Sex noises ruining my afternoon tea

[OhMyDarling]

Firstly, I am no prude.
But......

Daughters and I enjoying a homemade cream tea and enjoying the garden I spent yesterday attacking into submission.

Cue next door neighbours sexmarathon.
Oh. My. God.

I am not even joking, she sounds like a horse and the sound is echoing down the street.

Just as we think it’s all over, they start up again.
We are now indoors with music playing to drown out the sound. Other neighbour is also playing music.

So much for enjoying the day, the sunshine and the birdsong.

Can I report them?! (Only half joking)

Her neighbour the other side informs me that she though it was more of a donkey sound being emitted between repeats of “Oh yes take me there” but we must have been indoors trying to cut our ears off by that point.
They’ve been out most of the weekend now (car gone from drive and windows all closed) so we had a peaceful day yesterday. Apparently lockdown is over for them. But that’s a different thread.

I was just wondering if this was my SIL, but then thought it can't be because she's been out most of the weekend

@AutumnDragon 🤣🤣🤣 what’s her name?!
Or what is the first letter at least?

Was meant a bit tongue in cheek. But more seriously you know some people are loud, it's perfectly normal and they shouldn't be shamed for it just because other people happen to be quieter. The presumption that it is deliberate, fake or some kind of performance sex to show off would be quite laughable if it wasn't so sad. I'd expect my neighbours to behave like adults not children and knock on to ask us to keep it down or if they feel awkward post an anonymous note through the door.

@ohmydarling N 😁 she's into performance everything so I can believe she's into performance sex😂

I agree that ruins afternoon tea to hear such goings on. Over-enthusiastic sex makes me spill my tea and plays havoc with my sponge fingers. You find yourself synchronising your dunks to the thrusting.

Not to mention that time I snapped my hobnob during a session of prolonged anal.

You could blast the the theme tune to Mr Ed.

or

Call the RSPCA and report him for abusing farmyard animals.

@AutumnDragon nope different person!

I would start mimicking them so they could hear me..... but my kids are older.

Please shout, "Did she come"?Brilliant thread!

How can I join the "it's impossible for some people to be quiet during sex" Brigade? Do you get a badge?

@VoluptuaSneezelips

Glad some of you mumsnetters are not my neighbours because if you started playing 1812 or some other song at mine and DH's loud sex on the rare occasion we get a child free house and don't have to suppress ourselves you would be getting some on full in return.

So you don’t want your own children to hear you having loud sex - but it’s ok for other people’s to hear it?