If you don't have facebook?

[Rayn]

Can I ask why? I have just deactivated my account for the first time in 12years.
For the first time ever I feel it is negatively affecting my mental health.
I am struggling at the moment like alot of others and fed up of seeing the same thing.
How wonderful people's children are home schooling, pictures of lovely walks. How perfect and how well they are coping.
Then on the other hand it's negative and repetitive. I appreciate alot of it will be Coronavirus but I seriously need a break.
Only just holding things together at home and feel like I am failing.

For those of you who have never used it then why not?
For those of you who did and no longer use it then why did you not go back.

Deactivated and removed the app from my phone. So easy just to click on FB to what's going on but sometimes seeing and knowing too much does not do me any good.

Thoughts?

I know far to many mouth breathing idiots to ever continplate ever having a fb account. And I know you don't have to except them, but you try telling the local nutter who fights with wheely bins, why you removed them .

every criticism written here about FBk is exactly how I feel about MN.

High profile job (actually not so much now but used too be)
No intérêts in reading the drivel of peoples lives

Not for me really... Never cared what ppl r up to, and im very private wouldnt put my life in public. I also would keep ppl i like close enough so i dont nees bullshit fake posts to they're getting on.

I’ve just never bothered. I know you can set the privacy etc but I don’t want picture of me or DC, or our home on the internet. When we lived abroad DH shared a photo our house - we worked hard on the garden and were really happy with the results- with his parents, asked them not to share it because the country was dangerous and we would have been classed as the top 1% in that economy, average wage in the UK though. Then next it was on FB - look, my uncle’s house in X location in X country. Then we had to leave after a targeted attack. And they don’t understand why we don’t talk to them.

I lasted about 3 weeks 10 yrs ago, I found it overwhelming and relentlessly invasive. I couldn’t figure out the privacy controls (not blaming FB for that or really for the fact it just isn’t for me) or how to block or filter timelines and content. I ended up with lots of friends I didn’t want to be friends with because I didn’t want to offend anyone who requested! These included someone I hadn’t been in touch with for over 15 years - yep, took less than a couple of days for me to remember why. She was the final straw so I just quietly deactivated it and went away. Then 5 years ago I joined an online community for a local artist; the admins decided to close the forum in favour of setting up a Facebook group page. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to reactivate my fb account - I was wrong. I lasted 3 days that time.

Never been interested.

Never had it. I made an account in the very early days and then deleted it days later as just was not for me.Never felt the need to have my life validated by others. Don't feel the need to ask questions that I can google or the need to show off.
I have been on amazing holidays, eat out at good restaurants, have a good circle of friends, drive a decent car, go to many social gatherings, kids have all got the latest gadgets/clothes etc etc but I choose to keep my life, my memories and my shit to myself. The thought of someone I don't know/don't like having access to me in a virtual way does not sit well with me.

I think Facebook is a good thing if used correctly.
It is just not for me.

Because FB will find out way too much about you and sell your personal info.

I missed it a lot when I first got rid, however now I can’t believe I use to be so addicted too it! I feel loads better for not having it.

I go through stages of deactivating when I want a digital cleanse. I actually find instagram worse for my mental health than facebook because most people don't tend to put their lives on facebook as much anymore. Instagram is full of celebs endorsing crap and people posting pictures of their "perfect" lives.

So interesting to read a lot of this and it all really resonates. I’m still on FB but have increasingly been feeling it’s harming my mental health. I seem to get a lot of news updates and charity updates and seeing the horrific comments on articles about refugees, Covid, Brexit etc makes me feel incredibly low.

I also feel the same way as @CrazyTimesAreOccurring* about the bullshit “tag a friend” updates. I felt so low after someone who is meant to be a close friend did a “here are photos of women I feel so proud of or who I have had a great time with” and excluded me. She has form for doing “these are my support crew” type posts and excluding me, even though I have constantly tried to provide support (using both time and money I really didn’t have). It all just highlights how FB has become more about bragging about your life and portraying a certain image, than trying to stay in contact with people.

For those of you who did and no longer use it then why did you not go back

I signed up in my early 20s. Used it a lot. Deactivated a few years ago in my late 20s.

a) I don't have any interest in the lives of people I went to school with but haven't seen in years, people I worked with in the past, vague acquaintances, friends of friends, etc. I have my actual close friends and all of my family in various group chats on WhatsApp, so we keep in touch and share photos etc. on there.
b) I wasn't comfortable with facebook knowing everything about my life and tracking my every move.
c) I have a news app so don't need facebook to know what's going on in the world.

I was on FB many years ago and to be honest I didn’t like it, I didn’t like how there was competition about how many friends you have and followers etc .
So I deactivated my account and was very happy .
Then my 10 year old auditioned for a show with a theatre Academy and we were told that everybody communicates via their FB page ( members page ) so I’m back on FB .

I stopped adding to FB conversations about 5 years ago when an argument blew up.

Then I just used it to post holiday snaps for my family but felt uncomfortable who could see it so deleted all my pictures.
Then someone posted something outing on my timeline so I changed all my privacy settings (even though I thought they were already set).
I stopped posting personal stuff when someone who I wasn't FB friends with would talk about what I'd posted.
I hardly visit it but since the virus I've returned to message family and friends.
I try to quickly see if I have a message but sometimes get pulled in to the dark side then wish I hadn't looked.

Reading about the minutiae of others peoples lives just seemed so pointless.

News wise, the bar is set too low and I can’t be asked to wade through so much bullshit.

I've got an account (I've heard it incredibly hard to close your account, a friend tried, took her weeks and fb required a letter from her to close it!) but I find it boring and I don't like the ethics of the company/its founder.
In fact I would say it's my most distrusted brand.

I think it depends on how you use it tbh.
I do use FB, quite regularly. I 'follow' and therefore read posts from groups and activities I am interested in. My dads village has a wonderful page, really nice helpful people who happily drop off a bottle of milk for him if I mention he is a bit short, people who look out for him.
I am a member of 3 of my local villages groups. I can find out what us going on, when there is live music in the pubs (in normal times), whats happening in the area.
I also joined a group for my specific hobby, a new venture for me, and have had fantacstic advice and help from enthusiastic members.
I dont bother with the rest, so personally, I find facebook really useful.
Its a bit like MN. Skio past the crap and read what you're interested in, surely?

It's a pile of wank. In return you hand over all your data to be sold off to corporations/manipulated by dodgy political ads.

It makes you compare yourself to (the false, constructed version of) others' lives, which creates insecurity and isolation.

It takes up time that could be spent much more productively, whether in social contact or otherwise.

I left five years ago and never looked back. There were people on there whose lives I knew all about but if I saw them in the street I wouldn't bother saying hello. That's weird.

I have come very close to deleting it, for different reasons.

I use it for a few groups that I belong to - for finding legal info, working through bureaucracy etc. We live in France and are having to make small and big changes thanks to Brexit. FB groups on applying to get a residence card, change our driving licences, apply for nationality are hugely helpful and there is no equivalent that I can find, for sharing advice, experience and infirmation.

I’ve unfollowed pretty much everything else including many friends and family. I don’t really follow anything other than the groups above plus one local expat group.B

I never had one, I am not interested.

Still have an account on my phone but haven’t logged in for nearly 2 years. It’s just a pile of BS designed to steal data. Too many oversharers and too many people desperate to curate the perfect looking life. I also realised that I don’t actually care about the minor goings on in the lives of 99% of my Facebook ‘friends’ and I’m sure the feeling was mutual. Why would Rebecca, who I last saw in real life 7 years ago, give a shit about my home renovation project?

I don’t see any positives to it. It’s interesting that during lockdown, there are about 15 people I regularly talk to on phone or video conference. Those are my real friends and family.

I want to get rid, I did for 5months last year, I can't remember why I got it back. I'm keeping it just down as my daughters school class have a page to stay in touch but I dont really look at the news feed, it's just stupid "to often women tear each other down" selfies, virtue signaling and corona virus "experts"

The banality of it made me think everyone I know was thick.

It sounds like most of you need new friends. Facebook is what you make of it. Like Vicbarbarkley I find it a really useful source of local information. I belong to several local community Facebook groups, and loads of local suppliers and the local council post about which places are open, who does deliveries, when the bins will be emptied etc.

People often post about roads closed due to accidents, or due to snow or that a road is blocked because a herd of cows have got out. No other online resource contains as much useful or immediate information as far as I can see.

You can have the highest privacy settings and not post anything about yourself. I think the FB naysayers just are unable to see the benefits of it used properly.

Oh, and I use Messenger to keep in touch with DD when she is at university as she doesn't have WhatsApp and the telephone signal is rubbish.