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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you don't have facebook?

194 replies

Rayn · 07/04/2020 23:36

Can I ask why? I have just deactivated my account for the first time in 12years.
For the first time ever I feel it is negatively affecting my mental health.
I am struggling at the moment like alot of others and fed up of seeing the same thing.
How wonderful people's children are home schooling, pictures of lovely walks. How perfect and how well they are coping.
Then on the other hand it's negative and repetitive. I appreciate alot of it will be Coronavirus but I seriously need a break.
Only just holding things together at home and feel like I am failing.

For those of you who have never used it then why not?
For those of you who did and no longer use it then why did you not go back.

Deactivated and removed the app from my phone. So easy just to click on FB to what's going on but sometimes seeing and knowing too much does not do me any good.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Holothane · 07/04/2020 23:38

Never been interested I just can’t be bothered.

flirtygirl · 07/04/2020 23:39

Used it for 3 months whilst living abroad 9 years ago, deactivated then. I hate the concept and from everything I've read since I would hate it even more now.

pinkrocker · 07/04/2020 23:44

@Rayn I'm feeling exactly the same.
I've been on it for 13 years and deactivated yesterday, too much information, too much misinformation, "share if you have stayed indoors today" type posts.
It feels like it's in your face all the time.
I lost my lovely OH in Dec last year, I'm trying to buy a house, our summer holidays have been cancelled, my hair is coming out, I can't sleep.
It's so stressful, everything in my face all the time and I need a break, I feel I'm failing my classes as a teacher and my own DC because I'm always connected to school on my laptop.
You're right. It feels odd not to be connected, but right now it's what I need.

ApplePie86 · 07/04/2020 23:46

I hate it but use mainly for business related groups rather than any social nonsense.

See these people posting about their perfect lives? These are also the ones who have marriage problems, swimming in debt, serious mental health issues and lots of other stuff. Facebook is highly narcissistic with many people wanting attention and "likes" for their amazing lives but it's never as it seems.

ClapForCats · 07/04/2020 23:46

Well, it's terribly boring, for one thing.

It also attracts people (mainly women) of the "Live, Laugh, Love" mentality, which is nauseating. There are an equal number of competitive posters, some of whom seem to have upset you, OP. They are almost certainly lying anyway, but still - soul-destroying.

The appalling spelling and grammar is horrifying.

A good many people (again, mostly women) who use it as a platform for MLM make it something to be avoided at all costs.

But really - it's the dullness which makes it so very unattractive.

Terminal dullness.

Thewomeninthemirror · 07/04/2020 23:48

I deactivated mine about 3 years ago, when I realised how bloody false it all is.
Everyone making out they have the perfect life/family/body/job and cash etc
The pictures of all the presents at Christmas astounded me.
The people having perfect holidays that post pictures every 10 minutes; if it’s so wonderful why on earth are you spending all your time on your phone and not enjoying it with who you are there with?!
How many people on the average persons friends list would they count as a true friend?

ClapForCats · 07/04/2020 23:49

I think I mean "banality" rather than "dullness."

safariboot · 07/04/2020 23:49

I quit (mostly) when I concluded the "news feed" is showing me what vested interests are paying for me to be shown.

Anthilda · 07/04/2020 23:49

I deleted mine about 10 years ago. Just pure determination never to go back to it has kept me away.

Dontrainonmyparade · 07/04/2020 23:50

Deactivated a couple of weeks ago for similar reasons. It wasn’t good for me and I was finding nothing fun or pleasurable about it.
I feel so much better for not having it in my life. It’s quite refreshing not to know what’s going on on SM. You realise how much you don’t need to know.

Thewomeninthemirror · 07/04/2020 23:50

On the other hand the rants or people airing their dirty laundry seemed so tragic.

QueenOfPain · 07/04/2020 23:50

Because it’s largely full of people with porridge for brains.

paperandfireworks · 07/04/2020 23:53

Deleted approx 4 years ago, in part because if the utter tripe, MLMs and falseness, but also for privacy and security.

In this day and age, there are still so, so, so many people putting narcissism before their personal security.

Sparklingbrook · 07/04/2020 23:53

Never been interested in it. All looks a bit tedious.

LilacTree1 · 07/04/2020 23:54

I’ve never had it

I’m in contact with the people I want to be in contact with

I would never share any info on a place where I’m the product

I just had no interest, no reason and couldn’t see the attraction.

The neighbours have a group, I’ve looked at it and it seems to report every time someone tries to even steal a car. Round here, it’s rough, so the flats page is just a slew of “depressing shit in more detail than you wanted”.

BetelgeuseIsOrionsArmpit · 07/04/2020 23:55

I stopped using my fb account back in January and only went back on recently due to a friend's DS being very ill and I wanted to offer some friendly support. I'm glad I'm not on there much at the moment though as I struggle enough with anxiety without having to deal with more doom & gloom on there.

Krieger · 07/04/2020 23:55

I have real life friends. Don't require virtual ones sending me crap and memes

SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 07/04/2020 23:55

I deleted all the arseholes/virtue signallers/MLM wankers/doom spreaders.

It's not an echo chamber, but I only have people on there now that I know well, or groups that actually make me laugh. I've just hidden everything else. I've got good mates though. Most people seem to be trying to post something happy. Either a good news story, or new online resource, or just a video of pets doing daft shit. I did have to cull a lot of the doom though, but I'm finding it quite a positive thing at the moment.

Same with Twitter. Anything too depressing just gets binned. You can filter any social media to get rid of the shit tbh. I follow lots of comedians, alongside the good news sources. Breaks up the doom

Insta - mostly just following awesome women 😁 🥰

Passthebubbly · 07/04/2020 23:55

I deactivated mine for a months break for the same reason. That was 18 months ago and I do not miss it in the slightest.

Want2beme · 07/04/2020 23:57

I would ask why use Facebook? I don't want to share my life with people in that way. I barely tell people IRL what's going on. I'm not interested in the minutiae of anyone's life.

Rayn · 08/04/2020 00:01

Done! You lovely people have inspired me.. more time for Mumsnet. 😁

OP posts:
Sweetbabycheezits · 08/04/2020 00:03

I haven't deactivated yet, but I took it off my phone yesterday, and I already feel better. I love it because I live away from my home country, so it's great to keep up with people, however, the misinformation, the politics, the endless sharing of utter tripe has put me off, and was making me really down. I hate feeling like I give a tiny shit about missing anything...i don't! It's just scrolling for the sake of it.

AgeLikeWine · 08/04/2020 00:04

I never bothered to join Facebook because it just doesn’t interest me in any way. It isn’t actually compulsory to sign up for these things.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 08/04/2020 00:08

Because I like my privacy, I don’t want all and sundry knowing any details of my life, I also have zero interest in anyone else’s life apart from the people I choose to actually interact with in the real world.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 08/04/2020 00:09

I deactivated mine yesterday. Got so sick of tag 5 women you think of as great mums and all that crap. How the hell do the non tagged people feel?? Crap, that's how Grin but also the 'no one will like this adorable picture of me because I am (fill in blank)'

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