To be scared of my neighbours

[LauraPip]

I’m sorry if this makes no sense I’ve been awake all night with anxiety.
I suffer from general anxiety disorder anyway so anything different and I can’t cope.
Basically my next door neighbours, who I have lived next to for a year with just polite head nods, had a huge garden party yesterday with people that don’t live there. They were extremely loud, music blasting, screaming shouting swearing etc. I was sat on my patio at around 8pm when one of the visitors told me to stop staring at her so I went inside.
An hour later the police attended, broke the party up and warned them all about how it’s breaking the law to have people over etc, guests left and police left.
Almost instantly the woman who lives next door starting screaming at the top of her lungs that whoever called the police Is a c... that she was fuming etc the screaming went on for a long time and she then started directing it towards us
She called us a pair of fat c... and that she knew it was me (it wasn’t) and that she’s going to call the nspcc and rspca to get my children and dogs taken away(??) and that she owns her house and we rent it so she can do what she wants. My husband leaned out to ask her to quiet we’ve got children sleeping but she just went completely off on one and her husband was now shaking and kicking the fence telling us to effing watch our backs etc
Screams back for a bit and then went to bed I assume
My husband couldn’t sleep for hours he was watching outside every 5 minutes and I was sick several times and haven’t had 5 minutes
I don’t know what to do? Should I call the police? And report last night?
It was super intimidating and out gardens are so close I’m too scared to let my children play outside and my dog outside now
Thanks for reading

What a horrible position to be in. No wonder you were rattled. Hopefully, things may be calmer today. They were probably drunk and emotional last night. Are there other immediate neighbours? If so, it could have been anyone. I hope you’re OK

That’s awful. She sounds demented! Yes I’d definitely report to the police. Definitely - how dare they speak to you that way! Also ask the police to inform them that it wasn’t you who reported them. Try not to let them intimidate you.
Also one benefit is that you’re renting - you can always move!

Our street is a quiet cul de sac with lots of neighbours so wouldn’t be only us at all
Can someone just call the nspcc or rspca on you? Surely that will put a mark on my name? Which scares me as I work for the nhs and need a CRB check to work :(

Move

laurapip - sorry, but your anxiety is coming into play there. Try to think rationally. Do you really think someone who, after being reported to the police for a having a big, loud party during a pandemic is going to report their neighbour to the NSPCC/rspca when they will already have a mark against them (and it’s probably not the first incident where the police have been involved with her/them judging by their behaviour).

What would they report you for? And if they did, what do you think the outcome would be? Try to calm down.

I would laugh in her face if she were my neighbour.

Of course you call the police. A CRB will not show up random reports to charities.

We can’t move yet as our lease is until August and it’s not exactly easy to find a house that allows a Labrador :(

@Bleepbloopblarp 100% know my anxiety catastrophises everything you’re right! She said she was going to report me because I’m fat and my animal and child are starving thin (they aren’t) but I am fat

Yes, anyone can call the nspcc or RSPCA about you. However such a call would not result in your children or pets being removed. Nor a mark against your name that shows up on DBS checks.

These organisations are used to receiving petty revenge type notifications mixed in with the truly sad accurate ones.

Depending what's reported the rspca might make contact to check the veracity of the claims. But immediately it would be shown to be made up bollocks. Nspcc might share a report with as. Who again would make contact.

More likely she wakes up hungover and doesn't make the calls

Could you go round this morning, maybe they’d been drinking so not reasonable last night but might be now and try and reason with her, tell her it wasn’t you that called the police?

They had definitely been drinking. I would like to say I could try and go over but I know that I physically won’t be able to. I just don’t think I could do it

As hard as it is, I would wait and see what today brings. Sounds to me that she was drunk as a skunk and went off on one because of that. If you've lived next door for a year with no previous issues, this is likely a one off.

How horrible, I would report it. Also think about a security camera perhaps. Pretty sure you will have witnesses in the other neighbours.

Don't go to theirs to reason, they should be coming to yours to apologise. Go out into the garden and continue with life. If they start threatening/abusing you again then report it as threatening behaviour.
They were drunk and idiots, not you.

Wait until they are in their garden today or tomorrow sobered up.

Calmly tell her assertively that you were not the ones to have called the police. Say that you would have appreciated swarming to a party of that level considering the level of noise they generated.

Then say that their behaviour and abuse afterwards was totally unacceptable and you were tempted to call the police yourself at this point. Finish by saying that if it happens again and they make threats, you will call the police. In the meantime, you suggest you both forget about the incident and move on.

She has no grounds to call the RSPCA or to report you for neglecting your children.. It also makes no difference to your rights whether you rent or own your house unless you were the ones who were engaging in illegal or anti social behaviour as that could be reported to your landlord. As it was her that was being anti social and breaking the law the police quite rightly got involved. I would not ask the police to confirm it wasn't you and you did nothing wrong. She sounds awful so I would not engage with her at all. I think your size has led to a lack of self confidence. Next time someone asks you to move off your own patio don't do it. You have to stand up to bullies.

What a horrible situation. It sounds as though she was trying to think of the worst possible things to say to you. I suggest ignoring them. If they confront you, repeat that you didn’t call the police and walk away if possible.

How horrible. Please do report this, and tell the police exactly what she said so that there is a record of it.

How dare their guests intimidate you so that you feel you have to go back inside! How dare they shout at you and insult you!

for you. They sound like utter scum. I hope you find a new place to live in the next few months, Labrador and all!

@dontdisturbmenow that’s exactly what I want to happen so I’m hoping it can

I know I should report the incident but I’m just worried it will make things much worse

Yes, police

Move

🙄

If she calls the nspcc or rspca and reports you for being 'fat' they'll think she's unhinges.

Might be worth reporting her to the police though as there's a chance they'll go round and talk to her.

Could you go round this morning, maybe they’d been drinking so not reasonable last night but might be now and try and reason with her, tell her it wasn’t you that called the police?

So fucking what if OP had called the police on a law breaking disturbance?

You definitely need to report this.

It’s anti social behaviour and if it were to repeat she could end up with an ASBO.

One thing I would say is that it was likely an alcohol fuelled explosion after weeks of lent up anger like we all have and she may well regret it today but tough shit, she was unreasonable and abusive.