Family member invited me for a picnic then asked me to provide the food, CF or not?

[BlueBlueAndPink]

A member of my family has been looking forward to restrictions being loosened so we could meet up and they could see the children. They invited us (me and the children) for a socially distanced picnic.

They then asked me to provide the food "you can sort the food can't you"

Getting the children ready for days out and leaving the house takes forever as it is and I find that stressful enough, this person doesn't have children so doesn't appreciate that.

Am I being a spoil sport or are they a CF?

There’s a book called The Tipping Point which lays out the theory (roughly) that once you have broken one small rule or law it becomes progressively easier to break the next one and the next one. No criminal starts out as an armed robber - it starts with shoplifting and pinching change from your mums purse, having broken those taboos it’s easier to steal a schoolmates lunch money, then beat them up for it, then mug strangers etc etc.

The same with breaking lockdown - you agree to break the rules and meet more than one person for a socially distanced picnic. Your aunt was ready to then break another rule and eat food you’ve prepared. What’s the betting that as soon as you meet in the park a few more rules go out the window? The 2m becomes 1m? A child eats some chocolate your aunt sneaks her? A child falls over and your aunt (perfectly understandably) rushes over to pick her up and cuddle her better? Then another child is jealous and also wants a cuddle?

You are going against your own good judgement in attending this picnic at all because you know deep down that this will not end with everyone socially distancing. If I were you I’d text my aunt and tell her you’ve had second thoughts. Don’t let her push you into something you aren’t comfortable with.

@JinglingHellsBells I actually can't follow rules I don't agree with. I'd never really thought of it before but I definitely can't 😏

It also sets an example to other people.

It will be very clear that this group is not one family living in one house, by the number of adults and children.

So other people will see it as 'okay'. And do the same but worse.

I really do not understand some people's mentality.
They will applaud the NHS, criticise the government and be outraged at the number of deaths but think they can be an exception to guidance as they are a special case.

It will be impossible to keep a young child 2 mtrs away for any length of time.

You will share food and it will be passed around in plastic containers of cling film, which can house the virus for 3 days at least.

The whole thing is unworkable and anyone with any sense sees that.

Your aunt out to know better and so should you.

@rosecreakybex It's a typo- it's a double negative. I'm bashing this out at work.

Last post.

Why can you sit in the park and have a picnic 2m away from a family you don't know, but you can't have one sitting 2m away from two members of your own family.

Because you might have physical contact? But what if you've already agreed not to?

If you remove the risk of physical contact which is the dangerous part, what risk is there?

Why is one example selfish and dangerous and the other not?

Given that the government advice is littered with contradiction, sooner or later people will begin to make their own risk assessments.

Do you think the government officials are all keeping 2m apart after the daily briefings? I doubt it.

Those back to work in offices, keeping 2m distance without fail? I doubt that too.

I already know that my DH's colleagues can't always keep the 2m distance, that's probably how we got the virus in the first place.

I however am prepared to keep 2m distance between my household and my aunt's.

Good day.

I am a born again father - forgive the pun! This is my second time around as I am so a grandfather. First time around we/I (mother ran off leaving children with me) just had other children around with no problems but now it seems half my children's friends have intolerances/allergies. So in a roundabout way I am saying everybody should bring their own!

And again for those who missed it..

My children are staying in the pram

Now bash me for that..

It's still not allowed to meet more than one other person, even if outside.
But as for the food I'd always bring some - it wouldn't occur to me not to.

It will be very clear that this group is not one family living in one house, by the number of adults and children.

But what if there were 2 completely unrelated families having a picnic 2 metres apart from each other - would they be breaking the rules? We had a picnic in a local park on Wednesday just to get away from the house, there were a few groups picnicking but everyone was keeping their distance - did we break the rules?

OP has said she's going to keep her distance, there'll be no interactions so I don't see how she's doing anything different from me or others, it just happens to be she's related to a couple of people she's sitting near

Spot on, OP.

I’m with you on the immense stress of getting a picnic AND kids ready to leave the house!!

Everyone who keeps saying it's against the rules... shut up!!

I have to say, this really made me laugh. Yep, that's exactly how internet chat forums should work

Have a fun picnic. It's very windy today so hold on tight to your sandwiches.

In these scenarios, there are no hosts. If you meet outside in a public space, there are just 2 people meeting up and if they eat or drink they only have what they brought with them.

So there is no 'host should provide' etc. Things are different now.

She means you'll need to bring your own food as you shouldn't be sharing

This is what happens when you ask members of the public to use their “common sense.”

I think that we all have to remember we are part of an experiment in a way . Most governments and even scientists have not had to deal with such a contagious virus before . Everyone is still learning .

So the first stage of coming out of lockdown was small steps . The economy and work of course is vital because there will be even more damage to MH if thousands have no roof over their heads or food in the table . It’s not about putting economy over lives or visa versa they are intrinsically linked . No tax or ni coming in = no NHS

So even though people claim not to see the logic in the rules ( personally I think it’s quite clear that there is a difference between family and strangers and the interaction) they are there to see how it goes . If things get worse again then we will be back to lockdown.

We have been given more freedom than many other countries and also again today financial support has been extended , but still there are 10000 people in hospital with the virus . So if we are all abiding by the rules you have to wonder how they got it?

Just to say one other thing . I know someone who died at 40 of the virus within 3 days of symptoms and I understand the grieving process must be horrendous at this time , but they have had outside family members coming and going into a house where they know they have had the virus . Putting more people at risk .

The government can not take into account things like that happening .

@UnfinishedSymphon

But you did not want to talk with the group next to you did you?

So you made doubly sure you kept your distance .

I'm planning a socially distanced picnic with some friends for next week. Aware that this isn't technically allowed but apparently picnicking 2 metres away from strangers is...
anyway we'll both 100% be bringing our own food.

Who is going to the park and having a picnic 2 metres away from another family? Surely if it’s that crowded, you would move on somewhere else. Even before social distancing, I would never set up that close to anyone 🙄

I can't visualise this scene where other strangers are having picnics 2m from you.
Surely they'd be in a circle all facing each other, so the closest stranger 2m away would have their back to you?

A family member talking to you in a circle would be facing you, probably leaning in when speaking to avoid shouting and that's how it passes. Sone one 2 meters away with their back to you is far less risky.
Unless suddenly we are not being British and all just sharing spaces with strangers in a different way than normal?

You don’t always talk to complete strangers in parks though. You do talk to family members and when you talk you tend to spit. Sorry tmi, but true apparently.

It’s about risk assessment. We know the virus is spread much less outdoors.
People sat outside in the fresh air and not touching cutlery/food is very low risk.

We are having a picnic with a family next week. They have all had the virus (doctor so had test). We will sit apart. My risk assessment says this is fine.

My Yr6 will be at school with very little social distancing in about a week. I think the government made a mistake not giving us a timeline in friends and family visits. Especially when other countries are opening up much more and allowing groups of 10+ to get together. I’m aware we are behind them but I think they should have addressed this issue.

By the end of next week in Scotland the exact scenario the OP describes will be permitted, even in a private garden. In England already people are allowed to go outside and sit for a while, as long as they are at least two metres away from people in other households.

So all the cries of 'you are killing people, OP, you are taking a MASSIVE risk' are ridiculous.

@Delatron

Of course if you have had the test your risk assesment is much more likely to be correct .

As far as a timeline for increasing seeing family members I think this first step was an experiment to see how it affects figures plus time to get a track and trace system tested.

But if people are blatantly ignoring the rules then the experiment might back fire . Who knows .

I think the government made one big mistake . Thinking people had common sense.

No picnics unless you can meet somewhere and keep distance. What a cheek expecting you to provide all the food! I don't see that as much of an invitation even in the best of times. Everyone bringing something to share, fair enough.

However we are not 'in the best of times' so, in your position, I would decline. What's the urgency anyway?