Would you lend a large sum of money to somebody?

[Swirlyceiling]

As in 2 or 3 grand upwards.

To me, this is a lot of money. I think there is only 1 person I'd lend this to. 2 if they were absolutely desperate.

I've had to chase people for small sums or been left feeling awkward after I have done something kind to try and help somebody out of a tight spot, so I don't like lending people money any more. Not that I have lots to spare anyway.

Just wondering if anyone else feels this way or if I'm just tight?

[WhenPushComesToShove]

Never a lender or borrower be - so said my wise and wonderful Mum

[Winnerella]

lol, and Polonius to Laertes @WhenPushComesToShove

[Serin]

I would and have.
Only to close family though.
Once got asked for £10k by a school Mum who wanted it to emigrate to Australia.
Like I would ever have seen that again!

[Untrained]

Money (or the lack of!) has always been a big concern. I saw how worrying about money took its toll on my husband and in part led to his early death. When a friend (who helped me cope after he had died), found herself in a large amount of debt I wanted to help. I had the life insurance payment; it had paid off the mortgage and there was a little left over so I gave her that on the understanding it could be paid off little by little, no timescale, no interest, just that I would get the money back eventually. It now looks as though I won’t! Friend has moved and seems to have ghosted me. I feel very stupid and very hurt. An expensive lesson.

[WhenPushComesToShove]

@Winnerella 😂 - she did like her Shakespeare. Her other Shakespeare gem: 4" - Much Ado About Nothing, 6" - As You Like It, 8" - Midsummer Night's Dream. 😳😆

[SpilltheTea]

Nope, can't trust people when it comes to money. It rarely ends well.

[LadyofMisrule]

I've loaned money to family, always with the expectation that it wouldn't be returned. We earn more than them, and they needed it to get out of financial difficulty.

I loaned money to a friend once; she asked if I would convert it to a gift as she was really struggling, which I did.

Never loan anything you can't afford to lose.

[Noshowlomo]

No. I was asked to be a guarantor on a car loan 3 years back and said no, and I’m glad because she’s now jobless and a crack/coke addict. I did lend her £180 2 years ago as it would definitely be paid back next Friday... 3 months later we had it. Ruined friendship and she’s gone downhill massively due to some really bad choices.

[DawnAnn]

I would happily lend / give money to my parents and brother if they needed it. Other than that I wouldn't lend to anyone else. It may seem harsh but I increasingly find people to be selfish and untrustworthy. In fact the majority of people only seem to get in contact when they want something. I also believe that if I was ever desperate for help my so called friends and my extended family wouldn't bother themselves.

[dayslikethese1]

Close family yes if it was some kind of urgent need. Most ppl no. Ppl rarely pay you back I find plus they get Arsey when you ask for it.

[Guineapigbridge]

No, unless it was my parents.

[Toddlerteaplease]

My friend leant me some money as I was going to get a back loan. I pay him back by standing order each month. He offered it as a gift but I refused as it was too generous. He will occasionally give me the months payment back. I wish he wouldn't though!

[soundsystem]

Only to my sister.

[RantyAnty]

I only gift if I can afford to do it. I don't loan as I found out, I never get it back.

The funny thing is some people have zero issue with asking me for money but the 2 times I asked to borrow money they acted so terrible about it.

Once was 90 as I was waiting for a bank transfer to go into my account. It was 3 days late getting into my account and even though I apologised and explained in detail right away, this person hounded me by text day and night. for those 3 days. They sent me 6 texts a day reminding me I owed them 90. I paid them back as soon as my money showed up and I couldn't help but send about 10 texts telling them I had paid them back. :)

[Redorange42]

I dont lend money anymore and havent for a couple of years now. It's been too much hassle lending small amounts to people, nevermind a larger amount.

I would regularly lend money to a family member who would just take the piss. She had more money than me but would spend the last of her money on fags/lottery then ask to lend money as her baby didnt have any nappies. So I'd always feel bad and lend her it. She would always repay me late as well and I'd end up chasing her for it. I ended up putting my foot down and saying 'no more'. Its not surprising that she learnt to spend her money properly after that and prioritise her child when she didnt have the option of borrowing...

My OH lent £200 to a friend of his early last year. This friend has a history of not paying people back but my OH did it anyway because hes too nice and surprise surprise we havent seen a penny of that money back yet.. despite said friend being able to afford to go out drinking every weekend since (pre lockdown of course)

I think lending people money is just too much hassle most of the time. I dont think I'd do it again and definitely not a large sum like £2k!

[madcatladyforever]

i'd gift it if i could afford it but could not be bothered with a loan.

[Biker47]

All those that wouldn't lend because it would lead to a fallout, how do you keep a friendship if they know you have it and they are in desperate need.

Not that I have anything to give due to debts. But if I had money spare to lend out, the only person who would know about it would be my partner, no-one else needs to know the ins and outs of my savings or outgoings.

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

It would depend entirely on who wanted it, and for what.
In some cases I certainly would.
But having been stung in the past, mostly no way.

[FrugiFan]

I would lend it to my parents or my husbands parents. Anyone else, no way.

[HeronLanyon]

I have within family and for good reason (ie really needed and for an identified essential thing). Not however a loan. Gave it (and accepted) as a gift.
We agreed if ever there was an ability to pay it back fine but I didn’t expect that and would wish any money was spent on themselves rather than paying back a gift.
The only way it worked in recipient’s head was for it to be mentioned in their will (no offspring) which I guess makes some sense.
I have lent smaller amounts to a friend who said it was the single kindest thing anyone had done for him (he was in a bit of trouble). Haven’t had any back but I saw it as gift anyway so no hard feelings from me about it at all.
You’ll know your friend and can take a bit of a calculated guess as to whether they will pay it back and if not what that would mean for the friendship etc. Put anything in writing including amounts, repayment plan if there is one etc. Both of you sign it. Don’t leave this until later.
Good luck op.

[wink1970]

We lent DSS £50k and he's just about to pay it back (on schedule)

We lent DSD £2k for 'emergency bills' and she spent it on hair extensions and a holiday.

so, horses for courses.....

[Ardnassa]

Someone up thread asked would the friendship not be over anyway if you didn't lend them money?

It's a good question. For my part, I try to ensure that no-one knows how much I have stashed away, nor how much I earn. I am comfortable and earn well, but still live as frugally as possible. So hopefully the question should never arise or if it did, they would know so little about the state of my savings that they wouldn't try to probe too much into my refusal.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

I would only lend money at this scale to my siblings, because I wouldnt mind if they couldn't pay it back and I trust that it would be used sensibly.

But tbf no one in my family is so strugglig with money as to need a loan desperately, it would be something I would offer to save them paying interest on a bank loan etc or to bridge a timing gap.

[Boireannachlaidir]

No l wouldn't to anyone. But of course depends on circumstances.

[Boireannachlaidir]

I meant to add I wouldn't borrow it either