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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family member invited me for a picnic then asked me to provide the food, CF or not?

205 replies

BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 09:49

A member of my family has been looking forward to restrictions being loosened so we could meet up and they could see the children. They invited us (me and the children) for a socially distanced picnic.

They then asked me to provide the food "you can sort the food can't you"

Getting the children ready for days out and leaving the house takes forever as it is and I find that stressful enough, this person doesn't have children so doesn't appreciate that.

Am I being a spoil sport or are they a CF?

OP posts:
SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 22/05/2020 12:52

What will have changed in a week?

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:52

@SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito "dementors" brilliant Grin Grin

OP posts:
Delatron · 22/05/2020 12:53

But they should bring their own food!

Crinkle77 · 22/05/2020 12:54

I don't have children but I understand how difficult it is getting out of the house. Don't tar all us childless people the same. She is clearly just a CF.

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:55

Some children have remained in school throughout, more of them (one of mine included) will be returning on 1st June.

Whilst there he is not expected to maintain social distancing because he is 2. The government are happy for him to mix with 15 other households, but god forbid he see his grandma and great aunt for an hour from the safety of his pram.

There will be no drastic changes in the space of a week.

It's like when the restrictions loosened.. you can go and play sports outside BUT NOT UNTIL WEDNESDAY Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:56

Fair point crinkle, it's definitely not the case for all folk without children.

OP posts:
Solina · 22/05/2020 12:57

Honestly if the two households have maintained social distancing then if there is any risk of them passing the virus to each other it is minimal. Can't get bothered about this scenario especially if you are still planning on socially distancing during the meeting. One on one has just the same risk imo in this situation. Not that I am personally meeting even with one other person as we are overly cautious in this household.

Heiderose · 22/05/2020 12:59

Since government guidelines say you can have picnics now how is it breaking the guidelines if your household & another household both set up picnics 2 metres apart & chat to each other?

crustycrab · 22/05/2020 13:02

Oh god. And there's the fake "I have only just heard of the term dementors! Brilliant" 😂

Obtuse and transparent. 1/10

crimsonlake · 22/05/2020 13:03

' I didn't expect it to descend into a slanging match about social distancing.'
That is the problem, you cannot see you are doing something wrong and are in the wrong.
We all miss family and friends, but it seems some people are prepared to bend the rules to suit themselves.
Good luck, I hope your family can avoid the temptation to get too close to the pram to see your little ones.

Krong · 22/05/2020 13:03

What is wrong with people on here....

The UK has the worst numbers for deaths in Europe and it's still continuing at a worrying level and yet everyone has a million reasons and excuses for going against the rules. What a joke.

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 13:04

If it makes a blind bit of difference to those who are enraged it is thought that we've already had the virus. My son was "diagnosed" by a clinician from NHS111 in early April, two weeks after I came down with something which left me unable to taste anything. We quarantined as a household.

No we weren't tested but we're as sure as can be, as we're NHS111, that it was covid.

DH is a manager in a busy supermarket and it is very likely that we got it from him (asymptomatic) so supermarkets are absolutely not safer than meeting relatives from 2m away.

I shouldn't need to include that information but as people are convinced we are going to catch/pass it on...

OP posts:
SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 22/05/2020 13:04

This is interesting.

Family member invited me for a picnic then asked me to provide the food, CF or not?
SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 22/05/2020 13:05

So is this.

Family member invited me for a picnic then asked me to provide the food, CF or not?
Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 13:05

@crustycrab It is. I don't tend to spend my days on threads lambasting people for seeing their relatives.

Sarcastic and factually incorrect 1/10

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 22/05/2020 13:06

if the other 2 i was meeting were older, maybe shielded, then they may not have all the stuff for a picnic in the fridge. And if they knew you generally would, i can see why they suggested bringing a few more sarnies for them (though if your kids are 1 and 2, maybe you wouldn't be making sarnies for you 3, i have no idea what kids that age eat!)

I really would not think my mum was a CF if she suggested i bring sandwiches to a meet up, and would never tell her "bring your own you cheeky F!"

(ignoring the whole lock down rules)

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 13:09

There is absolutely no risk to myself or them by us meeting in a wide open space and staying 2+ metres apart.

Don't be so ridiculous.

If we were going to embrace that would be a different story. We have already discussed and agreed that there will be no physical contact or breaching of the 2m radius.

Save your rage for the government who have monumentally fucked up, leave other people alone.

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 22/05/2020 13:12

Sticking to the catering...

Generally when you are making food for children you know what they like etc. Making a bit extra is not a big deal. If I was meeting my parents for a picnic (in previous times) I'd bring the food as I'd know what my kids would eat and then add extra.
I might ask them to bring something sweet.

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 13:12

Can you not see the hypocrisy. I can.

You can sit 2m away from another family in the park who you don't know personally, but not your own family.

Ridiculous.

Anyway have a nice day. I'm going for my picnic.

OP posts:
Iwillhavetea · 22/05/2020 13:16

Depends if they think it's easier for you to sort food for your kiddies and they are the spare person who will eat anything.

I'd personally chip in and say if you bring the kids some sandwiches I'll bring some cakes and crisps etc. But without knowing this person I can't say if they are cheeky or not.

roxfox · 22/05/2020 13:16

Everyone who keeps saying it's against the rules... shut up!! OP already knows and is taking precautions so just relax. She asked for advice on sandwiches not the government guidelines ffs.

highmarkingsnowbile · 22/05/2020 13:17

If you're the family doormat, please use this as a time to get more assertive. She was cheeky AF to expect you to sort all the food, but what's telling is you even had to ask if she was being cheeky. Duh. Start learning how to put boundaries in place to stop people taking advantage of you. Ignore the dementors.

JinglingHellsBells · 22/05/2020 13:17

Sorry @BlueBlueandPink but it's people like you who are not helping to get the R rate down.

You are not allowed a family picnic.

Do you not realise why?

You are breaking the rules.

Even if you stay 2 mtrs apart- which is unlikely to work with small kids- it is NOT allowed.

Why do you think you are so special that your needs trump the health of 66 million people in the UK?

I am in my 60s.
My Mum is 93 and 300 miles away.
I'd love to see her as I've not met her since before lockdown.
I, like others, are sucking this up.

You seem to think that YOUR rules are right when they are not.

If your DH works in a supermarket you could be a carrier now.

Can'd believe you are outraged at the outraged.

I am sick to death of seeing people breaking lockdown which means we all suffer more in the long run.

Even if no one you are with catches it, your behaviour sets and example to other people who will do the same or a bit more.....and bend the rules a little bit more.....

JinglingHellsBells · 22/05/2020 13:19

Can you not see the hypocrisy. I can.

Can you you not obey rules even if you do not agree with them?

rosecreakybex · 22/05/2020 13:20

It's so funny when someone posts "I've linked to the guidelines for you" or "do you know the rules?"

You'd have to have been living under a rock to not know rules. OP doesn't need to be told the rules like she's 5 years old.

Reminds me of that annoying kid at school who'd say "ummmmmmmm" and go running to the teacher.

So boring now