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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared of my neighbours

176 replies

LauraPip · 25/05/2020 06:35

I’m sorry if this makes no sense I’ve been awake all night with anxiety.
I suffer from general anxiety disorder anyway so anything different and I can’t cope.
Basically my next door neighbours, who I have lived next to for a year with just polite head nods, had a huge garden party yesterday with people that don’t live there. They were extremely loud, music blasting, screaming shouting swearing etc. I was sat on my patio at around 8pm when one of the visitors told me to stop staring at her so I went inside.
An hour later the police attended, broke the party up and warned them all about how it’s breaking the law to have people over etc, guests left and police left.
Almost instantly the woman who lives next door starting screaming at the top of her lungs that whoever called the police Is a c... that she was fuming etc the screaming went on for a long time and she then started directing it towards us
She called us a pair of fat c... and that she knew it was me (it wasn’t) and that she’s going to call the nspcc and rspca to get my children and dogs taken away(??) and that she owns her house and we rent it so she can do what she wants. My husband leaned out to ask her to quiet we’ve got children sleeping but she just went completely off on one and her husband was now shaking and kicking the fence telling us to effing watch our backs etc
Screams back for a bit and then went to bed I assume
My husband couldn’t sleep for hours he was watching outside every 5 minutes and I was sick several times and haven’t had 5 minutes
I don’t know what to do? Should I call the police? And report last night?
It was super intimidating and out gardens are so close I’m too scared to let my children play outside and my dog outside now
Thanks for reading

OP posts:
bloodyhellsbellsx · 25/05/2020 12:27

Mrs Cummings is that you? 🤣🤣

bloodyhellsbellsx · 25/05/2020 12:28

Oh bugger the page skipped back and I posted on the wrong thread...apologies 🤣😂

Snaketime · 25/05/2020 12:45

I think the police are your friends here, that does sound like a threat to me. Make a note of everything antisocial they do and if you can get some sort of CCTV set up, one of those doorbell with camera's etc. Hopefully they are all mouth and no trousers.

Leicester5 · 25/05/2020 12:50

@bloodyhellsbellsx actually I did think my name wasn't Mrs Cummings Wink

Last time I checked.

julybaby32 · 25/05/2020 13:07

Report to police but possibly make it clear you are not asking the police to do anything about it unless the neighbour actually do anything else. Email and account of this to yourself and a few friends so that you have something date stamped. (Ask the friends not to delete it, of course!). I'm sad this is happening to you.

Haretodaygonetomorrow · 25/05/2020 13:17

You must keep using your garden - don’t allow these scumbags to stop you enjoying your home. Take a deep breath and get out there. If you see them, just blank them as though they don’t even exist. Write down anything they say to you/ at you, even if you don’t report it straight away.

Mittens030869 · 25/05/2020 13:18

I agree with PPs that you should report their behaviour to the police. It's definitely intimidation and not on.

pinkstar01 · 25/05/2020 13:20

I would 100% call 101 and log it with them. That is completely unacceptable behavior from them, doesn't matter if they were drunk or not! How is that an excuse?!
They made you feel afraid and intimated and no one needs that in their own home.

Cherrysoup · 25/05/2020 13:21

Report threat of violence to 101 so at least there’s a record.

pumpkinbump · 25/05/2020 13:21

I haven't read all of this but just incase boibe has mentioned it, check the gRden before letting the dog out in case they have thrown something over. You never know with people like this.

Report it all and keep a record. I would go out of my way to spend more time in the garden, show them you're not scared.

Don't engage in conversation.

pinkstar01 · 25/05/2020 13:22

And I wouldn't recommend engaging with them at all, you need to log it so that if they DO anything (unlikely) the police will have a record of their threats.

pinkstar01 · 25/05/2020 13:23

After your last update, please report them. The police need to know they are threatening you!

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 25/05/2020 13:28

Ok so now you need to tell the police.

Original poster
LauraPip · 25/05/2020 13:33

Thanks for all the replies I’m going to call 101 again, I’ve already updated them on last nights abuse but the horrible addition this morning has tipped me over the edge
Why couldn’t one of them have just said
Oh we were drunk forget about it
It’s the language
We will just have to deal with it in our own way won’t we? Then when I asked what he meant just being told
Fuck off
Sad
I’ve emailed my landlady to see if she or the previous tenants had issues with them

OP posts:
SionnachGlic · 25/05/2020 13:57

Tell the police that your neighbours have accused you of reporting their party & are now intimidating
Request that they contact them to confirm it was not either you or your husband & let you know when this is done as you are fearful of another encounter until it is done.

I take if from your post that up to this party you were on nodding terms without incident for the past year. I expect that once they know it was not your call that stopped their fun, they will leave it alone. Have no more to do with them other than go back to polite nodding in future.

Don't allow them to intimidate you & your family. Report any further intimidation or threats but don't engage & exchange views on their party or behaviour...no point with these types as it can turn into 'both at fault' in the eyes of the law if it escalates into an argument..

If things don't improve over next few weeks, move at the end of your lease. Horrible neighbours can make life hell.

JRUIN · 25/05/2020 14:16

How awful for you OP. I agree with others, your neighbours already have one recent black mark against them-and I wouldn't be surprised if there's been many more in the past- and have now threatened you twice so report, report, report. If you are otherwise happy in your house please don't move because of these scumbags, the law is on your side and as hard as it must feel you must not let the bullies win. Good luck Flowers

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 25/05/2020 14:17

Sounds like a right idiot - thinking it is acceptable saying "fuck off" to a woman. Shows their level.
Awful for you OP, but am glad you are getting the police involved. You cant win by being nice to lowlifes like they sound

Rathersexyfortysomethingblonde · 25/05/2020 14:22

Op I completely understand how you feel, I’m like that too- worry nonstop.
I would probably go there and try to talk to them- I’m like that.

Once I was driving in our narrow street and my NDN was driving opposite me and I could not avoid him so he had to reverse out the whole street ( not a long street btw)
I got so anxious about it that I went there later to apologise that I made him reverse out! My friend could not understand what I’m like that!

Henio · 25/05/2020 14:25

I would personally log it with the police but just tell them you don't want them to go round and speak to your neighbours you'd just like them to have the incident on file in case anything happens again. Try not to let it get to you too much, I know its difficult especially if you have anxiety

jackdawdawn · 25/05/2020 14:27

@LauraPip. We pay a lot for the police service and they are there to protect people. Lockdown is stressful enough without brutes like this getting drunk and trying to intimidate you. Contact the police and report both exchanges, word for word. Also your landlord to ask about possible CCTV. They sound like monsters, every sympathy to you.

What about your neighbours, surely they must have been angered that people were just flagrantly flouting lockdown? Strength in numbers, always.

SummerMeadows20 · 25/05/2020 14:45

God, I have bad anxiety too OP and your post has made me feel so anxious.

Absolute vile pieces of scum. You sound like such a lovely person, they’re utter chavs and it’s just awful how they’re treating you.

I would invest in a Ring Doorbell and cameras in the next few days. They’re really handy to have and you can take them with you when you do move. They alert you on your phone when there’s someone in your drive/ garden and you can see and hear everything really clearly. You can also speak through the doorbell too. They capture everything and are really good.

And in all honesty, I’d be asking the police to pay them a visit. They’ve threatened you, twice. What utter, utter C U *

Big hugs. I know it’s scary but with proper cameras and a police presence you’ll be fine. I’m afraid I absolutely would be moving in August though

1forAll74 · 25/05/2020 14:46

They sound like utterly low brow people,who will lash out with nasty comments and threats when drinking. If they are normally threatening and intimidating, then you are entitled to report them. The police are very used to dealing with idiots and trouble makers.

LST · 25/05/2020 15:00

They're twats. I'm sure they're all talk, but I'd definitely report them

LindainLockdown · 25/05/2020 15:22

Sorry you are having to deal with living next to such trash. I would not speak or engage with them in any way now, but keep a written report of all incidents and do try and keep living your lives as normally as you can (much easier said than done I know).

Original poster
LauraPip · 25/05/2020 15:38

Thanks everyone
Every thing they do or say I’m going to report but I feel really scared and on edge now and there was just something in that threat that is making me dread to think what it means
I work for the nhs and spend my entire life working to be kind and make people feel safe and secure and it’s really shaken me to feel unsafe in my own home Sad I was even considering going to live at MILs caravan in her garden 😂

OP posts: