what's in my Mother's will as she and my father ran it by me and my sister to make sure it was correct and fair, when they changed it to allow for our children to have our share if either of us predeceased our parents. In the event I noticed that the solicitor had slipped in a clause only allowing them to inherit if they were over 25 years of age. At that time one of my sister's three children and all three of mine were under 25, I asked my parents if they intended that they couldn't inherit unless they were 25 but they had no knowledge of the clause and had it changed so that the children would inherit equally but it would be held in trust until they were 25.

My in-laws also asked me to look through their will before they signed it, there were no issues with theirs as they had allowed for the circumstance that their DS may predecease them.

Yes, I've known my parents and my in-laws and several childless relatives. I was honoured to be trusted with their final wishes, and in the case of a couple who died after long difficult illnesses which affected their ability to communicate I was pleased that I (as LPA for one and Court of Protection for another) was able to take decisions that I knew they would approve of and would gel with their inheritance plans.

Mum and Dad nominated my brother and I as executors so showed us both wills(Mirror) as well as telling us their bank accounts etc(not the actual amounts).

My father had a serious operation when I was in my early 20's and his will was left out on the desk in his study when he went into the hospital. I chanced upon it and curiosity got the better of me... I was quite taken aback by the contents, which really highlighted his feelings for me and my siblings.

He owned various properties, the most expensive of which was to go to one of my siblings (his favourite). This meant that one sibling inherited around twice as much in property value as the others. The remaining assets were to be split evenly, with the proviso that my share was to be held in trust until I was 35 and that certain deductions were to be made, mainly for extra money I had been whilst at Uni. This amounted to about £15k, but deducting it seemed very petty and pointed in the context of the overall amounts involved. There was also a family trust, which was divided evenly.

Anyway, my dad this year and as my parents had mirror wills, everything went to my mother. She has since changed her own will and adjusted the terms so that everything is completely equal between my siblings and I.

Seeing my dad's will permanently damaged our relationship. I'd always suspected that he favoured one of my siblings and it really proved it beyond all doubt.

I’ve been begging my parents for years to make wills but they always come up with an excuse, “I’m not planning on dying“ or “it’s too expensive“ but they’ve said they think everything should go to my sibling.

My sibling has got learning difficulties and has never worked or claimed any benefits, he’s totally out of the system, he won’t be able to live independently without some help once they’re gone and I’ve asked them repeatedly to make a will putting everything in trust for him because if he’s on his own with a large lump sum then no agency is going to help him and it will be frittered away on living expenses.

Plus it puts me in the position of having to refuse my half of their inheritance, which I may or may not be in a position to do at the time plus arrange everything for my sibling whilst dealing with their deaths. I think it’s very selfish of them but that’s par for the course, I think that their position is that once they’re dead it won’t be their problem anymore and I can’t imagine doing that for my own children.

I overheard a conversation about it once when I was a teenager. Apparently it’s all (which isn’t a lot) to be held in trust between 5 friends of my mums until I’m 30 or 40 if I get married. So that tells you everything about what my parents think about me. I got really drunk at my 21st party and said to one of the 5 that I had to keep her onside so that I could pay my bills if my parents died - she had no idea what I was talking about and then said she’d advocate for just giving me it in a onner. I’m married and not yet 40 so there’s time to find out.

I know how things stand at the moment and I wish I didn't.

My mum doesn't have a will. She's talked about doing one with Stepdad but they keep falling out about it. I have no doubt, however that SD has a will in place already.
He has already said to her that he won't leave anything to my brother or me - because of how my brother is! Which is a bit hurtful. So instead my mum is paying for a extortionate life insurance which will
Pay direct to me and DB..... I wish she would just do her own will! Even if it's to leave it all to the cats home!

I know bits of my dads, not because he has told me but someone else has. I'm not personally happy about it but it doesn't surprise me in the slightest.

Nope, I assume they have one but that's it. Me & OH have ours done.