Friend saying her (huge) bum is small

[h3av3n]

AIBU to be getting irritated with this and be baffled? She is always saying this to me even though it's HUGE and mine is definitely smaller as she can see... and people always tell her it's big so surely she knows? But she will talk about how it's not big and she needs to start growing it etc (weight training) even though she literally gets comments on it on a regular basis. On one hand maybe she literally can't see how big it is, a lot of women are very critical of their bodies... but to actually say it's small and not big even though she's constantly getting comments on it?!
By the way this isn't a jealousy issue, it just baffles me why she is always saying this to me even though people always say it's big... also the fact mine is definitely smaller but she calls hers small and not big directly to me

Men are saying it's big, as a compliment and actually the occasional woman if she's a friend, again as a compliment

@MaggieAndHopey.
I was doing Vicky Pollard from Little Britain 🤣

Maybe she just actually believes that. Everyone has a different opinion on sizes, some will think a 12 is small and to others it’s x dress sizes to big etc.

Is your mate Lauren Goodger?

She’s attention seeking, she wants you to say ‘your bum is great what are you talking about’. Next time just tell her to do some squats and hopefully it will get a bit bigger.

Blimey, I'm glad people aren't always commenting on my bum. I'd absolutely hate it.

As another young person (22) having a big bum (specifically with a tiny waist) is definitely a good thing. It has to look a certain way though, a toned/perky gym aesthetic is the current trend. However I remember big bums being the desired aesthetic since at least 2010 thanks to Kim k, j lo, Beyoncé etc. (The days of the massive/wide kardashian bum are over though.)

People Stewart's tell her it's big? She gets comments on it on a regular basis?? 🙄😳

There's definitely a difference between squat big and cellulite big. Which type of big is she aspiring to?

In my opinion having a small waist with wide/curvy hips and a nice bum is much more attractive than massive boobs. I don’t think massive boobs have ever been a “thing” in my lifetime

Oh God, I pressed YANBU. Ignore me. YABU to give any head-space to the size of your bottom or that of your friend.

On one hand maybe she literally can't see how big it is, a lot of women are very critical of their bodies... but to actually say it's small and not big even though she's constantly getting comments on it?!

This comment alone tells me you think she should be critical of her big bum, OP.

You never said ‘men’ in your OP, you said ‘people’. I’m guessing her so called friends are making her feel like shit and she’s seeking re-assurance.

Oops, posted too soon. Who the hell is commenting? Nobody has ever commented to me that my arse is big. What a rude part of the world you must live in.

Just smile and nod, then ignore her. There are more important things to focus on.

I couldn't be arsed to care.

No I don't think she should be critical of it...my point was maybe she can't see how big it is because a lot of women are critical of their bodies and can't see what others can see... but she must have an idea that it's big because people always tell her it is...

I can’t work out if you want a small or a big bum

I suppose it might depend on your demographic, but who would want a big bum?

Who wants to aspire to having a fat arse?

Your friend is both thick and deluded.

In my opinion having a small waist with wide/curvy hips and a nice bum is much more attractive than massive boobs. I don’t think massive boobs have ever been a “thing” in my lifetime

Surely everyone finds different things attractive? I have huge boobs, hate them and always have. Still not nice to hear people say ‘x is much more attractive than massive boobs’. Everyone is different. Haven’t thought about the attractiveness of my boobs for a while but your comment just made me feel a bit shit

How big are we talking? Can she get through doors? Does it make a handy pint-rest in the pub? Does it cause gravitational disturbances?

Enquiring minds wish to know.

Big bums have been considered attractive for quite a few years now, I didn't realise I should have mentioned that in the OP because I thought it was completely mainstream with different ages now for some reason so sorry for the confusion...

I wouldn't fret Hoffi, huge boobs will always have their admirers!

I get you OP.

She has a trait which is generally deemed as attractive now, is often told this in front of you, but insists on telling you hers isn’t good enough, knowing full well the size of her bum is probably more desireable to many than yours.

She is either suffering from body dysmorphia, or she’s attention seeking, fishing for compliments and happy to make you feel insecure.

You know her, so you’d be best to call which it is. If it’s the latter, just be aware she isn’t as much of a friend as you think she is.

For people who are baffled at the “bum” issue, OPs analogy about a slim friend constantly moaning about being chubby to an overweight friend fits.

Have you tried agreeing with her ?

I’m 35 a big bum has been considered sexy since I was started secondary school, so at least since 1996!