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AIBU?

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Original poster

Family member invited me for a picnic then asked me to provide the food, CF or not?

205 replies

BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 09:49

A member of my family has been looking forward to restrictions being loosened so we could meet up and they could see the children. They invited us (me and the children) for a socially distanced picnic.

They then asked me to provide the food "you can sort the food can't you"

Getting the children ready for days out and leaving the house takes forever as it is and I find that stressful enough, this person doesn't have children so doesn't appreciate that.

Am I being a spoil sport or are they a CF?

OP posts:
hula008 · 22/05/2020 09:50

Surely you will both bring your own food if it's a socially distanced picnic?

Helenluvsrob · 22/05/2020 09:50

Surely they mean being your own food ? Sharing food and social distancing don’t mix

Sparklyring · 22/05/2020 09:50

I assume you would each take your own food?

FergusSingsTheBlues · 22/05/2020 09:50

Well if you’re socially distancing, you shouldn’t be sharing food so......there’s your excuse

Bridgeofpies · 22/05/2020 09:50

Well technically you shouldn’t be meeting at all. I think we can only meet one-on-one, not a whole family. And I guess you should each bring your own food. Definitely don’t sit close enough to share!

If I was invited for a picnic I would assume I would bring my own food anyway.

Nottherealslimshady · 22/05/2020 09:50

Well you both need to bring your own food. You've still got to stay 2m away from them.

Windyatthebeach · 22/05/2020 09:51

Cfers! Just say that doesn't sound applicable to the guidelines sorry..

zscaler · 22/05/2020 09:53

If she means ‘sort your own food’ then she’s not being a cf - that’s sensible for a socially distanced picnic. If she means ‘sort my food too’ then she is being a cf.

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 09:54

I was under the impression we would be catering for our own households and was taken aback when she assumed I would be providing all of the food.

I have called this morning and said I'm not able to cater for her household aswell, citing government guidelines meaning we can't share food anyway.

I fully intend to stay 2m apart and have already reminder her that it's not possible to kiss/hug the children.

I don't particularly want to go in the first place but feel slightly obliged as she has been quite lonely.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 09:56

She definitely expected me to sort the food for everybody, both ours and hers.

OP posts:
UnfinishedSymphon · 22/05/2020 10:08

You know she's going to end up eating your food op, did she respond when you said you're catering for your family only? If not I'd definitely send her a text along the lines of "just to clarify, I'm bringing food for me, Dave and the kids only" otherwise I reckon you'll be sharing

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 10:09

I called her and said as much, she has now said she'll sort hers so that's fine.

It just annoys me sometimes how alot of expectation is put on me when it comes to meeting up/making plans and It's quite difficult with young children.

OP posts:
Yugi · 22/05/2020 10:10

Apart from the social distancing issue, my first question would be “ what are you bringing then?”

WorraLiberty · 22/05/2020 10:11

You should've just said in the first place, everyone can bring their own packed lunch.

mummmy2017 · 22/05/2020 10:11

If your going feed the children before hand, bigger breakfast, and snack on the way.
Make personal sandwiches pack of crisps and small drink.
That way there is nothing they can ask to share.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 22/05/2020 10:20

Why would she expect you to bring the food for both families? How bizarre Shock no wonder she is lonely if that is her usual way. People keep away (even virtually) from entitled people

babycakes1010 · 22/05/2020 10:22

She's taking the piss

Chloemol · 22/05/2020 10:23

If you don’t want to go then don’t. You are breaking guidelines anyway as it’s meeting one other person from another household, not one and her kids. ( assumed this as you said household implying more than one person) and if there are kids are they really not going to get together?

Lulooo · 22/05/2020 10:24

I think it matters who the relative is. If it was my sister, sister-in-law, cousin etc I'd retort with 'I thought you invited us?' or say we bring our own due to social distancing.

If it was my mum, who'd asked for a picnic after not seeing grandchildren for so long, I'd do all the food prep myself. I wouldn't expect her to cater for my kids just because she wants to see them. She's 64, so not that old, but I prefer to help her out as much as possible and she cooks for us regularly anyway so me taking the food for a picnic that is mostly my own family is no biggie.

Booboostwo · 22/05/2020 10:27

Anyone who expects their guests to cater for them as well is a CF regardless of whether the guests have DCs. If you invite someone for a meal you either provide the meal or you all contribute to the meal. Reminds me of my aunt who used to invite people to her holiday home and ask them to bring food...enough to feed her as well.

Fedup21 · 22/05/2020 10:30

She is taking the piss-I probably wouldn’t go.

awesomeaircraft · 22/05/2020 10:32

Food for just your side = fine.

Food for both sides = CF.

You can always say no to either the food request or the picnic.

AnnofPeeves · 22/05/2020 10:33

Tell her you've read the lockdown rules and she is isn't allowed to meet you (true) so you're going to have to cancel.

crustycrab · 22/05/2020 10:35

You've cited government guidelines but are only following some of them? Confused

Orchidflower1 · 22/05/2020 10:37

You’re not allowed to take the dc to meet your one person so it’s a moot point anyway.

Take a sandwich for yourself and meet (2m away) just the two of you. If she hasn’t got anything it’s not your fault. Leave the dc at home with dad or if you’re single then just cancel.