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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you know the contents of your parents’ wills?

225 replies

Fernandini056 · 13/07/2020 22:11

Is this a normal thing for families to discuss? Or do most people find out who’s been left what after the person has died?

Asking because my PIL want to discuss this with me and DH next week but I never experienced this with my own parents before they died. Just wondering if this is normal?

OP posts:
eurochick · 13/07/2020 22:21

Yes but it is fairly recent thing probably prompted by them turning 70. They redid their wills and also sorted out powers of attorney. I'm an only child so it's not a big surprise where it is going. They gave me a rough idea of the number and it was more than I expected. I hope they spend much of it on lovely holidays and good meals though - they were giving it a good go before lockdown!

Juo · 13/07/2020 22:21

It's perfectly normal. They may have named you as executor and want to let you know.
Our DC are both execs and know the details of our wills.

drspouse · 13/07/2020 22:21

Mum yes, as she has a set of bequests that may put the cat among the pigeons.
Dad no - He has more to leave, so in fact it could be even more controversial!

2155User · 13/07/2020 22:22

Yes but I'm an only child so I have always pretty much known.
Unless they secretly hate me.
And are planning to donate it all to the local social club.

DramaAlpaca · 13/07/2020 22:23

Pretty much, yes.

CGWGWOO · 13/07/2020 22:23

DH and I have told our sons that we are leaving everything to them 50/50.
My jewellery and girly stuff is going to my DIL or if my DS1 should marry or have a partner, then it’s to be shared between them.

WonderWebbs · 13/07/2020 22:23

Yes. My DF has a partner and she doesn't have children so she will have a life interest in my DF's house. Thereafter, the house will be split between me and a sibling.

GrumpyHoonMain · 13/07/2020 22:24

I know my parents wishes and where the will is. They want to split some things fairly other things not but it’s all been discussed.

BuffaloCauliflower · 13/07/2020 22:24

Im trying to get my mum to write one at the moment due to some complicated issues, despite an uncomplicated estate (a house and that’s it) she’s not old but not fantastically healthy either.

I wish my FIL would let us in on his because his finances are clearly likely to be stressful and MIL doesn’t know about any of it.

GreyGardens88 · 13/07/2020 22:24

I have no idea, I don't even know if they have a will. I know their finances are "dynamic" at the moment so it would probably have to be changed anyway

I'm not relying on receiving inheritance as it's never guaranteed

MitziK · 13/07/2020 22:25

No, but I'm pretty sure that it'll be leaving all her money to her golden boy, so there's no point in thinking about it more than that.

Coughsyrupsucks · 13/07/2020 22:25

I do, my parents are very open about it. DH’s parents have made vague comments about a bank being the executer and that’s it. No idea what’s in it, how it’s split, any of their wishes for end of life or funerals. Considering they are not in good health, it’s bit of a nightmare in the making.

Rainallnight · 13/07/2020 22:25

My mum discussed hers with us because there were some tax efficient options to leave some money in trust for the DC for their education and to DP and SIL in their names.

But then didn’t get round to actually writing it till her last days in the hospice, which was all a bit last minute and tricky.

Do your wills, people!

pandafunfactory · 13/07/2020 22:25

I don't know if my parents have redone theirs. I expect it's still split between me and my sister but I expect they will have left specific things to the grandchildren. I have a hunch my daughters will get jewellery and my nephew the (ancient) sports car which will annoy my girls no end Grin
No idea about in-laws but I'd be stunned if it isn't equal shares between their children inc dh.

Fatted · 13/07/2020 22:26

Yes it's normal. My parents have done it with us. Better that everyone knows what they want when the end comes.

Seriously79 · 13/07/2020 22:27

Everything is spilt 50/50 between me and my brother.

ParcelFarce · 13/07/2020 22:28

Yes, I know (but wish I didn’t, as my half sibling is not included and I’ll have to be the one to deal with the fallout. Thanks dad!) I think for most normal families it’s very sensible to discuss this stuff though - I certainly intend to with my kids.

junecat · 13/07/2020 22:29

We know what is in my MIL's as my FIL sadly passed a few years ago so they sent it to all of us then. We know what is in my Dad's (nothing) because he wanted us to know about his funeral that he has paid for already :( My mother hasn't spoken to me or my sibling for 7 years but wrote to us to say she had written us out so I guess nothing 😀

Bupkis · 13/07/2020 22:30

I do now because my mum died suddenly a few weeks ago.

If there is anything they have strong feelings about with regards to burial etc, please make sure it is all written down.

AlphabetDinosaur · 13/07/2020 22:30

I know the contents of my mum's but as I'm her only child it just all goes to me or if I'm dead then to my kids. No idea about my dad's.... I know I'm the beneficiary of the pension from one of his old jobs but I imagine I'm not included in the actual will and will probably never actually find out.

Zenithbear · 13/07/2020 22:30

Yes it's split equally between us siblings atm. But my mum is likely to outlive my dad and she's already said she will cut me out. She's trying to persuade my dad to change it to disinherit me now but he's refusing. First time she's heard the word no from him. Luckily I don't need it. I'm financially sorted and would have given it to dc.

Longdistance · 13/07/2020 22:32

Yes, I know what I’d written in the will.

My in laws (divorced) haven’t made one. It’s really complicated as well as mil still owns half of fils house. She has remarried since 🤦🏼‍♀️

SpringFan · 13/07/2020 22:32

My parents gave DB and I a copy of their wills when they were made. Our kids know what is in our WIlls.
PIL did not discuss with DH, and left the house and most of their money to SIL.

junecat · 13/07/2020 22:33

Sad face is because he's thought about his funeral, not because he has no money to leave!

sunrainwind · 13/07/2020 22:33

Yes, it's very simple and my sister and I are the executors.

We also have a spreadsheet of our assets and insurance policies with account numbers so that, if we both died, everything would be found.

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