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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Where is the worse place you have farted ?

209 replies

Femail · 30/03/2020 00:34

Mine has to be at work and in front of a customer. I tried to hold it in but it just popped out and was very loud. Luckily the customer burst out laughing and we both ended up with tears in eyes as was quite funny. I apologised and she said was no problem Grin
Where is the worst place you have farted in ?

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 30/03/2020 00:56

I once let the loudest fart in a cafe it bounced loudly off the chair, Dsis went into hysterics plus she has a weak bladder, she couldn't talk concentrating on not peeing and laughing, I blamed her outright she couldn't deny it, everyone looked in her direction making her laugh more.

CeriseClementine · 30/03/2020 01:01

On dh's penis whilst spooning is up there with my worst.

TreadLightly3 · 30/03/2020 01:11

These are brilliant, well done for sharing!

Mine was when I was temping in a small office in a factory. The guy sharing the office (who I’d never met before) got up a couple of times and said “For god’s sake” (but not directly to me) and left the office, shortly after I farted. I just thought he was weird and didn’t think it could be related to me as they were tiny, silent, and smell-free trumps. That evening I farted in front of my sister and discovered that my farts were the exact opposite of smell-free when she nearly retched. Suffice to say I begged the agency to send me somewhere else the next day!

MeganTheVegan · 30/03/2020 01:14

I once pissed myself in Asda. Does that count?

EmeraldShamrock · 30/03/2020 01:16

@MeganTheVegan Yes 👍🤣

ShrimpSymphony · 30/03/2020 01:17

In the PACKED lift going up the Eiffel Tower. My stomach was upset from travelling. Thank God it was silent but deadly...oh so deadly 😷

catfeets · 30/03/2020 01:18

A few weeks ago I farted in the supermarket while I was bent over choosing chocolate. What I didn't realise was that there was a man pretty much at arse height. It was so so loud (I'd just given birth and was struggling to keep in my farts anyway). My DP looked at me and I just looked back as if I didn't know what the look of shock on his face was for.
I can now blame them on the baby as she does nothing but fart.

Shame it was before lockdown and panic buying, at least I might have been able to gather toilet roll and pasta by clearing the aisles with farts Blush

WoahBodyforrrm · 30/03/2020 01:20

About 3 inches away from a Dr and a trainee midwife when they had an industrial sized torch to have a look to see if I was leaking waters. I was asked to do a little cough to see if any came out...instead a massive fart nearly sent them across the room.

All I could do was say a timid little sorry 😂

WoahBodyforrrm · 30/03/2020 01:20
  • about 3 inches from their FACES
EmeraldShamrock · 30/03/2020 01:23

These have made me laugh Grin I Iove how a farter's face changes all innocent "it wasn't me" 💨

myboysmum · 30/03/2020 01:37

Not me but my friend did whilst having her coil fitted 🤣

BitOfFun · 30/03/2020 01:50

Kidderminster.

QuestionableMouse · 30/03/2020 01:52

At a very somber remembrance day service. I was due on and had a really unhappy gut but was leading one of the readings so couldn't stay away.

The priest who was leading it all paused for a moment's silence and my gut started to rumble. Thought I'd be able to hold it in but it escaped at about 45 seconds. Loud and very ripe.

I still cringe now when I think about it and it was six years ago.

CtrlU · 30/03/2020 01:56

When I was in primary school; we were all in the classroom and one of the boys at the table in the back did something funny so me and my friends went to the table to check it out. We were all standing around the table and I was standing with my back against another girl who was seated right behind me. Anyway the boys said something funny and I burst out laughing but a loud fart came out and shamefully went straight in the girl behind me’s face Blush She didn’t say anything but she definately realised as she looked at me in disgust the rest of the lesson lol

Oooooooooooooooooooh · 30/03/2020 02:01

Once at a pantomime and the row behind started screaming and carrying on.

Icanflyhigh · 30/03/2020 02:14

Thank you! Crying with laughter here!

Apolloanddaphne · 30/03/2020 02:22

Whilst sitting cross legged in the gym at high school. The teacher was explaining something and we were all silent. The fart ricocheted round the gym and we all dissolved in hysterical laughter, including the teacher.

FunkyKingston · 30/03/2020 02:26

At school during a spelling test. It felt like it had been building up for about three days. End of the test, I bent down to tie.my shoelace and out it came.

The room was still very quiet and it fair rattled the glass in the windows and was so pungent it smelt as if something had crawled up my arse and died.

I was nearly hysterical with relief and this enraged the teacher further and earned me a colossal bollocking of the 'i suppose you think this is funny' type.

And for the record, I did and still do, find a silence puncturing fart hilarious.

Kn0ckOnTheDoor · 30/03/2020 02:57

funeral car on the way to my grandads funeral. it was silent but stank.

one of my classmates farted during our GCSE exams. it rippled off the chair and reverberated around the huge sports hall walls.

Micsam89 · 30/03/2020 03:03

Getting adjusted by the chiropractor. He pushed and clicked my back and out came a big fart Shock

WillWinterEverEnd · 30/03/2020 03:27

In the Midwife's face while giving birth 😬

Liverbird77 · 30/03/2020 08:48

First Aid practical exam. Resuscitation. I bent over to the dummy in the floor and one just escaped. I was only 17 and mortified!

Bubblemonkey · 30/03/2020 08:52

Walked past an unsuspecting victim in Aldi. Thought it was gonna be silent. It was not.

LakieLady · 30/03/2020 08:56

Explaining something to a new colleague, on her 2nd day in the job. Thankfully, we were outside at the time.

She fell about laughing and we've been firm friends ever since.

EmeraldShamrock · 30/03/2020 09:12

It is the vibration in a quiet room that cracks me up. 🤣

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