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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to kill our lodger?

292 replies

PSCMUM · 27/09/2007 21:55

He is a pig. He leaves socks everywhere. He does not do his own washing up. WE have a cleaner who comes once a week, she cleans while we are out, he comes home before we do, and effectively trashes the place. Pots in the sink, washing on the kitchen floor, (yesterday it was on the dining table!), shoes everywhere, wet towels on the bathroom floor, I just found a glass of wine outside his room with MOULD in it. I came home from work today, walked into my bedroom, to find that he had been using the computer in here (totally fine) but had left his coffee cip and half a plate of steak and kidney pie in here!!! (not ok) am so furious. I had to relly talk myself into nt hurling into his bedroom.

He is so nice though, really nice with the children, really plays with them, chats to them, explains things to them. But I might still have to kill him.

Murder on the kitchen floor.

OP posts:
Katisha · 21/10/2007 20:57

And even if the new lodger doesn't appear just yet, I really would get the current one out - he's not going to change is he? Get his room deep cleaned and give yourself a bit of breathing space before the next one comes along. Really.

Original poster
PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 08:20

just posting bleary eyed as lodger and latest lady crashed though the house at 4am. Yes, he is getting later,
is it ok to go and knock on his door and evict him now do you think?
ha ha

have 3 under 3's coming over in next half an hour to play with dd. Will get them to play 'screeching' or 'drumming' or similar!

OP posts:
GoodGollyMissMolly · 22/10/2007 08:26

PSCMUM great idea to get the DC's to play nice and loudly Right outside his bedroom door for added effect!!

Freckle · 22/10/2007 08:37

Whistles and drums. When he objects, just smile sweetly and say "Oh and by the way, you've got 24 hours to find somewhere else to live, OK?"

Sheherazadethegoat · 22/10/2007 08:43

oh god, throw him out please.

zookeeper · 22/10/2007 08:45

I would go into his room NOW open the curtains and start packing his things for him. You don't have to give him notice. He sounds as though he will be absolutely fine - people like him will always find someone to use.

I'm curious as to why he has to wake you up anyway - has he not got a key?

tigermoth · 22/10/2007 09:05

He's got to go. You need to get as much back rent from him as possible.

You and your dh should work out the best method of doing this. Keep it clean and simple, but don't spend a minute worrying about him.

zookeeper · 22/10/2007 09:11

I would just cut your losses and get him out - you could say that if he goes today then you won't pursue him for his unpaid rent.

sallystrawberry · 22/10/2007 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 13:20

i;m not that fussed about looking foolish tbh! I've been really glad of the cybr support, I think lots of people on here who have had lodgers, esp those who have been their friends, can empathise and realise its not as easy as it sounds. But I know, I've been a total wimp!

I want to chuck him out today.

The reason he has to wake us up - when he first moved in I gave him a key, he lost it, i lent him mine to get another one cut, he didn't get one cut, and lost mine. I got one copied for him using Dh's, as I was fed up of the doorbell business, and he lost that. So now he is the king of the doorbell.

Now our minds are turned to how on earth we are going to get the money he owes us out of him. I don't think we will ever gte it tbh. I think everyone is right, its cut our losses time. I could sell his laptop I suppose. That'd get back a good 20% of what he owes us!

OP posts:
Katisha · 22/10/2007 13:31

Say if he doesn't cough up you'll pursue him through the courts? Even if you don't it might galvanise him. Maybe have a word with his mother and gran who are apparently so pleased he is living with you as well?
But serve him his notice TODAY. Please! While you and DH sit about agonising he goes his merry unchanging way and keeps on abusing your good natures.

Original poster
PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 13:31

has anyone got some ideas about how to get the rent out of him? I suppose I could just go and take his cash card when he is asleep..is that stealing?

OP posts:
Original poster
PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 13:31

has anyone got some ideas about how to get the rent out of him? I suppose I could just go and take his cash card when he is asleep..is that stealing?

OP posts:
Domesticgodless · 22/10/2007 13:50

oh god you are SO too nice

Just DON'T OPEN THE DOOR to him after 11. When he rings just switch off /disconnect the phones.

then when he throws his shoes at the windows you can call the police about his antisocial behaviour...

Domesticgodless · 22/10/2007 13:52

Send bill to his mum and gran

Ask for his work address and send the bill directly there if you have to. Might embarrass him into coughing up.

What does he do btw? Enough to fund a social life but not rent. Bleurgh.

Freckle · 22/10/2007 13:54

Present him with an official looking bill. Show exactly what he should have been paying, deduct any payments he has made and clearly show an outstanding balance.

Give him 7 days to pay this amount failing which you will issue a claim in the small claims court (you can do this online). Put this in a letter and hand-deliver it to him, whilst giving him (because you are soft) 24 hours to move out. You could send a copy of the letter to his mum and gran!

Chances are that you won't get your money - don't forget you will need a current address for him in order to issue proceedings, so it may just be as well to cut your losses and find another nice lodger who will pay.

In future, don't accept any excuses from a lodger. The rent is due at 10am on a Saturday (or whenever) and no later. If they don't pay, they have 24 hours to move out.

ManxMum · 22/10/2007 14:04

Does his mum still ring?

you could ask her about rent arrears.

I don't think you can steal from him, but maybe with hold washing/other items of his to ransom, maybe.

tigermoth · 22/10/2007 18:24

hmm... you want to know how to get his rent out of him - and he has no key you say.

Well in that case, you could phone him at work one morning, tell him you've packed his suitcase with clothing and washing gear and it's on the doorstep. But if he wants the rest of his stuff (TV, laptop, music stuff, whatever else he has in his room) he needs to give you the rent he owes you (or an agreed proportioin of it if you are feeling generous) before you let him back in to collect it.

And agree with others, phone his mum. Tell her you've had to let him go because of the doorbell business etc and him not paying rent. You don't have to make it sound like you are begging her for the money, but if he is consistently doing this to all his landlords (who then evict him) it's doing his mum a favour to let her know what's happening to her precious boy in London. It sounds like he has a real problem connecting with reality, mixed in with his selfishness and immaturity.

In the big wide world, if he owed money to a landlord, things could get heavy for him.

Original poster
PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 19:10

have found lovely new lodger! well nearly - spoken on phone twice, she is really nice, and coming to view tmrw, but we have people in common and she lives around here already, so thinks she'll prob just take it. AND at market rent, rather than bargain basement rent which we charged current lodger as we were soft in the head.

Now just the little problem of cleaning his room in time for her to come round and see it without being repelled.

I know where he works, I know what he does. He earns the same amount of money as I do. I know, he leaves his payslips all over the fkng place

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ArmadilloDaMan · 22/10/2007 19:16

SOunding good

Don't let him in in the early hours of the morning Don't let him in at all.

You can then clean it at your leisure (well sort of).

One thing you may want to look out for (sorry to ruin your mood) is bugs.

2 sets of our lodgers got them cos of the states of their rooms (different times).

Lovely

Original poster
PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 19:22

Was already in there today. I found:
No bugs.
Some mould
The remnants of the pudding my DD half finished at supper yesterday, then gave up on and wanted to save for today.
About 1/3 of my husband's wardrobe
One pair of my knickers.

I'm not reading too much into the last one, i think he just got his washing mixed up. But anyway, is immaterial, as he is aout to be evicted.

Do you think I could Davina Mccalls to come and stand outside my house and get all of mumsnet along to boo really loudly?

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Earlybird · 22/10/2007 19:25

Hooray!

How will you break it to old lodger, and will it be you or dh that tells him?

Do you feel relieved? New lodger sounds great, btw.

Original poster
PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 19:30

I don't know.
lodger literally RAN out the door this morning so I just caught a glimpse of his head as he ran out the door and slammed it behind himself .Think he knows he is in trouble.
I might just write him a note. But I might just not tell him until after tmw when new hopefully new lodger comes and looks at his room. I want to leave no room for sabotage.

OP posts:
jajas · 22/10/2007 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PSCMUM · 22/10/2007 19:34

CNa't ring him at work, he works in a live music venue and won't hear....could text him tho.

But i think i will wait til tmrw. Get him out the way, show the room, get a yes out of new lodger (please please fingers crossed. And toes) THEN tell him. Cos once she has siad yes, i don't give a damn what he does, as long as he gets the hell out of my house.

Dh thinks he and his family will never speak to us again /I am glad.

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