Would you lend a large sum of money to somebody?

[Swirlyceiling]

As in 2 or 3 grand upwards.

To me, this is a lot of money. I think there is only 1 person I'd lend this to. 2 if they were absolutely desperate.

I've had to chase people for small sums or been left feeling awkward after I have done something kind to try and help somebody out of a tight spot, so I don't like lending people money any more. Not that I have lots to spare anyway.

Just wondering if anyone else feels this way or if I'm just tight?

I’d lend (or give if I could) money to both my best friends. I trust them both implicitly- we’ve been friends for over 40 years.

No way!

I loaned my half sister £350 over 30 years ago to pay for a private abortion following a ONS. Was totally secret - very Irish Catholic family - so only me and other half sister knew about it. £350 was an awful lot of money to us at that time and DH warned me not to do it.

Guess what? Never saw a penny of the money and no explanation as to why not. Couldn’t make a fuss as she knew I couldn’t break the secret.

I broke off contact with the whole family the following year - nothing to do with this - and never spoke to any of them again. Hsis to whom I lent the money died 3 years ago so I certainly won’t ever see it again. 😒

Never again.

Not since my bastard of a FIL pressured us to take out a 5k loan, he paid 1K of it back, and then when DH asked him for the balance as agreed, he just said, 'but it's gone X'. No remorse, no shame, no care for how he shattered his son's illusion that his father was an honourable man.

When mil's cooker broke I offered to lend her £350 for a new one she had mentioned.. Dp making odd faces behind her.. I didn't know she was crap with money and I would be lucky to see it again.. I gently reminded her as the months went by that the money was from our wedding savings.. She assured me I would have it back. She and her dh worked full time..
The night before the wedding I got it back!! And our wedding gift was a photo frame with the price tag still on..
£2.75!!
Very glad she is an ex mil now..

Only to my siblings or parents and only what I could afford to lose. I also wouldn’t loan to them for something frivolous or if they had a bad history with money (they don’t)

Never lend more than you are prepared to write off.

My brother, yes
Anyone else, no.
I have 2 (ex) friend who owe me a substantial amount of money and don’t give a shit about paying it back, so I’ve had to write it off.

Not a chance and I could afford to write it off (which maybe does make me tight but I really don’t care) though I am at the advantage of knowing my DP’s and DS would never need it so I guess that takes out obvious contenders...The only people who benefit from my nuclear family is: DH and DC’s money is ..... my nuclear family...

But I would never borrow either...

I’d give it to my parents, sister or two of my friends. They’d pay me back but I wouldn’t care if they didn’t.

No, but there are family members I might give money to in certain circumstances.

I would to my parents or sibling, never to anyone else. They're financially astute though so would never happen.

I would give such an amount to my parents if they needed it but it would be a loan it would be a gift. If someone’s broke and needs 2-3k there is no way they can pay it back, or paying it back wouldn’t cause them to borrow more elsewhere.

I was once pushed to be garentour on a loan for 3.5k (repayment was 7k!) for a family member to repay rent arrears and stop eviction. I was no fucking way! Said have to stump up 7k or I’d lose my home if they didn’t pay which I knew they couldn’t.

It was quite emotional as she was pregnant and they already had two girls, and I had exactly 3.5k in savings (they didn’t know this) so I considered giving it to them. But it took me years to save after getting out of debt and was my emergency fund, I would have ended up in debt if I had given it to them. And they would still probably end up getting evicted unless they got housing they could afford which becoming homeless would help with or increased their income dramatically.

So I bought them and my guilt off by giving them 200 quid as a gift. They thought I was being super generous (far more then ‘just’ guaranteeing a loan).

I later found out why they couldn’t afford their rent. She wasn’t working (never had) and he had gone from full to part time to pursue music, while I was working full time plus all the overtime I could get. Plus at the same time she had a super expensive birthday party with lots of free food and booze for everyone, it was paid for by her Mum but surely better spent on avoiding her pregnant daughters eviction. Anyway I’m glad that I didn’t give or lend them anymore as I don’t think I would have been able to forgive them if I had and the found out about work and the party.