Who should pay?!

[Boatymcboatofftheboat]

The specifics of this are incredibly outing so changing a few of the details (hopefully it still makes sense! Please bear with me):

My friend has a boat she can no longer afford. I am interested in her boat, but not 100% sure I need one at this time. We had an agreement before lockdown that I would have 100% ownership of the boat for a trial period of 2 months (all of April and May). I would pay costs totalling 350£ a month for this period. In exchange I would have 100% use of the boat and my friend would not use it at all. Because of lockdown I am not able to use the boat, but I agreed to pay before this and a deal is a deal/I value my friendship so have paid for April and planned to pay for May. However my friend has mentioned several times that she has been using the boat during April.

DH thinks I would be crazy to pay for May as agreed since I have not used it and actually friend is using it which breaks our agreement/essentially means I am paying for her to use her own boat.

I am in two minds as I value her a friend and don’t want to be petty, and lockdown is not her fault obviously - but equally I’ve paid one month and I am rankled she has been using it.

YABU - pay for May as agreed
YANBU - you paid for one month already and that’s enough/don’t be a mug

Christ, this is nearly full circle to a mexican house thief now!!!

this is nearly full circle to a mexican house thief now!!!

Is that..is that something I can ride?

I KNEW it was a horse!

Okay this is sticky! In a “normal” situation you might have a get out/insurance cover on breach of contract (you can’t access what you’ve been promised) but it’s a friend and seems a lot more informal.

The only person you can sort this with is her. I’d put it to her you offered to pay two months for something, you haven’t received that for the first month, therefore you don’t believe it’s exactly fair to expect it for the second month.

If you value the friendship and have the means you might want to pay up for an easy life - but equally weight it up with how much she values your friendship if she expects you to pay for nothing.

Personally I wouldn’t pay for May and as a friend would fully expect her to appreciate the April payment. That seems fairest to everyone involved.

Haha yes but what would people have written in the OP as a serious substitute so as not to be rumbled? What would a more believable substitute than boat have been? Tractor? Dog? Paddling pool?
Nothing should be changed about this thread, it’s perfect!
A horse loan isn’t outing they go on all the time so many others must have disrupted by lockdown.

Dangerous, jumpy and difficult wouldn't put me off, they seem to be my usual criteria. But anything with soundness issues (rather than injury) causing box rest and regular treatment would need to have a pretty special reason for me to buy it. Either amazing schoolmaster, talent or sympathy buy. Full livery and normal upkeep are peanuts compared to uninsured vet bills for ongoing conditions.

I love this thread! No idea what you can do about the panda, but your friend seems happy to keep sailing it. Don’t pay for May.

For the love of all that is holy, do not get involved with a green, stroppy (When not ridden for a while), arthritic panda-horse. It will be a bamboo money pit. Green and arthritic sounds dangerous to me: pain and lack of experience is not a good combo for a flight animal!

We are heading into difficult economic times. There will be lots of sound, genuine, stable panda-horses coming up for sale or loan later this year.

It’s unfair but perhaps you should pay the panda loan money.
The Chinese government your friend isn’t known for being reasonable.
When you buy the horse boat, do not even think about naming it Hong Kong.

@TrainspottingWelsh and @IneedFlour

Thank you for the advice: really appreciate the input! Will take on board (the boat).

No idea what you can do about the panda, but your friend seems happy to keep sailing it

HA. It’s so far past my bedtime but these comments are keeping me awake

Just going to leave this here...

I'm disappointed that it all played out before I got to say 'that boat has a tail!' 🐴

No idea what it was about your panda car boat story that made it SO obvious it was a panda-Horse but ‍🤷🏻‍♀️

I haven't laughed at a poster over a thread for ages, so thank you for that 👏🏻😊

Now down to the bamboo....

Your friend should have refunded you April (because HER Livery made it impossible for you to trial HER horse, you were paying to TRIAL it, not have ownership of it. Her riding it isn't the relevant part here, it's that you couldn't trial it in April.

You can't trial it in May either, but that's not her fault. However, you were only trialing it with a view to buying it, so she CANNOT expect you to pay to TRIAL a horse, that she's not sure she's going to sell!

You'd be a mug to pay May & she'd be a cow not to refund you April when you weren't allowed in the Yard. You were paying to TRIAL the horse and you Couldn't. Her livery fees are her cost!

I'm going to bed. Thank you for making me laugh out loud. LOVE the picture!

Well done @pandymchorseofftheboat
🤣🤣🤣

So pleased everyone enjoyed the frolics and japes. Had some pretty weird dreams last night off the back of this 😁

I have messaged friend.

Well done Boatymcpandaofftheboat I hope she's sensible about the whole thing.

I think your agreement might be legitimately reviewed for th boat/car as you can't see whether you drive it enough in the current circumstances. As she's carried on using it, it's reasonable to ask her whether she'd postpone the payment and the two month exclusivity period without you appearing to be cheeky. See what she says. It would appear unreasonable for her to say she still wants the money and to use it. Assess what she says then decide without the risk of being seen to be unreasonable. If she still wants the money and to use her car, you'll then see if she's unreasonable and decide whether it's worth paying the money to 'save' the friendship even if she's being unreasonable.

This thread has been the most bizarre one I have ever read on Mumsnet, haven’t been able to stop laughing.

However, on a serious note, you should definitely not pay for May. Hopefully she will agree when she responds to your message. If not, she isn’t a good friend and you know she doesn’t value your friendship. To be honest, it looks like you were actually doing her a massive favour, even considering taking on her horse, as it does sound pretty unsaleable.

Stop messing about OP. It's this isn't it?

Fuck that! If she doesn't sell then get your April money refunded and do not pay May!

@thejollygargler

No! I would never test drive a panda horse in that colour.

I think the crux of the issue, money and trial aside, is actually that my friend doesn’t know really if she wants this boat or not. She can’t afford the car but is emotionally attached to it. So she is torn and there will be a lot of flip flopping. PP made a good Point That likely to be many pandas available this year so best to hold off on buying a washing machine for now.

Do you not have a contract for the months you had him as effectively you were entering into a lease ? Your contract should then cover you especially with the terms of her no longer wanting to sell?

If you don't have a contract I would suggest discussing one and the terms of buying before paying any money for May. BHS has plenty of templates

I have a part loaner for my horse . Similar situation our yard locked down . I felt the morally right thing to do was not charge her for something she couldn't not access for a few months and she will re commence when lock down is over .

@mnhq please put this thread in Classics!

Bottom line imo is Dragon isn't available for agreed trial so no £££ needs exchanged.
End of.