Would you lend a large sum of money to somebody?

[Swirlyceiling]

As in 2 or 3 grand upwards.

To me, this is a lot of money. I think there is only 1 person I'd lend this to. 2 if they were absolutely desperate.

I've had to chase people for small sums or been left feeling awkward after I have done something kind to try and help somebody out of a tight spot, so I don't like lending people money any more. Not that I have lots to spare anyway.

Just wondering if anyone else feels this way or if I'm just tight?

@MatildaTheCat

It taught me that once you’ve loaned or gifted money you cannot have a say on how it’s spent. They still owe us £10k but there is a signed agreement that we are repaid when they sell and I don’t doubt they will.
Was this agreement in the form of a lien?
https://hallellis.co.uk/lien/

They still owe us £10k but there is a signed agreement that we are repaid when they sell and I don’t doubt they will

If they never sell in your lifetime then it's lost.

Even if they do sell the amount they repay should reflect the increase in the value of the house partly because of your loan. I would be very annoyed if they only returned the £10k, in ten years or whatever it will be worth a lot less than it did originally.

I've lent money to good friends' absolutely no issue getting it back. I have borrowed money from a friend. She didn't want it back so when I could get something she needed for the same amount I got it for her.

I've lent money to a sister and had to fight to get it back. Absolutely no issues with my brothers.

So as far as I'm concerned if you are good friend I will lend you money with an agreement to pay it back. If you are male relation the same. If you are female relation I will only lend it to you if I can afford to lose it.

@AnotherCupple it depends on the amount though how much realistically are you willing to gift someone? I’m not sure that necessarily is the answer at least with a loan you will learn to budget. Also you would be grateful for the HELP.

not to mention that the friend or family member is a position that they can help you out in the first place

If I had it spare I would give it to a couple of people I know but in the knowledge I might not get it back

Only to my adult kids if they needed it desperately. Not for a holiday for example.
I'd hope to be able to give them the money rather than a loan and give exactly the same amount to the rest. I'm very conscious of favouritism in families.
I wouldn't lend to anyone else though and I have never borrowed money from anyone.

Only my brothers.

My mum lent £5000 to her sister- she didn't get it back.

Most I've loaned would be £50- didn't get that back either.

So nope I won't lend to most people.

Just also remembered my uncle lent £20,000 to a friend. The friend died suddenly...

I lent a large sum of money to a close relative and it has not been repaid yet.

We may lend BIL several thousand because it's better than him owing that in debt.

I've said that we should only do it if we're comfortable in potentially never seen it again, which is why the conversation is ongoing.

I'd lend to my parents and sibling for sure.

Absolutely not. Everything I've lent in the past I haven't got back. Thankfully it wasn't large amounts.

We've lent a 5-figure sum to my SIL and her husband as a cash flow problem stopped them from finishing work on a building project.

We're just praying that the Covid aftermath doesn't prevent them from selling the property, which has been valued at £1.2m.

If you were a banker wanker their -principles- are..

Lend someone 20 quid and its their problem..

Lend someone 2,000 and its Your problem!..

@Coffeecak3 Yes I agree. He should have insisted. When he has done work on the house it’s been done well but mostly when she’s away with the DC visiting family.

@Happynow001 I doubt our loan would be legally binding and didn’t specify how the money should be spent but they 100% knew it was to improve the house in ways that would improve the value of the property.

@mrsBtheparker If they don’t sell that’s fine. We might not accept the money anyway- we certainly wouldn’t charge interest. We just wanted to help them. And we did albeit not quite the way we planned!

Interestingly the other brother who contributed said to me at the start that he knew they might spend it elsewhere. He was more savvy than me. I know if the roles had been reversed I’d have eked out every last penny to improve the house. SIL has other priorities. I’m still very fond of her but don’t always get her

Family yes

Only one friend I’d give it too, she works damn hard as a single parent, does everything for her daughter and I wouldn’t leave her up shit street. If I got it back great if I didn’t I wouldn’t be too bothered as I’d happily gift it to her, I’d give her what i could spare probably about £3-4k

@LakieLady

We've lent a 5-figure sum to my SIL and her husband as a cash flow problem stopped them from finishing work on a building project.

We're just praying that the Covid aftermath doesn't prevent them from selling the property, which has been valued at £1.2m.

Wow hope you've drawn a legal document for return of the monies upon sale of the SIL's property. We loaned 6 figure sum to SIL/BIL, for the purchase of a property more suited to their needs, pending sale of their home. Given the property market at the time, they had the loan for a year which was difficult for us. They needed to move but would never have have been able to get a loan. We didn't want to fall out about money so we'd had everything drawn up legally with interest at !% above base bank rate, cheaper than anywhere. But had they not had a more valuable home to sell, we could not have afforded to make that loan. Have loaned to others but not been repaid.

If you can afford to lose it, okay. Always assume the worst, which is you won’t be paid back and you will potentially lose the friendship for various reasons related to the loan.

I would to my mum, brother, sister and one friend but not to anyone else. No way to my other brother who's hasn't worked for years, no matter how desperate he was, I would never see it again.

Depends on the person and the relationship. I lent a friend (as close as a sister £2k) and she paid me back religiously 250 a month as agreed. I had a crisis just before my wedding when a transfer went to an incorrect account and a mate leant me £2k and I paid it straight back as I got the money back from the bank. There are definitely circumstances when I wouldn’t though, each of these has been an out of the blue ‘OMG’ moment.
I’d hesitate if it was someone who I knew defaulted on loans and stuff

All those that wouldn't lend because it would lead to a fallout, how do you keep a friendship if they know you have it and they are in desperate need. I understand that it's not your responsibility to bail people out, but if I had a friend who was about to be evicted or have her utilities disconnected and I had the money just sitting in savings, then I would expect to lose the friendship anyway 🤷‍♀️.

Never lend money you cannot afford to literally set fire to.

I do lend money to people and I know I will get it back. But the one thing that is guaranteed to piss me off is if you are paying me back in dribs and drabs, whilst treating yourself to expensive wine, nights out, holidays etc...

If a close friend was about to have their utilities disconnected, and they couldn’t pay due to some unexpected disaster, then I would probably gift the money, but a sob story from someone who would most likely, soon after, post pictures of a fancy hair do or drinking cocktails in Marbella then no. Similarly the person who sneers that you have shabby clothes, while they only wear “designer”, but needs your savings to fund a shopping trip - then no as well.

I wouldn't. I got horribly ripped off by a friend. It started off with about to be evicted, couldn't pay council tax, just this once, just one more time. She pushed her luck too far and was clearly taking advantage of me being someone who can't bear to see people struggling. Here I am now a few years later without the friend or the money. I'd never lend anyone more than something like £50 ever again.