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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend saying her (huge) bum is small

338 replies

h3av3n · 09/04/2020 19:13

AIBU to be getting irritated with this and be baffled? She is always saying this to me even though it's HUGE and mine is definitely smaller as she can see... and people always tell her it's big so surely she knows? But she will talk about how it's not big and she needs to start growing it etc (weight training) even though she literally gets comments on it on a regular basis. On one hand maybe she literally can't see how big it is, a lot of women are very critical of their bodies... but to actually say it's small and not big even though she's constantly getting comments on it?!
By the way this isn't a jealousy issue, it just baffles me why she is always saying this to me even though people always say it's big... also the fact mine is definitely smaller but she calls hers small and not big directly to me

OP posts:
EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 09/04/2020 19:43

@PhoneLock - I think I'd go for the tiny waist, or at least a smaller one!

isseywith4vampirecats · 09/04/2020 19:43

oh dear cant you tell the kids are not at school

Jellycatfox · 09/04/2020 19:44

What?

BlancheDuBlah · 09/04/2020 19:44

Those bum implants are so strange and give a weird fake shape. That Latesha from BB ages ago totally ruined her figure with them.

VettiyaIruken · 09/04/2020 19:44

Start agreeing with her.

HoffiCoffi13 · 09/04/2020 19:44

ILikeyourHairyHands to be fair I’ve got a fairly sizeable arse too so maybe I’m not doing too badly! I just thought I needed to lose the last stone of my baby weight Grin

ILikeyourHairyHands · 09/04/2020 19:44

Shapely bums have always been a 'thing' h3av, massive ones are a very recent trend.

AlexaCrowe · 09/04/2020 19:45

I’d just get a friend who can hold a more interesting conversation than her arse...

OVienna · 09/04/2020 19:46

I just read the op only.
And I think this should be in the Coronavirus section.

You ok, hun? We're here for you.

RingPiece · 09/04/2020 19:47

All your big-arsed friend is wanting from you is a, ''Small? Did I hear you correctly? Small? Your arse is so NOT small, it's HUGE. You have the most impressive arse out of all our friends.'' -And she wants this every five bloody minutes.

If you're willing to play her game, do, but your friendship sounds dull, childish and tiresome. Don't you have any other friends you could play with, friends that aren't so
bum-obsessed?

fishonabicycle · 09/04/2020 19:47

Young women go the the gym to increase the size of their bums! I know this and I am old! But yes - they should be curvy muscly bums, not big squelchy ones 😂

But honestly OP, who gives a fuck what she says or thinks? Just concentrate on how you look and feel.

HoffiCoffi13 · 09/04/2020 19:49

Regardless of what is considered attractive or not, surely, surely people have more important things to think about than what a friend thinks/says about her bum? Surely?

Srslydontgiveacrap · 09/04/2020 19:49

The big bum competition Confused

You both have massive arses, they block the sun

TooLittleTooLate80 · 09/04/2020 19:50

Maybe her OH likes small butts? And maybe he cannot lie?

Oh wait, wrong way round....

underneaththeash · 09/04/2020 19:50

I think it is a compliment for young women. My niece keeps posting bottom photos. I generally don't like them.

Trends change in my teens tall, buxom and muscly were in and then in my 20's later heroine-chic.

OP- it'll pass, but I'm not sure the muscly bum thing will completely go

I remember DD saying last summer, when I grow up I want to look like you and Auntie Helen (we're both 5'4", toned but normal size 10) but with less droopy boobs! We did explain that they get droopy after having children!

serialtester · 09/04/2020 19:54

Do you like big butts and you can not lie?

LandOfAThousandJumpers · 09/04/2020 19:54

Maybe she sees having a ‘thick’ / voluptuous figure as desirable and isn’t aware you regard her comments as boastful or self-flattering?

browzingss · 09/04/2020 19:55

@HoffiCoffi13 ah I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, so sorry! Genuinely didn’t intend to cause offence, but I can see how my post was offensive.

Just wrote that more in response to the posters that are bemused/confused that having a big bum is the current “desired” aesthetic. Just highlights how beauty aesthetics change, as far back as I can remember having big breasts (in comparison) has been completely eclipsed by big bums - it’s almost strange hearing how posters are shocked that anyone would want a big bum, because it’s mainstream amongst my age group/peers.

browzingss · 09/04/2020 19:56

I do think your friend might be fishing for compliments OP

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 09/04/2020 20:01

I'm surprised people are surprised too.

It's been bums over boobs for at least 10yrs now?

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 09/04/2020 20:03

I personally think Kim K liked Sir Mix o' lot as a teen and got a bit carried away with it

HoffiCoffi13 · 09/04/2020 20:03

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset I’ve spent my last 10 years either living abroad or having babies so must have passed me by. Plus MN is the only social media I use really 🤷🏻‍♀️. Anyway I now know that a big bum is what I should be aiming for, but I should never tell anyone I think my bum is small apparently!

roarfeckingroar · 09/04/2020 20:05

I'm 32 and feel very old. I don't know anyone who particularly wants a big bum.

Badtasteflump · 09/04/2020 20:06

I never knew anybody could, or would want to, 'grow' a bigger bum! That's clearly a talent I never knew I had

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 09/04/2020 20:08

Just be yourself HoffiCoffi13, It's far more attractive :)