I hate his best friend's girlfriend

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Yesterday we met up with my DP's best friend and his girlfriend and I left feeling totally rubbish about myself (I always do after seeing her).

A quick disclaimer is that she is slim, beautiful, clever and very confident so I know a part of this is my own insecurity.

But I just don't like her, mostly because I get the impression she doesn't like me.

If we are together in a group, she usually ignores me - greets everyone but me or in the past has managed to almost turn her back so I'm left out of a conversation.

But one on one, lots of backhanded compliments come my way, said in a cheery way with a lovely smile.

Ie 'You're so lucky your fingers are so slim and dainty, I could never pull off such a small (engagement) ring'

'I wish I had the confidence to dress so casually, I just feel so much better about myself when I make an effort'

Just little digs that would make me look petty if I responded defensively and they always catch me off guard.

The chances are, we will be in each other's lives for the long haul.

Has anyone experienced this? Or found a way to not let it bother you / feel like water off a ducks back?

She's possibly the sort to go quite mental if you get aggressive with her or too confrontational in private and try to make you look like the rude/defensive/crazy one.

I wouldn't have the energy to combat that however wrong she is, at this stage in my life, but you may feel some of the suggestions on here may work for you.

These people do tend to hate it when they don't get the attention they're seeking, which is good news. It's a bit like Donald Trump - we could solve the problem of him overnight if we all unfollowed and the continuous news flow feeding his inner child abated.

I would either ignore her or reply "Hmmmm" at any remarks and then turn on your heels and walk away. Do not organise any couples meetings with her, just don't be available for them. If it is just the four of you and she says something you could repeat it and say: what do you mean by that?

Thanks everyone for the advice!

I'm not brave enough to confront her and I'd be worried she could twist so I would look like I was the one being unkind.

My approach will be to try and not react or give her a strange look and also try and work on my own confidence so I don't respond in such a flustered or 'beaten down' way.

Thank you again.

'You're so lucky your fingers are so slim and dainty, I could never pull off such a small (engagement) ring' – ‘I totally agree. A big garish, obnoxious, overpriced ring would look awful on my lovely dainty finger’

'I wish I had the confidence to dress so casually, I just feel so much better about myself when I make an effort' – ‘Well some of us can get away with it, some of us can’t. I am so very happy in my own skin and so lucky to feel so confident about who I am. I feel good about myself all the time.’
And.... walk away (flounce if you can) with a huge smile on your face!

I would distance myself from her. There is no reason why your fiancé and his best friend have to go out as couples. My late husband's best man and I had very little in common, so when my husband wanted to meet him it was usually just the two of them. I occasionally went along just to be polite but their friendship was between them. If he had a girlfriend, there would have been no reason why all four of us should go out together.

@Honeyroar @Nanny0gg you both made me snort with laughter... genius!

I posted recently about a similiar situation (offender was my partners sister) oddly enough some of the comments were very similiar..she started with stealthy backhanded compliments always in same vein eg 'do you wear makeup?' 'You dont? Ah well it doesnt suit everyone anyway'. Stuff like that. Id be careful being the bigger person and ignoring as in my case that just frustrated her and she upped her game massively until comments became so ridiculous i called her out on it and she 'cried for three days' . I was painted as the bully.
I agree with the poster who suggested getting her to repeat what she's said ....wish id done that!

There is a woman that I work with who is always making nasty comments about people or making unnecessary digs. When she says things to me I have a few stock answers which tend to put a stop to her gallop.

1. "What?" (as if I haven't heard her, so she has to repeat what she has said). Then I usually nod and say "ok" or "oh". I usually then carry on with my work, or if it is at lunchtime I start playing on my phone to illustrate that I am not interested in this line of chit chat.

1. If she's making comments about something that is none of her business then I just say "and?" This normally shuts her down immediately.

1. Or if she shifts it up a gear and makes a personal comment about what I'm wearing or my hair or something I normally look at her for a couple of seconds, say nothing at all, and then just go back to talking to whoever I was originally talking to or I carry on with my work.

These short answers or no answer at all usually end up with her shutting the fuck up.

If she is being horrible about someone else I just tell her that I like that person and I'm not interested in hearing it.