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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who should pay?!

288 replies

Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:17

The specifics of this are incredibly outing so changing a few of the details (hopefully it still makes sense! Please bear with me):

My friend has a boat she can no longer afford. I am interested in her boat, but not 100% sure I need one at this time. We had an agreement before lockdown that I would have 100% ownership of the boat for a trial period of 2 months (all of April and May). I would pay costs totalling 350£ a month for this period. In exchange I would have 100% use of the boat and my friend would not use it at all. Because of lockdown I am not able to use the boat, but I agreed to pay before this and a deal is a deal/I value my friendship so have paid for April and planned to pay for May. However my friend has mentioned several times that she has been using the boat during April.

DH thinks I would be crazy to pay for May as agreed since I have not used it and actually friend is using it which breaks our agreement/essentially means I am paying for her to use her own boat.

I am in two minds as I value her a friend and don’t want to be petty, and lockdown is not her fault obviously - but equally I’ve paid one month and I am rankled she has been using it.

YABU - pay for May as agreed
YANBU - you paid for one month already and that’s enough/don’t be a mug

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Honeyroar · 25/04/2020 21:57

I think paying for April as a gesture and continuing after lockdown is more than reasonable. You really need to have a frank and honest chat. Tell her you’re still interested but need to do this trial at a time when you can try the horse properly. Is is a loan or loan with view to buy?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 25/04/2020 21:57

I would tell her that

  1. She voided the agreement when she rode the horse

  2. You can’t actually use the horse due to lockdown so clearly can’t do the trial anyway

  3. She can come back to you if and when she has decided as to whether she is keeping the horse or not, because you are not paying for a trial of something you are not ever going to have-that’s like test driving a Racing car and ending up with a Kia!

In other words no, do not pay her anymore money!

IAmReportingYouForBBQing · 25/04/2020 21:58

Op, if you were taking in total responsibility for a horse then by law you had an obligation to attend it's every daily need. So why exactly have you not done that?

donquixotedelamancha · 25/04/2020 21:58

YABVU! We will be providing a bamboo-removal service

You are the only one who is mug enough to pay your mate for a panda you can't even ride :-)

Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 21:59

Guessing the costs are what she would incur anyway, and nothing additional because you would be using it?

No, exactly, costs are exactly the same. I had actually bought a few bits and pieces (supplements, salt lick, nice head collar, summer sheet Etc as hers was broken) for the trial period which obviously very happy for her to keep as they are for the horse anyway. So she has a few bonus items too!

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Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 22:00

Op, if you were taking in total responsibility for a horse then by law you had an obligation to attend it's every daily need. So why exactly have you not done that?

This has been answered

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Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 22:00

Yeah, that missing typo makes an otherwise perfectly normal thread seem silly

😂

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Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 22:01

@Honeyroar

The plan was a 2 month trial (I suppose full loan?) and then yes, if all went well I would buy

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IAmReportingYouForBBQing · 25/04/2020 22:02

It was answered but if you are in England you still should have been exercising the horse. I don't know of any stables that fully shut down . What an odd arrangement.

Just buy your own horse and be done with it. At least then you get to chose the colour Grin

espressoontap · 25/04/2020 22:03

I've read the OP seven times thinking 'where the fuck does it say 'car'?!' Now I've RTFT and see it's been edited 😂

Don't pay, OP.

Nottherealslimshady · 25/04/2020 22:03

You definitely should not pay. Shes a terrible friend for even taking money knowing you couldn't go.

BunnytheHoneyBee · 25/04/2020 22:04

I've read the OP seven times thinking 'where the fuck does it say 'car'?!' Now I've RTFT and see it's been edited

Me too 🤣

MrsEricBana · 25/04/2020 22:04

Is this you OP?

Curiosity101 · 25/04/2020 22:05

Ok - this makes soooo much more sense now that you've clarified it's a horse. Horses have been my life since I was tiny so this is a lot easier to comment on now!

Effectively what we're talking about is a full loan trial of 2 months because your friend can no longer afford the horse?

  • Why haven't you been up to ride since the rules changed at the stables?
  • Did you clarify in advance that this would be a full loan? If you didn't then I can understand why the person is still riding. Even if it was 'implied' that the horse would be yours, you should definitely have a simple contract that details what the full loan trial period entails. For example - lets say you go up and ride and some of the equipment breaks (eg. saddle), are you liable for repairs or is the owner? You can find example loan contracts online that you can edit to fit your purposes.
  • If it were me I would drop a message over and say something along the lines of... "If you're not sure if you're going to sell or not then lets put the loan agreement to the side for now and we'll discuss it again post lock down? We should probably get something a little bit more official in place anyway because what if some of the tack got damaged whilst I was riding?"
Also make it clear you won't be paying for May.

Then hopefully you can pick this up with your friend after lockdown.

donquixotedelamancha · 25/04/2020 22:05

Just buy your own horse and be done with it. At least then you get to chose the colour

I don't think that's true if you choose the panda instead.

Palladin · 25/04/2020 22:06

Your friend should have returned the money for April. I'd ask her to rearrange the loan for a later time when it's actually feasible and of course only if she is still wanting to sell the horse at that point. Definitely don't pay for May!

Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 22:06

@MrsEricBana

Yes but in a crafty disguise. As crafty as my genius subterfuge in the OP

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Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 22:06

@IAmReportingYouForBBQing

I will try to find you the email sent out by the yard and you will see what it said!

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Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 22:07

@donquixotedelamancha

Apparently Homebase has reopened so a colour change for panda is only a paintbrush away

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Honeyroar · 25/04/2020 22:07

I’ve heard of quite a few full livery yards that have shut down actually.

But Boaty why couldn’t you go to the horse if the yard was open? Perhaps your friend thought you weren’t interested and if you weren’t going to ride she would, rather than leaving the horse doing nothing? From her point of view if you don’t decide to buy her horse she probably wants it fit and ready to advertise after lockdown..

Inthemuckheap · 25/04/2020 22:08

OK so you agreed to a two month trial of the boat/car/panda. Due to lockdown and you're in the vulnerable group, it wasn't possible to take this up in April, however livery have now loosened and owner has been up and ridden whilst you've paid for full livery?

Owner is a CF'er as should have cancelled loan for April and also for May as you can't trial the boat/car/panda during this time.

Owner now saying may not sell now?

Do not pay for May! If still interested after lockdown, get a contract for LWVTB and take it from there.

VanWinkle13 · 25/04/2020 22:08

If anyone gets the panda it's me!

Original poster
Boatymcboatofftheboat · 25/04/2020 22:11

This is why I did not initially go to the yard for the first 3 weeks, and then things seemed to relax a little but as I am in the vulnerable category and they had taken such a hard stance initially I felt best to continue not going.

Who should pay?!
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donquixotedelamancha · 25/04/2020 22:11

Apparently Homebase has reopened so a colour change for panda is only a paintbrush away

Oooh, paint it like a tiger. It won't get nicked when you park it and you will look cool.

Fruitsaladjelly · 25/04/2020 22:12

I knew it was a horse lol

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