Would you lend a large sum of money to somebody?

[Swirlyceiling]

As in 2 or 3 grand upwards.

To me, this is a lot of money. I think there is only 1 person I'd lend this to. 2 if they were absolutely desperate.

I've had to chase people for small sums or been left feeling awkward after I have done something kind to try and help somebody out of a tight spot, so I don't like lending people money any more. Not that I have lots to spare anyway.

Just wondering if anyone else feels this way or if I'm just tight?

[areyoubeingserviced]

My husband lent over 4K to a very close friend who promised to return it within six months. Four years later, my husband is still waiting.
It has damaged their relationship.
Never again

[Chocolate1984]

I gave my brother a loan of £10,000. I knew he would pay me back, I completely trust him. I would only load large amounts of money to family. We all get on, trust each other and wouldn’t fall out over money.

[indecisiveness1]

No way. Only people I would ever lend money to is my parents. Not that I think they would ever ask, or need my help, but if they were in a position where this was case I would trust them 100%.

[MissFlite]

Yes, a five figure sum to a family member. It took years to get it back and has caused damage to the relationship so would definitely think twice before doing it again.

[riceuten]

I would do so, but it would need to be a lifelong friend with a good reason. Even then, my mum lent a close friend 10 grand and died about 6 months later, and they claimed to have paid it back, though there was no evidence of it.

I would rather do something in kind, personally. I had a work colleague who asked me to lend her a substantial amount of money (a couple of hundred quid) to "pay off a credit card debt". I said I would be happy to help her out, and would pay them directly, if she gave me the details. She declined, and wanted the cash, so I refused - I suspect she actually owed somebody some money for drugs.

[Crabbo]

I think it really depends on the circumstances, there’s no blanket yes or no. My husbands life was changed completely because a friends parents lent him £40k. No legal agreement or anything, they just trusted him to repay them. He would be in very different circumstances now if they hadn’t done that.

[AlexandPea]

I lent £10,000 to MIL as she was desperate and needed short term bridging finance. It was agreed it would be 6 months and she would sell antiques to repay us. It was our savings for a house deposit for us and baby DS.

6 months came and went and every excuse in the book not to repay: can’t have valuers in the house, I paid DH’s school fees so it is right you should gift me the money to giving me jewellery worth £2,000 (ostensibly as a gift) then saying it was repayment.

It destroyed our relationship. I would never lend again.

[Knittingnanny]

I wouldn’t lend more than I could afford not to get back. So in theory only to my family. Which I have done and it’s always paid back.
In practice though, I lent a good friend £2000 a few years ago as she was in a terrible mess not of her own doing. I had inherited some money when my parents died and after giving some to my children it went in the bank (my half of a small modest house sale so not huge but enough to be able to help a friend in need) however, she was made redundant, parted from her partner who paid half of the bills and has not been able yet to repay any of it. I haven’t asked for it but it has made a difference to our friendship and I definitely would not do the same again for anyone outside of my family.

[Swirlyceiling]

have you been asked to lend someone a huge amount of money?

No, I was just thinking about it and was curious. I've been asked by two different relatives to lend them £100 - £150 on 2 separate occasions and I said no both times. I was given a lot of shit but it wasn't for anything important and they needed it because of their own terrible budgeting e.g. spending £400 a month in the pub.
I did lend somebody £200 once, I chased them twice after they missed the date they said they'd pay me back. When they eventually did, they made a comment about me ruining their budgets.

I have a relative who has lent somebody 4k before, I found it a bit crazy as the person had recently inherited 6k from a family death but then 2 months later needed money again.

I can honestly say the only person I would lend money to now, would be my parents or best friend. Both are good with money so it is likely to never happen, if it did it would be an emergency and I am certain I would get it back.

I expected many of the replies to say people would be happy lending thousands to somebody so I'm pleased I'm not alone in the fact that I wouldn't.

[OntheWaves40]

It very much depends on who and what percentage of my saving that would be.

[Winnerella]

No.
Luckily i learned this lesson young. At 16 i leant a friend 50 pounds for xmas shopping. A fortune to me then but id had a summer job. She didnt pay it back and got annoyed with me only the second time i asked. She sent her mother round to tell my mother to lay off. Luckily my mother didnt roll over and take the slapdown. She said how awful that fiona was borrowing money she cannot repay. Winnie worked hard for that money. Fiona must feel so bad. That is why she is defensive. We understand.

Never saw the cash even tho my mum won the round.

Thankful i learnt that lesson so young.

[blue25]

No I wouldn’t.

[Saracen]

No. I would give it to them if I could afford it.

There are a very few people I would lend to, because I KNOW they would pay it back if they possibly could, and if they couldn't, I would feel it had been a gift worth making. All are relatives.

[Pixxie7]

Depends on who it was and what it was for.

[SionnachGlic]

To someone close that I trust, then Yes. To anyone else...No!

[SoupDragon]

Family, yes. Friends, no.

I've lent to both before.

[Justaboy]

Loan to my offspring but they have a remarkable habit of converting Loan to Gift ;(..

[Ontheboardwalk]

Swirlyceiling thanks for answering the question

I've not lent people money before unless I’ve been happy to give them the money outright. There’s really not a lot of people in that category

[NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite]

In the past I have given a lot more to a sibling when they fell on hard times. I can't imagine it happening now but I would loan money to siblings if necessary. None of them are irresponsible with money. It would depend on the situation really.

I wouldn't loan to friends or acquaintances.

[Babesinthewud]

The problem is - why do they need to lend the money in the first place?

My sister works hard but makes stupid decisions with money and is always borrowing from Peter to pay Paul.

She’ll be lucky to have £20 left at the end of the month but in the next breath she’ll get a contract with the latest iPhone for about £70 a month.

She’ll say how skint she is and I know she is, because she’s got no savings. If anything out of the ordinary happens she relies on others to lend her the money.

I could lend her it, but I won’t because I know she’s got no way of paying me back really. I also feel that she makes bad choices financially. I’ve got about over £20k in my savings account but I’ve not got the latest phone. I wouldn’t sign up to a £70 contact and I could afford to. That’s partly why I’ve got money and she hasn’t...

So no I wouldn’t lend it in the above situation but I would perhaps lend it in a different one.

[Scarby9]

I have done several times over recent years, and was paid back in full on each occasion. Both family and friends - all people I know very well and trust, and who turned out to be trustworthy.

Currently I am owed quite a lot by 3 different households (lockdown shopping and they don't do online banking) but I know they will pay me back as soon as they can.

I am in the very fortunate position of being able to afford to lend the money. I think I can only lend it, however, by being prepared for it not to be paid back - mentally counting it as a gift at the time of lending. That takes the stress out of it.

[babbi]

Probably not ... I lent a brother money to get out of a tight hole .
He subsequently went on 5 foreign holidays over the next 18 months ...
I was livid .. it caused some family hassle .. my other brother thought it was disgraceful that I was treated like that my dad thought I should “let it go “ ..
Finally got it back but never again will I lend him money ..

It’s made me wary about lending .

I should say if he was struggling I would have been happy to gift the money even though I’m not well off .. it was the piss take that angered me

[amusedbush]

I once borrowed £600 from a friend when I was in a tight spot but I paid it back in full two weeks later when I got paid. She offered and I was mortified but massively grateful. However, I knew that my intentions were 100% pure and the first thing I did when I woke up on pay day was send the money back. The issue is that you don't know the intentions of other people.

People can be funny with money and there are few people I could trust implicitly.

[Scarby9]

@babesinthewud asked why people needed the money. Apart from the lockdown shopping, which is a very specific situation, I have lent money to help buy a car after a friend's marriage broke down, the deposit for a holiday so we could make the booking, and to help buy a friend's ex husband out of her house. For the car, that friend could have bought it on finance, but the interest meant she would have really struggled to pay back in the time allowed.

[AllForAnEasyLife]

My mum is in this situation.

My dsis has asked our mum to lend her 10k. It’s a deposit for a bigger house but only wants to pay it back if my mum really needs it. She says she will re mortgage the house if my mum wanted it back.

However if my sisters circumstances change and she wasn’t eligible to re mortgage then my mum wouldn’t be able to get the money back.

She wants to help my dsis out but she’s worried about what happens if it can’t be repaid when requested as its money that has taken her many years to save.