To be scared of my neighbours

[LauraPip]

I’m sorry if this makes no sense I’ve been awake all night with anxiety.
I suffer from general anxiety disorder anyway so anything different and I can’t cope.
Basically my next door neighbours, who I have lived next to for a year with just polite head nods, had a huge garden party yesterday with people that don’t live there. They were extremely loud, music blasting, screaming shouting swearing etc. I was sat on my patio at around 8pm when one of the visitors told me to stop staring at her so I went inside.
An hour later the police attended, broke the party up and warned them all about how it’s breaking the law to have people over etc, guests left and police left.
Almost instantly the woman who lives next door starting screaming at the top of her lungs that whoever called the police Is a c... that she was fuming etc the screaming went on for a long time and she then started directing it towards us
She called us a pair of fat c... and that she knew it was me (it wasn’t) and that she’s going to call the nspcc and rspca to get my children and dogs taken away(??) and that she owns her house and we rent it so she can do what she wants. My husband leaned out to ask her to quiet we’ve got children sleeping but she just went completely off on one and her husband was now shaking and kicking the fence telling us to effing watch our backs etc
Screams back for a bit and then went to bed I assume
My husband couldn’t sleep for hours he was watching outside every 5 minutes and I was sick several times and haven’t had 5 minutes
I don’t know what to do? Should I call the police? And report last night?
It was super intimidating and out gardens are so close I’m too scared to let my children play outside and my dog outside now
Thanks for reading

You can't hide from them. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!.
They need to apologise.

Don't worry about being reported to NSPCC or RSPCA. They do get people reporting as "revenge" and they are aware of this. Our ndn (years ago) reported us to the RSPCA, they did come round to see us but were very nice and know a genuine case when they see one. So sorry you had to go through that, hope it was just drink (or worse) talking and they'll calm down and back off.

I completely agree about going round and having a conversation with them. If nothing else it puts the power back in your hands and shows them you are not scared of them without the potential of escalating things by immediately calling the police.

I would be calm, get them to agree with you on what happened last night 'it seems you think we called the police?' (They will be disarmed by your pleasantness). And then state what is and isn't acceptable. For example 'It is your decision to have a party, but it isnt ok to abuse and threaten neighbours'. Also things like 'we will presume you were drunk and regret what was said' and state what you want going forward 'we are willing to put this behind us. We want a peaceful living situation.

Just some ideas how to prevent escalation.

If you can't speak to your neighbour, put a note through their door.

Have your phone at the ready at all times so that, if they make further threats, you can record them.

If you do see or speak to them make sure you have your phone on to record it all.

Hey OP, it sounds like an awful situation. You have good advice here, to add to it, I'd suggest you make a note of what happened while it is still fresh in your memory. Keep it factual, not emotional, but do include that you were sick and could not sleep ie the factual details of the impact on you.

If anything comes of it (which I seriously doubt), this sort of evidence ("contemporaneous record") will be useful in addition to the police call out records to establish the veracity of your side of the story.

Bitches like THAT need bringing down a peg or two

I have one who yells ALL OF THE TIME inside or outside . F'king people are scum , simple as that .

@ChipsyChopsy

I second that

they sound like total trash

I have a ndn but one who plays (played) loud music in the garden as do my immediate neighbours with whom I had a very unpleasant argument last summer. This ndn but one played music out in the garden at 3pm, smells of wacky baccy. I put music on v loud for half an hour in the afternoon but went indoors as it was driving me mad.. A few days later the ndn asked me if I had complained to the council as the ndn but one had had a letter about noise and assuming it was me had asked him if he'd had one. I laughed and said you know what I would have done, and then I was told it went on till 3am. Were it not for the fact that I have 2' thick walls and couldn't hear it in the house I would have called the police. The person who made the report lives in a house that is sideways on to our properties and in direct line with the garden where the music was being played.

I think you should make a formal complaint to the LA, giving them the facts about noise and the harassment you have suffered as a result of being accused of calling the police, and also inform 101. Give them today to apologise. It is never acceptable to play loud music in the garden.

I'd go round today and explain you didn't call the police but the way they acted was horrific. I dont like the idea of rolling over and letting people treat you badly and not saying anything about it.

Someone called the RSPCA on us once for no reason. The lady had a good cuddle with our dog then went and told the woman off for wasting her time and told her what she has to deal with in a day and the animals she could have been helping instead of checking up on our perfectly happy well looked after dog.

I know it's your anxiety and your body is screaming for you to hide but you not going out into your garden will be taken by them as your hiding because you called the police.

Can you spend sometime this morning meditating and calming yourself and then head to your garden for lunchtime, its lovely weather and it will not do your mental health any good staying inside waiting for the confrontation.

I'd suggest you make a note of what happened while it is still fresh in your memory.

This. Keep a file to add to what the police already have.
Don't move. And never, ever, let some drunken bogan scare you off your patio. Your home is your territory, no matter what crap is going on next door. You feel intimidated now, but this will pass.

I disagree about them suddenly being contrite today. People like that don't suddenly do a U turn and become reasonable. They sound like complete scumbags and probably enjoy intimidating people and sadly, it's worked.

If nothing else I would definitely try and catch them in the garden today. Force yourself to be assertive and say "I just want to set the record straight, I did not call the police and I did not appreciate being screamed at last night" - then walk away, don't give them a chance to argue back.

I would just ignore them. They sound volatile. They were pissed up yesterday and this morning they are hungover. They are unlikely to call anyone. They have shown you who they are so ignore them. I would ring the police on them if you have any further trouble and it might be worth start a neighbour diary to record any incidents.

Have a good cry, it will release some stress
I think it's important to hold on to the fact that they don't have any special powers that you don't possess
You just choose not to behave like them
I think you are right to wait until you see them to say something
They are on the police radar now, they have more to fear than you do, idiots

I wish I had the confidence some of you have you’re amazing! Can someone socially distanc-y come over to help!
In all honesty I can’t make the first move of going and knocking on someone’s door with my anxiety but you’ve all inspired me to not hide and if I see them or they say anything I will simply state the facts and that’s it
I am also going to call 101 to make a log of it incase of any further problems
I just have so much problems with my mental health that my home is my safe space and it feels breached now

I absolutely would not be talking to them about it.
Does anyone think that people who behave like that when drunk magically turn into model citizens when they're sober?

Avoid and ignore. But ring the police straight away if they are abusive or threatening.

I’m sorry you feel safe in your home 💐

Hi back outside as soon as possible and stoke your claim to your garden, please don’t hide away In your house. These people sound like scummy arseholes, but you do need to show you can’t be intimidated into hiding in your house.
Take your phone out (in case you need to video them), and only engage to say as a PP had suggested, ‘sorry your party was broken up, it wasn’t me that called the police, but if you threaten me again or damage the property I will’.

If you EVER speak to me like that again

Op - DO NOT threaten them!!! I know of people like this (note I said "know OF!") and threatening them is like a red rag to a bull!!! They will storm towards you, looking for a fight.

I honestly think you should ask the Police to inform them that it wasn't you who reported them. I know you shouldn't have to but they simply will not believe you if you try to tell them yourself. They just won't... Trust me.
I know you don't want the Police involved again, but if Police themselves inform them that it wasn't you, why would the neighbours then continue to give you abuse?? They wouldn't. They'd have no reason to, and hopefully would feel pretty bloody foolish!!

I’d love to know who’s voting that you’re unreasonable for being shaken by a vile verbal attack and threats
Sorry this has happened this would make me very anxious and it’s a real shame you feel like your children can’t play outside. I’d report the abuse and threats to 101. Start a log.

I would tell the police about the threats, would also tell her to go ahead and report you to the nspcc, she sounds crazy. You haven’t done anything wrong, they are obviously just not nice people. We have people like this a few doors down, I’m please I’m not next door to them, they are loud and have people coming and going all day (drugs), the rest of the road is very quiet.

I wouldn't go round there, she will probably slam the door in your face. Also she might be all passive aggressive in the garden today, just ignore her.

Turn this onto a positive, you have three months to look for another home. Do not engage with them, do you want them as friends, I doubt it.

Report the threats last night to the Police and ignore the threats, if anything happens you can refer them to your Police report today.

Sadly dickheads have to live somewhere, unfortunately they have chosen to be next to you. So start looking for somewhere else at a leisurely pace and earn your landlord and the next tenants this is why you are movng.