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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who should pay?!

288 replies

Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:17

The specifics of this are incredibly outing so changing a few of the details (hopefully it still makes sense! Please bear with me):

My friend has a boat she can no longer afford. I am interested in her boat, but not 100% sure I need one at this time. We had an agreement before lockdown that I would have 100% ownership of the boat for a trial period of 2 months (all of April and May). I would pay costs totalling 350£ a month for this period. In exchange I would have 100% use of the boat and my friend would not use it at all. Because of lockdown I am not able to use the boat, but I agreed to pay before this and a deal is a deal/I value my friendship so have paid for April and planned to pay for May. However my friend has mentioned several times that she has been using the boat during April.

DH thinks I would be crazy to pay for May as agreed since I have not used it and actually friend is using it which breaks our agreement/essentially means I am paying for her to use her own boat.

I am in two minds as I value her a friend and don’t want to be petty, and lockdown is not her fault obviously - but equally I’ve paid one month and I am rankled she has been using it.

YABU - pay for May as agreed
YANBU - you paid for one month already and that’s enough/don’t be a mug

OP posts:
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Curiosity101 · 25/04/2020 21:22

Why can't you go and collect it? If you need to use it for essential reasons then it doesn't seem unreasonable to go and collect it.

Ask her to leave it for 72hrs or whatever makes you feel comfortable and then go and collect it and bring it to your house.

Although is the issue that you don't need it now that we're under lockdown?

What was the £350 per month for? Was that just 'costs' or is that going to count toward the potential purchase price?

Pipandmum · 25/04/2020 21:22

Why is she using the boat?
Regardless as the lock down happened it would have been gracious on her part to defer the agreement. As she didn't and you paid she should not have used the boat (as it's not really hers to use, who's paying for insurance so is she even insured, and it's against lock down rules). I wouldn't pay anything more ubtil lock down is lifted and you are able to use the boat.

CorianderLord · 25/04/2020 21:23

Seems weird to pay per month and not just buy it. If you aren't using it then you shouldn't pay for it, as neither side of the agreement has been fulfilled

bluebeck · 25/04/2020 21:25

Eh? Is it a boat or a car? Or are we talking about two different things? Very confused.

Redlocks28 · 25/04/2020 21:26

What has the car got to do with the boat?

AristotleAteMyHamster · 25/04/2020 21:27

Does someone need to use the boat to make sure it keeps working? (Think you may have revealed what it actually is in your OP?)

If so, I wouldn’t be too annoyed. If she’s just using it because she wants to and / or it’s more convenient then that’s not really on.

beebeedandelion · 25/04/2020 21:28

I am interested in her boat, but not 100% sure I need one at this time

Do you ever need a boat unless you live on an island or remote area where a boat is quicker than a car?
Is it a car or a boat, it's not clear in your OP.

Arthur2shedsJackson · 25/04/2020 21:29

Where does the car come in?

HotCrossBungle · 25/04/2020 21:31

LTB!

Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:31

Sorry - car was a typo. It’s a boat. The 350£ a month are her monthly costs for the boat I agreed to cover whilst using it exclusively for the 2 months - they are in no way a contribution towards me buying it from her.

OP posts:
Lougle · 25/04/2020 21:32

It's a car. The OP changed it to boat, but then forgot and said car.

Why don't you go and get the car?

Lougle · 25/04/2020 21:33

X-post. Get her to send you the keys to the boat.

Haggisfish · 25/04/2020 21:34

I would ask her to go halves.

Reallymissthegym · 25/04/2020 21:34

Just say car so it makes more bloody sense!!

Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:35

Ok, I have to come clean here

I did not want to reveal this level of detail but, and I swear this isn’t a wind up, it’s a horse 🙈 I first typed car and DH suggested boat was a better replacement but I fucked up and didn’t change all the cars to boats.

Haven’t even had any wine!

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 25/04/2020 21:35

It's obviously a car, the op slipped up

PumpkinP · 25/04/2020 21:36
Confused
Honeyroar · 25/04/2020 21:36

Ask her if you can change the months to ones that you can actually use it once lockdown restrictions are lifted?

Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:38

@honeyroar

The other thing I should have mentioned in myOP is she is now saying she is thinking she doesn’t want to sell after all. So it’s a bit like...what is the point of the trial anyway?

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 25/04/2020 21:38

Dont pay. Dont buy stuff from friends. Just causes drama in your life

Nottherealslimshady · 25/04/2020 21:38

I cant believe she took the money when you cant collect it. But also, why cant you ride the horse during lockdown?

WhiteVixen · 25/04/2020 21:38

I was thinking it could be a horse while reading the OP. I’m never right about anything! Grin

WhiteVixen · 25/04/2020 21:39

If she’s now saying she doesn’t want to sell, then absolutely do not pay for May.

Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:40

@Nottherealslimshady

I’m in the vulnerable category and the stables has interpreted the BHS guidance In such a way that I shouldn’t be there.

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 25/04/2020 21:40

If shes your mate she would give you the money back too