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Original poster

Where is the worse place you have farted ?

209 replies

Femail · 30/03/2020 00:34

Mine has to be at work and in front of a customer. I tried to hold it in but it just popped out and was very loud. Luckily the customer burst out laughing and we both ended up with tears in eyes as was quite funny. I apologised and she said was no problem Grin
Where is the worst place you have farted in ?

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/03/2020 13:42

This is probably the best approach to take ownership of it and avoid any shame - you could well call it gaslighting Grin

Jojobythesea · 30/03/2020 13:47

@Icanflyhigh and me. Literally crying

Jojobythesea · 30/03/2020 13:50

@Elouera 😂😂😂😂😂

SophieSong · 30/03/2020 13:53

5am, getting on a sleepy National Express bus. Was going to be a long journey so I let out a ‘discreet’ one as I settled in. It wasn’t discreet, woke at least five people.

cheeseandcrackers88 · 30/03/2020 13:54

Recently walking down an aisle in Tesco and with each step a loud, short fart popped out. I had no control over it. I just had to brazen it out and keep going.

Another time in my office I was stood at the end of my colleagues desk let a massive rasper go. There was nowhere to hide and I got all flustered saying 'oh...I...I dunno what that was.' My colleague looked my dead in the eye and said 'a fart, cheese. It was a fart.'

Ffs.

wouldyouadamandeveit · 30/03/2020 13:54

I am literally crying  Thanks @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll , I really needed a cheer up and those two videos have really made my day!!

Topseyt · 30/03/2020 13:59

Far too many to count.

I do remember letting out a loud, reverberating rasper in the middle of a shopping centre which alarmed a young family walking some distance behind us. My DD was with me then and she did bollock me for that one! In front of them. I still couldn't stop laughing.

I used to love my long dog walks out in the fields when my old labrador was young. You can really have a farting good time out in the middle of nowhere with a dog. He never criticised me for it either. In fact, when we were at his weekly agility class some years ago he stood beside me at the front of the queue and let out a loud rasper of his own. The whole class dissolved into hysterics and he just stood there looking innocent, as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. GrinGrin I do miss that dog sooo much.

2beautifulbabs · 30/03/2020 14:10

I'm always able to fart and laugh at the same time like a machine gun is going off when I can't stop laughing.

I'll never forget the embarrassment of being 17 and letting out a massive fart while laughing stood around with all the other part time staff

AnneJeanne · 30/03/2020 14:17

i needed this thread! 🤣🤣

Topseyt · 30/03/2020 14:31

It is great to have an in-depth discussion about something other than the usual at the moment. Wink

CigarsofthePharoahs · 30/03/2020 14:52

I was a teenager. My church was putting on a big musical production.
We were lined up in a cramped enclosed corridor waiting for our stage cue. My guts had been cramping and hurting all day thanks to ibs and my mum's insistence that I should eat a lot more vegetable than my innards could handle.
No amount of clenching could hold back the monster. Luckily it was silent, but boy was it deadly. Everyone gagged and complained and a boy got the blame. He protested his innocence, to the point of shouting "If you don't believe me you can sniff my bum!"
Part two sneaked out when we were on stage and one of my friends muttered "I don't think it was him, it's out here now."
It was seriously grim. However as I am in control of my own diet now I fart a lot less.

Endoflifeasweknowit · 30/03/2020 14:58

Walking home from school, looked around and no one there. I think I possibly had headphones in...not sure. Anyway did about 4-5 big farts, continuing as I walked, totally awful farts as I wasn't feeling too great. Got to the end of my street and turned into my drive, behind me was my friends brother. I was mortified, he must have walked behind me for at least the length of the street. To his credit he never mentioned it (to me at least). Definitely made worse my huge crush on him. I've seen him recently (10-15 years later) and he really isn't attractive at all anymore but I still cringe at the memory. 😩🤦🏻‍♀️

Whatisthisfuckery · 30/03/2020 15:35

In an English Lesson when I was about 15. It just popped out, I didn’t even know it was coming. The room was completely silent at the time. I tried to look innocent but everybody knew it was me. I got called fart arse for the rest of the term after that.

Last year at a Specials gig I dropped a depth charge. I was standing in the front row so not so easy to deny it. I just looked straight ahead and pretended not to notice.

elliejjtiny · 30/03/2020 15:39

In assembly when I was about 9

Myneighboursnorlax · 30/03/2020 15:49

Another one from when I was around 18 - I’d been holding it in while at a friends house, let it go as soon as I got in my car, and it was bad! The whole car smelled terrible immediately. Next thing I know there’s a knock on my window, and my friend gesturing to wind it down so they could hand over something I’d forgotten! Their face as I slowly wound down the window and it hit them... Blush

FraughtwithGin · 30/03/2020 15:50

Until fairly recently I had a very "musical" gut. In fact one friend asked me if I could fart a scale...
However, the worst ones were one evening at dancing class (ballroom and Latin). I have no idea what I had eaten to cause the episode, but just before the half time break, I let out about 10 HUGE silent, but deadly farts in an underground, not very well ventilated room :-(
My husband knew it was me and gave me a "look". It was really rank.
Fortunately there was a 5 minute break, but it really wasn't pleasant.
I have since read that you need to fart 665 times to kill someone, I think, in my case, we could reduce that by at least 50%.

Movinghouseatlast · 30/03/2020 15:52

Pilates.

SetMeFree40 · 30/03/2020 15:54

At work. I bent down to get get something out of my locker and it just came out, really loud. They're was only one other person in there, I looked at her and we both burst out laughing. She never told anyone either, I was so grateful for that 😀

mamansnet · 30/03/2020 16:00

Not me but my dad. I won't go to B&Q with him any more as he think it's his Man Duty to fart loudly in the aisles while browsing.

Crying laughing at this thread!

MondeoFan · 30/03/2020 16:08

At parents evening. I'm the teacher and had 2 parents sitting at my table. I just carried on talking as if it never happened but I know they heard it

cstaff · 30/03/2020 16:19

When I bought my house with my sister years ago her bf was helping us to move in. He was messing with her and threw her under the stairs and closed the door. She got such a fright that she let out a complete whopper. He opened the door and had to pull back immediately because of the whiff. We still slag her about this 20 years on.

mamansnet · 30/03/2020 16:22

On a different note but just had to share this with you. Today I've had an email from an overseas lady called Mrs Fartass.

That poor woman.

looselegs · 30/03/2020 16:56

In a shop workers face as she was filling the bottom shelf of crisps up.
In my defence I was heavily pregnant. Had a craving for salt and vinegar twist crisps and they were on the bottom shelf. The shop worker was stacking the shelf behind me and I let rip as I bent over to get the twist crisps.
DH disappeared and I found him creased up with laughter outside the door!

simplekindoflife · 30/03/2020 16:57

I let out a very loud one in the toilet at work and came out to find two male colleagues in the hall. There is no way they didn't hear!! Blush

FizzyPink · 30/03/2020 17:00

I was once being spooned by my ex in bed and had woken up in the middle of the night feeling slightly odd. I let out what I thought was a little silent fart and was actually diarrhoea Blush luckily he had pants on but it was all over his bed! In my defence I did turn out to have quite a bad bug and was in bed for days. I don’t make a habit of pooing myself