Do you know the contents of your parents’ wills?

[Fernandini056]

Is this a normal thing for families to discuss? Or do most people find out who’s been left what after the person has died?

Asking because my PIL want to discuss this with me and DH next week but I never experienced this with my own parents before they died. Just wondering if this is normal?

Yes vaguely. It's half each to my sister and I. And I know that I'm executor (I think that's the right term, I have no experience of this).

Not my parents. My PIL discuss theirs all the time which I found weird at first but I'm used to it now.

Yes. I'm an only child and everything is left to me.

Yes, they have discussed it with us including a recent update to include a trust for the grandchildren. My very working class dad was slightly confused by it all but they've had excellent advice to make the most of their assets, which they worked incredibly hard for many years for. It's a very big deal for them to have something to leave us (although we always tell them to spend it).
We've discussed ours with DB and SIL as they would be guardians of our DC should we both die prematurely, that's something that needs to be discussed along with the financial provision for him, my parents know and so do PIL.

Oh I also know I have power of attorney for both of my parents in particular circumstances, I asked DB if he was bothered and he said no, it doesn't sound like much fun!

Yes, our mum discussed it with us recently as she has decided that one sibling will get a greater share of the proceeds of her house, and she wanted to explain why - but really wouldn't have bothered the rest of us anyway - it's her decision and no one else's!

Also pretty important to know where the will is.

Yes because it’s complicated and I will end up being a trustee of a will trust

DFIL discussed his with DH and his other sons when he made it several years before he passed away so there were no surprises. I haven't a clue what's in my mum's, I imagine split between me and my NC, still-off-the-rails-at-36 sister. Not a clue about my dad but I imagine anything there would be left to stepmum's children who are classed as the real family.

Yes for my parents, not really for PIL but we do know who are the executors. Similar to how my grandparents handled it so there were no confusions after they passed.

Written out of my dad's will - I heard that through the grapevine.
My mum keeps talking about leaving everything to the grand kids - so I'll be written out of hers.
DH's mum died and his dad has remarried to an evil cow, so I'm pretty sure we will be written out of that will too.
But I don't mind any of it - it's their money and they can do as they choose, just as I will in turn with my own money.

No. I know they have made wills, and they have set up POA in case it should be needed at some point in the future, but I don't know the details of what's in their wills. I would imagine that there will be a pretty even split between me and dsis, and some kind of consideration for the grandchildren. Possibly some charitable donations. There won't be anything contentious or any major surprises, it simply isn't their style.

Yes, I'm dads only living relative, but he hasn't mentioned me. Hes leaving all of his stuff to his friends, which hurts because it's not money but his worldly possessions

PILs leaving all to husband, if FIL doesnt go into a home that is

Yes, we knew what was in our Mum's will - or so we thought! But when we went to see the solicitor, we found she'd updated her will and the copy we had was invalid. No major changes, just a few small bequests to charities.

Can I suggest to anyone approaching an age where your will might be likely to be needed soon - if you own lots of small amounts of different shares that aren't worth much, do your family a favour and sell them. Finding the certificates (if any), working out which ones had new names and newly-issued extra shares etc was a total nightmare.

Vaguely. My dad always tells me if he makes a change due to giving money to one of my siblings or similar. He's very concerned about anything we get being fair. I don't expect anything and hope they spend it all enjoying their retirement (if they get to anytime soon - covid has really fucked that up as they were due to retire imminently and can't now for a few more years). Their money they deserve to enjoy it!

My parents gave me a copy of their will. They’re still young (early 50s) so I haven’t read it yet and I hope that I won’t have to for a looooooong time. I know what it says though as they did discuss it with us.
One of my grandparents changed their will a few times so I have no idea what that says at present and don’t care.

Yes because I have POA

Well my father died without one and he didn't leave much and there was only us 2 adult children so it was straight forward. I dealt with the estate.

No idea if my mother has one or exactly what would be in it. She isn't rich or a property owner though so it's unlikely to be hugely complicated.

I do know a basic outline of a very rich relative as he has recently appointed me as power of attorney if it's needed in the future and asked me to be executer when the time comes. It may be quite complicated so he wanted to go over a few details with me.

I know some of my grandmothers because she mentions it (not only to me) when she wants to manipulate certain emotional loyalties! I've flatly told her I love her wether I'm in it or not and I'd much prefer to see her enjoying it now, so stop, I think the latest is I'm in it a little bit but she's changed it to give more to

My remaining parent hasn’t anything to leave. The funeral is paid for, and a small insurance sum will be available too to cover any extra expenses if needed. I’m the executor and sole beneficiary. If there’s anything left after cremation and interment of ashes costs I’ll put it in my children’s savings accounts - talking a couple of hundred pounds at the very most.

Yes, I know what is in the will. I’ve also been introduced to the lawyer and the banker.

My mother and grandmother have though both given me their living wills and gone over their wants and needs so I can communicate them to hospital and doctors etc.

I should say I suppose that while I'm not sure what my mothers will is if she has one I'm almost positive I won't be in it!

My parents were of the old school, we didn't know much but the basics. Luckily my siblings and I all pulled together in their elderly care (cancer and dementia).

As a LP, my adult son knows where to find everything (documents, etc). for it all. (Bank accounts, rental, utilities contracts). It's what you do, life admin.

Bad enough to deal with bereavement, without the stress of the practicalities not being sorted.

My dad told me three years ago that he and mum both had £20k to do as they wished and the rest going to spouse, or if they have died first was split between me and my brother. I didn't know what he "wished" for his £20k.

He died a couple of months ago and the £20k is actually £100k, split between me and my brother.

My mum gets the rest.

However, my mum didn't know what he had put in his, despite her having the same in her will. She thought it was all his personal assets split three ways, me, bro and her, and joint assets to her. So, we are all better off than we expected.

Except my sister, who gets nothing.

My mum's will says £100k split three ways between me, bro and sis. Residue to dad, unless he dies first (which he has) and then split three ways.
BUT, mum's will names my bro as executor and he is, frankly, useless. He has done zero to help mum with dad's death.

Also, she now wants to leave something directly to her grandchildren (my sister's children who she has literally ignored for thirty years, and my brother's two year old) so she needs to write a new will.
Meantime she is gifting my sister £50k to match what my brother and I get, and pretending dad left it to her. I just have to not say anything and hope sister doesn't get any ideas about downloading the will from the probate office!

So complicated!

@betteliefsen

Yes because I have POA

That's not relevant to wills at all.