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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who should pay?!

288 replies

Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:17

The specifics of this are incredibly outing so changing a few of the details (hopefully it still makes sense! Please bear with me):

My friend has a boat she can no longer afford. I am interested in her boat, but not 100% sure I need one at this time. We had an agreement before lockdown that I would have 100% ownership of the boat for a trial period of 2 months (all of April and May). I would pay costs totalling 350£ a month for this period. In exchange I would have 100% use of the boat and my friend would not use it at all. Because of lockdown I am not able to use the boat, but I agreed to pay before this and a deal is a deal/I value my friendship so have paid for April and planned to pay for May. However my friend has mentioned several times that she has been using the boat during April.

DH thinks I would be crazy to pay for May as agreed since I have not used it and actually friend is using it which breaks our agreement/essentially means I am paying for her to use her own boat.

I am in two minds as I value her a friend and don’t want to be petty, and lockdown is not her fault obviously - but equally I’ve paid one month and I am rankled she has been using it.

YABU - pay for May as agreed
YANBU - you paid for one month already and that’s enough/don’t be a mug

OP posts:
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Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:40

@WhiteVixen

It’s quite a hard one to substitute! But well done 😬

OP posts:
ToelessPobble · 25/04/2020 21:40

Well someone has to take care of the horse. A boat can be left unused whereas a horse needs to be exercised and cared for. Either take over it or don't, but don't make no effort to go and care for it and then make out like your friend is being sneaky in caring for it. If you don't want the horse tell your friend so she can sell or lease it to someone who genuinely does. For a horse I think you should actually pay when you have to said to your friend you might want to buy it and she has help off selling it.

zigaziga · 25/04/2020 21:41

Ah see I think that changes it a bit. Isn’t it a good thing that your friend is still visiting and riding her horse? Are stables looking after the horse?
Is she only riding the horse because she knows you aren’t?

bridgetreilly · 25/04/2020 21:41

I would say that the arrangement is postponed until after lockdown. She's obviously using the horse now and you can't, so she should be paying. But also, she can't really sell it either. So if you still want to, after lockdown is over, or at least is eased to the point where you could start using the horse, then you get one month that you've already paid for, free use, and another that you will pay for at that stage.

But you definitely don't need to pay for May. Just ring her and have a chat to explain.

Nottobesoldseparately · 25/04/2020 21:41

I guessed it was a horse.
As a horse still needs to be exercised etc, hence why your friend has been using it.

Tell her you will review your thoughts after lockdown, have the first month for free and pay the 2nd month.

Lockdown is no one's fault, least of all the poor horse.

donquixotedelamancha · 25/04/2020 21:41

I think if you are going to buy a boat you probably won't have much time for the horse. I'd just stick to the boat for now.

Honeyroar · 25/04/2020 21:41

Oh, a horse is different. You are allowed to ride, although a lot of people aren’t, as your exercise. Plus, if you actually owned the horse you’d still have pay for its care. It’s a difficult one. You need to have a chat with your friend. If you want to loan this horse in the future don’t burn your bridges by dropping her and not discussing it.

Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:42

@toelesspobble

The horse is on a full livery. No one needs to go and see the horse it’s completely looked after/mucked out/fed and turned out in the field. For the first 3 weeks of lockdown no one was even supposed to go there. Now they shifted slightly and let people so friend has been several times for a ride.

OP posts:
WhiteVixen · 25/04/2020 21:42

@Boatymcboatofftheboat

Do I win the horse?!

ToelessPobble · 25/04/2020 21:42

Talk about drip feeding faster than responses can be typed. If she is not selling you should not pay and she should return what has been paid. If you are buying you should pay.

Greysparkles · 25/04/2020 21:42

YABU for trying to hide its a horse.

I bet its not a horse.

It's a panda

jelly79 · 25/04/2020 21:42

You can't use it (whatever it is) during your trial period. Yet is still using it. And she may not decide to sell

What are you actually paying for??

Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:43

But also - of course she should ride the horse if she wants to ride the horse. No question. And I can’t and lockdown etc etc. That’s what I meant by I don’t want to be petty. But equally if she is riding horse and I am not, should she not pay for May?

OP posts:
Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:44

@Greysparkles

You caught me! 🐼

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Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:44

@ToelessPobble

Yes it’s my bad for not including that. It’s not that she definitely won’t sell but she said she thinks she is changing her mind and is now too attached to the horse.

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ToelessPobble · 25/04/2020 21:44

Selling things like cars, boats or horses to friends never goes well lol. As if they break down it causes problems. Fair enough if full livery and she is choosing to take advantage of riding when she doesn't have to she should pay.

ZombieFan · 25/04/2020 21:45

If she has used the horse then she has voided the verbal contract.

That aside I would also consider the virus reason to void the contract as it does not allow you to 'test drive' the horse, which was the original purpose of the deal.

The possibility that she wouldn't sell is also against the spirit of the agreement.

I think given the situation money for one month (half the time) is more than fair on your part.

Weregoingonanadventure · 25/04/2020 21:45

Dont pay any more money and ask her for your money back. If she doesnt give it to you then you know what sort of not-friend she is.

Although, if you had sole 'use' of the horse then you would also be fully responsible for feeding, care, mucking out etc. Have you been doing that? Or has she been doing it?
If she has been doing it then I guess you're paying her to look after 'your' horse?

It's all a bit of a mess. Either buy it or dont buy it. But dont do the rental thing anymore. Dont give her anymore money unless buying it.

Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:45

@WhiteVixen

It’s now a Panda (for now), you win that (for now)! 😂

What a colossal cock up

OP posts:
Coffeecak3 · 25/04/2020 21:45

Just tell her that rather than pay for May you will wait until after lockdown and pay for a new agreed month.
Don't ask, be breezy and matter of fact.

Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:46

Although, if you had sole 'use' of the horse then you would also be fully responsible for feeding, care, mucking out etc. Have you been doing that? Or has she been doing it?
If she has been doing it then I guess you're paying her to look after 'your' horse?

Full livery. Stables doing all of the above

OP posts:
Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:47

@donquixotedelamancha

Do I have time for the panda?

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 25/04/2020 21:47

The spring grass is coming through thick and fast. A lot of people are needing to exercise their horses. Laminitis is rife.

Do you actually want the horse still? You don’t really sound like you do. What would you want to happen?

Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:47

@Coffeecak3

When would you bring this up? Obviously May payment due within the week

OP posts:
Chesneyhawkes1 · 25/04/2020 21:47

I would ask to have another trial after lockdown.

£350 is incredibly cheap for full livery too!