Sex noises ruining my afternoon tea

[OhMyDarling]

Firstly, I am no prude.
But......

Daughters and I enjoying a homemade cream tea and enjoying the garden I spent yesterday attacking into submission.

Cue next door neighbours sexmarathon.
Oh. My. God.

I am not even joking, she sounds like a horse and the sound is echoing down the street.

Just as we think it’s all over, they start up again.
We are now indoors with music playing to drown out the sound. Other neighbour is also playing music.

So much for enjoying the day, the sunshine and the birdsong.

Can I report them?! (Only half joking)

How can she not know how loud she is

You should start clapping when she's finished.

Do you live in a middle class area?

Go knock and ask when they’re due a shower/food break so you can go outside?! 😂

@Figgygal she doesn’t care.
Or she gets off on it maybe.

Give them a round of applause when they finish

I realised today that I make sex noises when I garden. Kind of female tennis playing grunting.

I would have shouted out that no one needs to hear them shagging.

Either that or start making horse noises to put them off

she sounds like a horse

Well she is a neighbour.

@Rosehip10 not really. It’s nice to live here but it’s not hugely affluent.

I'm struggling to think what horse noises sound like but I can imagine it's very sexy

Shout up to the window “are you okay? You sound like you’re in pain”

I'd honestly shout 'Can youu shut up please, I've kids out here! '

Maybe she has two halves of coconut shell that she's clip clopping together

Performance sex is irritating. How much energy does she expend letting her neighbours know what she is up to.

If I was feeling very naughty I would be tempted to ring the doorbell several times and run away

@buzzswole no it’s definitely more a neighing. Maybe more a mooo at some points.

Well she is a neighbour

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😂

Just tell them. They won't know you can hear if you don't say.

We used to have neighbours who would literally scream. We just used to shout at them and tell them to shut up eventually. It's like being forced into a foursome through the wall. I don't want to be a voyeur, please don't make me.

How funny. Your afternoon tea idea sounds brill and has made me jealous

If it makes you feel any better, I think very vocal sex noises often mean the sex isn't actually very good and the vocal woman is trying to boost her partner's ego.

@TerrifiedandWorried they know.

Is her name Winnie??

Happy VE day