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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family member invited me for a picnic then asked me to provide the food, CF or not?

205 replies

BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 09:49

A member of my family has been looking forward to restrictions being loosened so we could meet up and they could see the children. They invited us (me and the children) for a socially distanced picnic.

They then asked me to provide the food "you can sort the food can't you"

Getting the children ready for days out and leaving the house takes forever as it is and I find that stressful enough, this person doesn't have children so doesn't appreciate that.

Am I being a spoil sport or are they a CF?

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:23

If groups of people are sitting in the town centre drinking with 5+ people with no repercussions then I don't think the police will care about about me meeting two relatives in a park.

It's hardly a house party or a mass gathering.

If you want to go another 2 months without seeing your family then you do you, I'm going.

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 22/05/2020 12:26

So because other people are doing it your going to do it too? Great attitude

heartsonacake · 22/05/2020 12:29

This is totally unacceptable, OP. You can meet one other person, not have a family gathering.

How selfish of you to put yourself, your family and others at risk.

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:29

Nope. I'm going primarily because I want to see my mother who is missing the children terribly.

She is used to seeing them twice a week, she hasn't seen them since March.

She is clinically depressed.

What other people do is on them, I've conducted my own risk assessment as have they and everybody is happy with the 2m distance.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:30

So by that logic it's unacceptable for children to return to school then, and you definitely shouldn't be going to work.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 22/05/2020 12:31

Ignore the dementors @BlueBlueAndPink, you’re doing the right thing.

rosecreakybex · 22/05/2020 12:32

I absolutely agree with you OP, you've done your own risk assessment - some people have given you a hard time on this thread. Especially with your mum's mental health issues. It's probably more risk to her health to not go at this point.

Go along and enjoy it but definitely don't take their food the cf!

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 22/05/2020 12:34

So it'll be my aunt and my mum from that household, then me and my two children from mine

Erm...... hate to break it to you, but no way is that allowed anyway!!
That's a small gathering, and it's only supposed to be one on one if you meet up, not the kids, the aunt, the mum........
You're likely to get fined.

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:36

You can shop among large numbers of strangers, you can work among large numbers of strangers, use public transport with others, children can return to school - including nursery children who won't be able to use social distancing, you can go outside for exercise among dozens of other people..

But you can't meet two relatives from another household in a park even if you have a clear discussion and agree about keeping 2m distance.

Well that's a bit ridiculous really isn't it.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:37

If I get fined then I'll gladly pay the fine. It's worth it to be able to see my mum.

OP posts:
heartsonacake · 22/05/2020 12:38

You’re being deliberately obtuse. You are not spending time with all these strangers you’re passing. You’re close to them for a very short time and not long enough to transmit corona.

Spending time with relatives and mixing households is a huge risk but it seems you’re willing to put your family at risk. Shame on you.

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:38

We'll be going to Crystal palace park and I'll be wearing a yellow sun dress. Feel free to report me and give my description Wink

OP posts:
IndecentFeminist · 22/05/2020 12:39

I agree with you OP.

And your mum and aunt are from the same household for all intents and purposes, not the end of the world.

crustycrab · 22/05/2020 12:39

You could see your mum all day every day and still follow the guidelines.

Suddenly everyone has turned into an absolute pansy who can't be apart from
their mother for more than a day without making dramas out of it

crustycrab · 22/05/2020 12:40

"You’re being deliberately obtuse"

Yes. Doubt this is real after the updates. It's designed to drag out so called "dementors".

Get a grip people

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 22/05/2020 12:41

If I get fined then I'll gladly pay the fine

Just seems strange that you're bothered about sticking to the guidelines when it comes to 2m rule, but not about the gathering in the park!
Can see you getting there and throwing that one out the window too.
Everybody else is in the same boat and haven't seen their parents for ages, then you get ones having a picnic with extended family (bringing aunt along too)
Can see lockdown happening for ages yet due to this kind of thing, and I'm not usually a "Dementor" about these things.
Does seem to be more and more people not giving a shit though and doing what they like/wilfully bending rules to suit them.

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:41

You’re being deliberately obtuse. You are not spending time with all these strangers you’re passing

Not true. People are spending in excess of half an hour in queues to get into my local Tesco, then once in the shop you'd be hard pressed to maintain the 2m distance the way people are manoeuvring the isles.

I'm able to enforce better social distancing meeting my relatives than I am when shopping.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:43

It is real. I didn't expect it to descend into a slanging match about social distancing.

OP posts:
LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 22/05/2020 12:43

OP... AIBU?
MN - YES

OP..... but but but but but whah no I'm not!......

Hmm Why ask lol
IndecentFeminist · 22/05/2020 12:45

Cause she was asking about the food @LemonadeAndDaisyChains. Nothing else.

Sciurus83 · 22/05/2020 12:45

Don't worry guys the rules don't apply to OP because reasons......

Delatron · 22/05/2020 12:45

I think it’s fine. Outdoors is low risk and you can social distance. The government guidelines don’t make sense from a scientific point of view and I think lots of people are doing their own risk assessment now anyway. Especially since the government did not address when we could see family and friends but it’s fine for kids to go back to school...

Original poster
BlueBlueAndPink · 22/05/2020 12:46

My OP wasn't about social distancing, it was about whether somebody was being a CF for inviting me and then expecting me to provide the food.

The OP has been resolved and I'm satisfied with my own risk assessment in regards to keeping the distance so I don't need to argue with folk on here about the morality of going.

OP posts:
SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 22/05/2020 12:49

Sounds good OP, enjoy your picnic. You might enjoy the anti-dementor threads in chat.

Expecto Patronum!!

Family member invited me for a picnic then asked me to provide the food, CF or not?
OldEvilOwl · 22/05/2020 12:51

But the kids aren't going back to school this weekend are they so why do you keep comparing it to that?