Who should pay?!

[Boatymcboatofftheboat]

The specifics of this are incredibly outing so changing a few of the details (hopefully it still makes sense! Please bear with me):

My friend has a boat she can no longer afford. I am interested in her boat, but not 100% sure I need one at this time. We had an agreement before lockdown that I would have 100% ownership of the boat for a trial period of 2 months (all of April and May). I would pay costs totalling 350£ a month for this period. In exchange I would have 100% use of the boat and my friend would not use it at all. Because of lockdown I am not able to use the boat, but I agreed to pay before this and a deal is a deal/I value my friendship so have paid for April and planned to pay for May. However my friend has mentioned several times that she has been using the boat during April.

DH thinks I would be crazy to pay for May as agreed since I have not used it and actually friend is using it which breaks our agreement/essentially means I am paying for her to use her own boat.

I am in two minds as I value her a friend and don’t want to be petty, and lockdown is not her fault obviously - but equally I’ve paid one month and I am rankled she has been using it.

YABU - pay for May as agreed
YANBU - you paid for one month already and that’s enough/don’t be a mug

Most bizarre post in a while - I love it!

Is it the Dragon that was going to be the wedding transport gift?

@Boatymcboatofftheboat

That's clearly a panda car not a panda horse. What an odd mistake to make

That's clearly a panda car not a panda horse. What an odd mistake to make

Sorry - I’m a bit frazzled since discovering that it’s not an ice cream van time share painted like a tiger

Not to derail the thread but friend has agreed to what I’m saying. So far anyway. I feel bad because I think she’s displeased, but it’s honestly become quite confusing. There has been a lot of back and forth today about how she can’t afford horse so will eventually sell but doesn’t want to do perhaps we can share/try to time pregnancies and the like. It’s all very messy and too complicated I think.

All I really want is a panda who can cook.

Panda horse? Not a dragon boat? Massive disappointment here!

Hell no to a time share master chef dragon boat!

Hell no to a time share master chef dragon boat!

My thoughts exactly

Your 'friend' is a massive CF. You paid for the horse to have new shoes, a salt lick, a new headcollar, a summer coat AND livery for an entire month on the condition that you had exclusive use (full loan basis) but your friend has been riding the horse anyway?!

No, do not pay for May. She should be offering you to be able to ride the horse in May as you paid a full month's care for it including SHOES fgs but she;'s the one who's been riding it! I am speaking as a former horse owner, she is really taking the mickey. It's her horse, she's messing about, she can pay for it. And should be allowing you a few rides in May, thanks.

Forget about your friend’s horse. If you still want a horse when this is over, buy one from an independent source . Mixing friends and transactions like this rarely end well .

I think it’s about money for your friend, and your money was enabling her to keep the horse. Can she not put it on DIY or grass livery to save money and find a sharer?

Ps, my two horses have arthritis and the bills for supplements and pain killers just go up every year as they get older. I’d avoid it and get something without arthritis.

Admittedly haven’t RTFT and don’t know where you are, but £350 round here (SE) wouldn’t even begin to cover full livery. If the owner is still contributing to costs I wouldn’t begrudge them riding, particularly as they’re doing you a favour and keeping the horse ticking over for you. If however they’ve changed their mind and are now unsure about selling, I’d walk away and not pay another penny.

@butterywarning

350£ is not the actual
Amount. I edited it when I wanted people to think it was a boat! My friend is not contributing to the costs whatsoever, no.

A fucking boat is what you're worrying about right now? Hahahaha. Dear gods...

I haven’t enjoyed a thread so much for ages!

But I don’t think you should pay. I think your friend should give you your money back for April. I think she’s taken the piss riding the horse in that’s period. I think the whole agreement should have been cancelled when lockdown was announced in March actually, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

The horse also sounds like an absolute liability - it will be such a money pit in vets bills as you won’t be able to get insurance for the pre existing condition (and no, you won’t be able to take over the existing insurance!) and most likely will quickly become unrideable because of the arthritis. I bet you wouldn’t look twice at it if it wasn’t owned by your friend - don’t be swayed by sentimentality and spend your money on something better. If you want a green horse to bring on there’s plenty out there without existing health problems!

Pre existing conditions. No. Don’t go there. Even if it’s free. There will be 1000000s if very nice horses fir sale after lockdown ends. Buy one of those. Get it vetted and enjoy your hopefully trouble free purchase. They’re d or dive at the best of times and you don’t need to buy something with problems.

I've loved this thread! I do agree with PP that you shouldn't pay for your friends panda horse whether or not it's on a boat.
She should be refunding April especially as shes now saying she might not sell but if you are ok with her keeping that money I wouldnt kick up a fuss about it but you are right you shouldn't be paying for May.
If you actually bought the PHOAB (panda horse on a boat) your friend will probably be an pain in the arse about it and still treat it like her own or criticize any decisions you make about the PHOAB.
Its lovely that you want to try help her out but if you actually want a horse get one that you know doesn't already have preexisting health conditions and whose former owner is a complete stranger.

@Whataloadofshite

No! I’m
Worrying about paying monthly for a panda I can’t pay chess with. But I appreciate the attempt to belittle my problems because everyone else does have it worse currently.

@Mumto1andthetinybun @m00rfarm and @Isleepinahedgefund

You are all correcto. I think I will wait a few months until things even out a little with the world, and then have a look and see what else is out there. A lot of this is based in sentiment and I do think that my friend would still want to see the horse/maybe even ride it occasionally and I would feel obliged to agree to this. Agree the health issues will end up probably being too much as well. Friend says she has not been able to insure Panda Horse either.

BTW I do know someone who has a boat to sell if it's more appealing than a panda /horse /car/dragon right now...

I thought this was a horse from the OP but I'm mostly just here to gasp in envy at the idea of full livery for £350pcm. It's at least £550pcm round here.

Your friend should still be working the horse, or someone should anyway. Despite the BHS's advice, given the obesity crisis in leisure horses and the time of year, it's important to keep horses fit and healthy. I'm pretty sure the biosecurity consequences of exercising a horse sensibly and with suitable precautions are less than the consequences of treating and managing acute laminitis.

She should, however, not expect you to pay her livery fees when you can't ride her horse and she can!

@Windyatthebeach

I’m
Quite near the river, so tempting. Except that we haven’t established if a horse can go on a boat yet so I’m unsure as to how that would work.

I can’t keep repeating myself re the livery cost anymore, it’s going to send me to the funny farm

This is hilarious!
OP please try to excavate yourself from this as tactfully as possible while maintaining your friendship as it obviously means a lot to you, and you sound like a lovely friend indeed (even though we’ve sort of established that your friend is a CF and this thread a really about her CFery).
Reminds me of when I was 10 and I talked my brother into paying me for the privilege of cleaning my budgie out. Hats off to your friend though, wish I’d thought about someone paying me to not sail my pandahorse during lockdown.

I'm impressed Mexican holiday house made an appearance. What year was that? Remember it fondly