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Original poster

Where is the worse place you have farted ?

209 replies

Femail · 30/03/2020 00:34

Mine has to be at work and in front of a customer. I tried to hold it in but it just popped out and was very loud. Luckily the customer burst out laughing and we both ended up with tears in eyes as was quite funny. I apologised and she said was no problem Grin
Where is the worst place you have farted in ?

OP posts:
LakieLady · 31/03/2020 18:02

@LittleCandle, my late father was a champion farter, too.

My mother and I were chatting on the phone one evening and she asked me if I'd heard about the small earthquake they'd had in Birmingham that day. When I told her I'd seen it on the news, she said "Yes, but the bit they didn't explain was that it was caused by your father farting in Milton Keynes".

We once heard him farting in the back garden as we walked up the front path. I'm surprised their neighbours never complained about the noise.

yoikes · 31/03/2020 18:02

Stoke on trent

Pandoraslastchance · 31/03/2020 18:12

This one from a previous fart thread! "Eyeballs wobble" has me in stitches everytime.

Where is the worse place you have farted ?
kevintheorangecarrot · 31/03/2020 18:48

Haven't farted in an embarrassing place but I did in front of man " friends with benefit " . I had my knees bent up and he was sitting opposite to me and just let out a huge fart out of nowhere lol it stank as well Blush PS he didn't want to see me anymore after that

73kittycat73 · 31/03/2020 19:33

Thanks for that Pandoraslastchance it properly made me laugh! Grin

TitsInAbsentia · 31/03/2020 19:34

@Pandoraslastchance and 'column of fart'!! It's a good job the gas isn't coloured...

MortyFide · 31/03/2020 19:51

The expressive storytelling in this thread really is first class. I salute you all.

I have commented on a previous thread about this, but I was the poster who inadvertently farted at the point of orgasm when my DH was expertly delivering some, erm, oral pleasure. He emerged and retorted "Fuck me love, you just gave me a centre parting."

Greenpolkadot · 31/03/2020 20:12

At the chiropractors last week. She asked me to turn over and it just popped out... And it stank

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 31/03/2020 20:14

I am sure I am not the only one wondering 😂
How long it took you, the ones who followed through, to trust that arsehole again?😂
I am still suspicious

jimmyhill · 31/03/2020 20:54

Leicester

TheTittefers · 31/03/2020 21:12

The Cheddar Gorge.

Cattenberg · 31/03/2020 21:15

Too many to count for me.

As for DSIS - very loudly when we were at the cinema years ago, watching Little Women. It was during the tragic scene just after Beth has died and Jo finds her trunk in the attic. “Oh Beth!”

igotdemons · 31/03/2020 22:49

I accidentally came across some fart spray pranks on YouTube a while back and this was my absolute favourite one- I laughed so hard whilst watching this that I could hardly breathe! 😂😂😂

Icantbelieveitsnotnutter · 31/03/2020 23:01

Whilst lying on my front having my back massaged by a very polite masseuse at a spa. I was soooooo relaxed that even my buttocks shook very slowly as the gust puffed out like a chuffing steam train. I never returned.

clevername · 01/04/2020 00:02

Another 'midwife's face' one...
She was right in there, fitting a catheter as I was about to have an EMCS and this enormous sound filled the room. I'm not exaggerating when I say that everyone stopped what they were doing (there were lots of people doing lots of surgery prep in there, as I guess happens in these situations) and looked at me. I was totally numb from the waist down so didn't realise it was me that had done it at first...
When I saw her disgruntled face looking up from between my legs it dawned on me - I said 'was that me?', in horror. Then I burst out laughing (farts are funny).

My god, funniest /most embarrassing moment of my life! Grin Blush

ClarkGablesLaugh · 01/04/2020 00:03

Can anyone remember the last fart thread?!
The poster who would fart into pint glasses and leave them upside down and dotted around the house.. she would hide and watch with glee her poor father unsuspectingly turn over the glasses, and a few seconds later his face would crinkle up and he'd yell out, "oh you dirty girl!"

And there was another really funny one but it's literally escaped my memory.

ClarkGablesLaugh · 01/04/2020 00:06

Oh yes, I remember now!
The poster who let rip a whopper and in describing it said it as having a "question mark at the end". So bloody funny and I knew EXACTLY what she meant!

Original poster
Femail · 01/04/2020 00:20

Does anyone else fart more loudly at night ? I've let a few big rippers out tonight Grin

OP posts:
bengalcat · 01/04/2020 00:23

O ladies so so funny - thank you

smileannie · 01/04/2020 05:22

Micsam89, this is really common in chiropractic. Your chiropractor will be expecting it with certain adjustments.

PhilCornwall1 · 01/04/2020 06:12

Does anyone else fart more loudly at night ? I've let a few big rippers out tonight 

We went out for a walk last night and I was ripping them out. In my defence, I've got a stonking great hernia, which seems to cause it at the moment.

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 01/04/2020 09:23

The thing that makes me laugh is when you do a quilt-lifter in bed and the cat looks at you as if to say "don't ever mention my litter tray again. Ever. "

amusedbush · 01/04/2020 09:56

@TitsInAbsentia

Is it only blokes that cock a leg/raise a cheek to fart?

No. The first time my now-DH met my parents, DM was warned ahead of time that I had two rules for the meeting: she had to wear proper trousers instead of the ratty "leisure slacks" she always wears in the house, and NO FARTING.

She cooked a lovely lunch and afterwards she and DF were on one sofa and we were on the other. As she was talking she nonchalantly cocked a leg off the sofa and farted. I squeaked "mum!" and she and DF fell about laughing, which set DH off. She farts all the time and hadn't even realised she was doing it!

amusedbush · 01/04/2020 10:05

Does anyone else fart more loudly at night?

That reminded me of one night after I'd started Slimming World and the extra fruit and veg was obviously taking its toll. I let out a fart so stinking it actually woke me up. A few seconds later I head a groggy, "eurgh, what the fuck is that?" from DH.

I said "I think you farted" and he apologised profusely Grin

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 01/04/2020 10:57

My Dh once farted so loudly in bed it woke him up. He did that sleepy "What was that. What. Did you say anything?" And fell beck asleep😂 He reminded me of my old dog who used to spook himself in sleep with his farts.😂