If you don't have facebook?

[Rayn]

Can I ask why? I have just deactivated my account for the first time in 12years.
For the first time ever I feel it is negatively affecting my mental health.
I am struggling at the moment like alot of others and fed up of seeing the same thing.
How wonderful people's children are home schooling, pictures of lovely walks. How perfect and how well they are coping.
Then on the other hand it's negative and repetitive. I appreciate alot of it will be Coronavirus but I seriously need a break.
Only just holding things together at home and feel like I am failing.

For those of you who have never used it then why not?
For those of you who did and no longer use it then why did you not go back.

Deactivated and removed the app from my phone. So easy just to click on FB to what's going on but sometimes seeing and knowing too much does not do me any good.

Thoughts?

I like it to keep in touch when you are working and don't get a social life and I enjoy jokes and memes. Porridge brain or not, Humour is my vice so is some social contact with limitations..
I limit who and what I subscribe to and have a check in once or twice a week.
I do not understand the people who say it makes them feel inadequate with what others post. Jealously?

Never been on it. No interest in it. I'm obliged to communicate with enough people to not want to add to that. I suspect it would make me anxious so I avoid it completely.

I used it constantly, then got so sick of it six months ago. A 'friend' was so drahhhhmatttic about their break up and it was such bullshit. Pretending to be homeless when I KNEW several friends had offered him a bed. And I did not like the side of ne it brought out... I looked super calm, super sociable, perfect adoring kids...in reality, the last ten years of my life have been a horrible rollercoaster and one of my kids has had a really really tough adolescence. So my 'posturing' just irritated the hell out of me!!! I entered a new decade and decided I wanted to try to be an authentic person.

The BEST thing is that I have stated well in truly in touch with lovely 'real' friends, and shed 100 PEOPLE who were nice enough but not my friend. As I am a (seemingly very gregarious) definite introvert, shedding facebook has given me so much head space. It's nice!!!

I've never wanted it.

I haven't really seen it tbh just over someone's shoulder but I do know via dh that my sister puts photos of me and our dcs on even though I say every time she takes a photo not to put it on SM and she always claims she doesn't.

Pisses me off so much. I like my privacy.

I like mumsnet because it is anonymous.

And selfies are just so odd. I can't imagine 30 years ago someone showing you their photos and saying

Here's one of me, and here's another of me, and oh here's another of me with my dc, here's another of me.....

stayed not stated!!

Never used it and very uncomfortable with people sharing pictures of their children on all social media.

It's narcissists showing off..

@pinkrocker - I'm so sorry you're going through this with what you've been through recently! Hand hold x

I want to completely delete it, but have the long task of getting all my pictures off first. I've also used it as a sort of diary for the things the kids have done over the last 6 or so years. So I plan to write them all in a book with the date etc then delete them as I go.

My only problem is that I'm on two school class groups with all the other parents and find that that to be very informative! That's the only thing keeping me at the moment..

I never felt the need for it, I speak to all my friends regularly (even those living abroad) we use whatsapp. I don't really want to see others peoples drivel, (I understand it's not drivel to them and their friends but to me it would be) and definitely wouldn't want to see all the negativity on it
It can get frustrating enough on here sometimes so I just wouldn't want it.

My friends are slowly coming off it, most have been on it since it started but they are saying they waste so much time on it and a lot of what they are seeing is really just negativity. They don't want that or the rudeness in their lives.

One friend summed it up but saying "if he let someone in his living room and they behaved like that he would throw them out and remove them from his life, so effectively he has just thrown them all out and now will only let his true friends in"

I agree with a pp who said it really attracts the kind of "live life love" woman of a certain age who very obsessed with Prosecco.

I have it. However I need to use social media as a promotion tool for my work (I'm a freelancer). I use Twitter for work promotion (it's just fine the fine thing in my circles to say anything remotely personal on Twitter). I use Instagram to launch new images and promote. Interaction is a bit nicer here but again, never say anything remotely personal there.
I have fb but hardly post. I learnt long ago to scroll past all the shit. I mainly find its useful for groups these days - I have a local group chat on there connected to my industry, a local dog walk group, drama group for my son etc.

Anything personal about me these days that I want to say goes onto my family WhatsApp group. I get what I need there. It's more fun too....and sometimes we slag off people we've seen on fb!

*not the done thing to say anything personal on Twitter.

I think Facebook in particular (as opposed to MN, Twitter etc) it’s because you know the people who’s lives you’re observing IRL too to an extent. Therefore the things that annoy or upset/bother you are attached to an already present narrative.
I came off years ago. So good in terms of positive mental health, you’ll love it 😊
This place can be very negative and it’s good to break from it but you don’t actually know people, seems easier to switch off from it

I agree with the poster who said that Mumsnet has been the worst during the Lockdown. Utterly crazy and rapid. The opposite on a good place to talk,

I deleted mine 8 years ago and never logged back on since.
It was the constant bitching/moaning and everything else. I also realised I don't care much for knowing what others are up to

I deleted my account about ten years ago as I was receiving by email, suggestions for friends who I only knew at the time from a completely separate forum. It finished any trust I had in them.

At the time it was relatively easy to 'freeze' your account, which is what FB called it at the time but incredibly hard to actually delete. I had to get help from a couple of technically minded outside friends who agreed it wasn't at all simple.

Is deactivating your account the same as freezing or is your account deleted ?

I deactivated my account two years ago, I found seeing friends do things and not getting invited ( on occasion .. yes I had some toxic friends ) difficult to deal with and it was upsetting me so I removed myself from it . I use Instagram and follow fashion people and enjoy that .
Fb is full of people pretending to be having more fun/ richer / happier etc than they really are .. and it's pretty dull over and over again isn't it!!

It’s just full of bull. I have a “friend” who I’ve known since I was 1. Can never delete her as is dads best mates daughter so lots of family history. She’s always posting pics of her with her two kids and husband , cleverly “staged” so they promote the image of perfect family. He also occasionally posts tripe like “my kids are so luck to have x as their mother and I’m so lucky too” yet he’s an obnoxious twat who treats her abysmally. He’s one of those: all about the money. At our wedding he was trying to get off with 2 of my (very attractive) mates and even said to them (his wife was 6 months pregnant with their second at the time) “I’d rather be over here with you guys”. They had a huge row.

So it’s all bullshit. And I’m sick of it.

Also, the people who post CONSTANTLY about every fucking detail of their tedious lives.

It’s basically a platform for twats

Meant to say I deactivated for a month, only back on now as part of an early pregnancy group but will be deactivating again shortly

I hate FB. I tried it briefly but it wasn’t for me. I find it very intrusive and frankly pointless.

I've only read the first and last pages of this thread but isn't there anyone who uses it moderately and happily?!

I hardly post my own posts, or pics of kids, I like several interest groups so only get posts I'm interested in, and don't have any annoying friends of the LIVE LOVE LIFE , or if I do they don't spam me with shite.

I have got one or two 'friends' who post competitive parenting things but I find them a little sad that they feel so insecure that they have to show off in this way.

Horses for courses.

Yes I'd say I use it happily. Like I said, don't post much and only use it really for local groups/chat etc.

I only have one friend that posts bollocks. Lots of selfies at the gym type stuff. Mostly people just ignore her.
I find the local information useful and it’s handy for messaging friends.

Everything that has been said about FB can be said about MN though can’t it? I use both but ignore a massive amount of the trash that’s posted, believe only about a quarter of what I read and laugh at what I find funny.

Take either of them too seriously and you’ll be in trouble.

I've never had a FB account. I grew up in a small rural community where everyone knew everyone's business (or thought they did). Couldn't wait to leave and be anonymous. FB is just like living somewhere small, friends of friends know all your business and has an opinion on it. And sure enough everyone from that small community loves FB and want to connect with DH who does have a FB account so they can know our business. Luckily he never posts anything.

Because I'm very private and I don't want to share my data with any organisation that isn't 100% accountable (unless it's unavoidable, eg HMRC, banks etc).

I've always felt uneasy about it, and felt utterly vindicated when the Cambridge Analytica thing broke. Friends with FB used to take the piss out of me for being "paranoid", so there was a lot of "I told you so" going on then.

I wouldn't let them do a profile of me on my employer's website, either.