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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to kill our lodger?

292 replies

PSCMUM · 27/09/2007 21:55

He is a pig. He leaves socks everywhere. He does not do his own washing up. WE have a cleaner who comes once a week, she cleans while we are out, he comes home before we do, and effectively trashes the place. Pots in the sink, washing on the kitchen floor, (yesterday it was on the dining table!), shoes everywhere, wet towels on the bathroom floor, I just found a glass of wine outside his room with MOULD in it. I came home from work today, walked into my bedroom, to find that he had been using the computer in here (totally fine) but had left his coffee cip and half a plate of steak and kidney pie in here!!! (not ok) am so furious. I had to relly talk myself into nt hurling into his bedroom.

He is so nice though, really nice with the children, really plays with them, chats to them, explains things to them. But I might still have to kill him.

Murder on the kitchen floor.

OP posts:
Katisha · 20/10/2007 20:30

Yes why hasn't he got a key?
And I would say give him notice right now and have a chance to tidy up etc before the next one comes. Why wait? It doesn't sound like he'd be giving you any more money anyway?

tigermoth · 20/10/2007 20:31

That is terrible PCS mum. Has your lodger go some sort of self sabotage thing going on in his head? He deliberatly puts himself s in a situation where the people he lives with reject him.

The only practical alternative, if you decide to put up with this till you get someone else, is to hide a key for him somewhere just outside your front door. Only put it out just before you go to bed and demand he gives you it back every morning.

And, if not possible to do this, get your dh to be the one who gets up to let him in.

Quattrocento · 20/10/2007 20:34

You're utterly bonkers. Stark raving bonkers.

I recognise the life your lodger lives. Dimly. Was so long ago before grown up things like mortgages and husbands and children happened to me.

You are living in the grown-up world. He isn't. Get rid. Don't be feeble.

AngharadGoldenhand · 20/10/2007 20:37

Take the battery out of the doorbell at night.
He is being ridiculous.

themoon66 · 20/10/2007 20:41

If you have to get up at 5.30am anyway, then ask him to hang on another two and half hours wherever he's been before coming home and ringing the bell. Surely 2 and half hours doesnt make that much difference to him.

Rabbitbreath · 20/10/2007 22:31

Sorry to be so rude (just read the whole thread while watching the Rugby Worldcup) PSCMUM it sounds like you are crying wolf and it is getting a bit boring! What do you actually want people to tell you????

amytheearwaxbanisher · 20/10/2007 22:37

you still havnt kicked him out?it is a month old now

foxensteinscreature · 20/10/2007 22:41

Get rid of him. If he is annoying you that much, its not worth the hassle. You can find a nice new lodger who isn't a pig.

starshaker · 20/10/2007 23:05

print this out after u found another lodger and give it to him as a farewell gift. might give him the kick up the ass that he needs

sKerryMum · 20/10/2007 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claraenglish · 20/10/2007 23:35

Message withdrawn

Blu · 21/10/2007 00:09

the lodger is a knob and making you sound like one too, tbh!

Disconnect the doorbell. Tell him if he does not have a key you will NOT be letting him in.

And give him notice.

I can't understand why you are working, being a parents and letting this immature selfish tit walk all over you.

Tortington · 21/10/2007 01:14

agreed battery would come out of doorbell and it simply wouldnt be answered.

and tbh - idon't know why your dp hasnt just twatted him.

tigermoth · 21/10/2007 07:54

He sounds like the sort of person who would bang on the door, shout and phone you in the middle of the night until someone let him in

GoodGollyMissMolly · 21/10/2007 09:47

PSCMUM, good to hear that you are advertising the room and getting yourself a new lodger. Hopefully all will be a lot better with a new one.

TBH though I do echo what the others are saying, give him his notice now, then you have a chance to deal with any unpleasentnes (SP?) that may come of giving him notice. Also it will give you a chance to clean and tidy his room as I expect that he doesn't keep it up to standard himself.

Also I agree with what starshaker said about printing this thread out and giving it to him, it may make he sit up and take notice of what a complete knob he has been to you and your family.

Hope all goes well, keep us posted

xx

ArmadilloDaMan · 21/10/2007 09:54

agree with everyone else re taking batteries out of doorbell. Make him sleep in the garden. Get some ear plugs if necessary.

I'm not sure why people think this is a wind up though Have been in same situation myself before, and know others who have as well. It makes it more difficult when it is a friend and they promise to improve.

I never chucked mine out till I had someone to replace them. There was always the hope that more money would be forthcoming in that time.

HOwever don't make the mistake I did in being so desperate, thinking that anyone would be better. YOu just end up with someone who has different, but equally unpleasant/irritating habits

lady007pink · 21/10/2007 10:21

Margoandjerry, thanks for that link - I've been trying to find that song for ages but didn't know the artist or song title! Very appropriate for this thread. I've only read as far as that post, trying to get througfh the rest before I make an opinion while watching DD 11 months!

lady007pink · 21/10/2007 10:29

Please keep us posted, PSCMUM.

Original poster
PSCMUM · 21/10/2007 19:25

hi guys, thanks so much, knew you'd all say all that stuff. it#s nice to know I am doing the right thing. DH keeps saying its like shooting a puppy. And to whoever says if we stop doorbell use he will just ring phones - he already does this. Sometimes its the doorbell,sometimes its the landline, sometimes its both our mobiles.
DH is feeling awful about it, keeps talking about how 'what we could do make him change...' but not sure if I'm mentioned before - I CANNOT STAND ANOTHER MINUTE

what does everyone think re chucking him out now and getting new lodger in asap, or waiting til have new lodger guaranteed, then chucking him out in hope we get some of the money he owes us?

also - any tips from anyone who has had to find a lodger to live with them and their children - who to look for, who to steer well clear of. Apart obv, from current dickhead.

xx

OP posts:
MrsLynetteScavo · 21/10/2007 19:40

This guy sounds exactly like a lodger we had pre- DC's. He's not from Middlesbourough is he? Eventually he moved out, but still came round to use the washing machine when he thought we were out! The next lodger we got was the total opposite, very neat and tidy, but difficult to get on with. If you can house train your lodger, it would be better than getting someone new, who might annoy you in other ways.

kindersurprise · 21/10/2007 19:50

I would cut my losses tbh, get rid of him and start looking for someone new. That way you will have time to get the room sorted. At the moment, he is not paying his rent regularly anyway.

How about a someone who is only there during the week. Was there not someone on MN recently looking for someplace for her DH?

kindersurprise · 21/10/2007 19:53

here is the thread

Don't know where you are PSCMum but it sounds like a good match.

Original poster
PSCMUM · 21/10/2007 19:53

o god wow, that would just be excellent.

Our area the going rate for nice double rooms is around £120-£130 pw. We can afford to accept around £80 pw, so we could potentially manage a during the week only person.
to be honest, I just wnat someone who is nice and tidy and not an outright pisstaker. So yes, if anyone knows anyone, please let me know. We're in Hackney in London.

OP posts:
Original poster
PSCMUM · 21/10/2007 19:59

kindersurprise - thank you SO MUCH! I'ce just posted on there. I so hope she is still looking.
I had vowed to never get another male. But he sounds so well trained he could almost be female!
Thanks again.

OP posts:
kindersurprise · 21/10/2007 20:19

No problem, I remember reading that a few days ago and thinking of you.