Where is the worse place you have farted ?

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Mine has to be at work and in front of a customer. I tried to hold it in but it just popped out and was very loud. Luckily the customer burst out laughing and we both ended up with tears in eyes as was quite funny. I apologised and she said was no problem
Where is the worst place you have farted in ?

My favourite farting moment was at a yoga class. Someone (I can’t take the credit) did a loud fart at a quiet moment of exertion to which the yoga teacher promptly replied: ‘steady on!’ and the whole class dissolved into hysterics. I still can’t think about it without chuckling!

DH, the kids and I were in a lift in a very high building, coming down from the 66th floor.
DH let out a loud and stinky fart and said "DINNNGGGG!" - the sound lifts make when they stop and open the doors at a floor.
Well bugger me, within 2 seconds the lift went DINNNGGG, the doors opened and someone got in.
We had to ride about 50 floors down with eyes bulging, red faces and hyperventilating through our noses trying not to laugh.

These are brilliant! 😂
One time that I still think about now was when I was 16 & in my drama class. We were sat on the floor of the assembly, around 12 of us, going through a script. I had been holding a fart for ages by that point, someone said something funny, I laughed and let out THE LOUDEST fart I have ever done in my whole life - it echoed on the floor and it went along with the rhythm of my laugh, which made me laugh more!!
My friend next to me was laughing so much her face was bright red and she got blamed for it!!

And this one is pretty good - my partner and I were walking around Sainsbury’s, got to the chocolate aisle and stopped to have a look. He thought we were on our own so he cocked his leg and let out a huge fart just as a couple came round the corner. They just looked at him with disgust, he went bright red and I just walked away, laughing hysterically!
It was the cocking if the leg which did it for me 😂😂

It wasn't me, but my youngest son. I WFH and was on a customer conference call, about 15 of us. I was in the kitchen and my son was sat up on the worktop. He let rip the most amazing fart that felt like it rattled on for eternity and everyone heard it. I spent the next couple of minutes on mute and we were both here pissing ourselves.

Farts are just funny.

He thought we were on our own so he cocked his leg and let out a huge fart

You win the thread!!

In a car on the way to the garden centre with my ex partner with my daughter and his son in the back seats. I just thought it was a normal fart that I’d get away with as my farts are normally quiet and non smelling. But not that day. Out came the silent fart and unexpectedly half of my insides. It was horrendous as I felt a violent warmth spread forcibly down my thighs and up my back. As I sat there contemplating the horror of what had happened I decided to say we had to turn back home immediately despite being a moment away from the garden centre. My ex asked why and I had no option but to tell everyone that I had sharted myself. No one believed me until the smell hit...
My ex did the quickest U turn I’ve ever known, windows all got rolled down, he was driving with his head as far out of his window as he could safely manage while saying ‘oh Jesus’ and when I looked round the two kids were literally gasping for fresh air at their windows.

I had a summer job in a food production factory when I was about 18; working on a huge and noisy production line. Must have been a few hundred of us on the factory floor. The receptionist had a tannoy to call for e.g. managers to go to a different part of the factory, or to take a phone call. I'll never forget talking to the girl next to me while we were on bagging duty when the tannoy sprung to life and a massive rumbling fart was broadcast to the entire factory 😂. We were howling. Apparently it was a thing; wait for the receptionist to be away from her desk and some of the lads would race to 'tannoy fart' before she got back! 😆

A new parent at school had just introduced herself. I sneezed and emitted one. I carried on chatting with the smell around us, desperately hoping the sneeze had obliterated the noise and she didn't know it was me. I think she did though.

They say you cough to hide a fart, but nowadays you fart to hide a cough. I'll get my coat....

OMGNoPlanes, I recently did something similar the day after drinking my first ever smoothie (I'm waaaay behind the times). My guts obviously couldn't stand the acid fruitiness, because what I thought would be a tiny fart turned out to be something else which needed to be cleaned up.

I thought DH would laugh at me when I told him about it, but he actually thanked me for 'taking one for the team' & poured the rest of the smoothie down the drain.

@swampusdonkus Just goes to prove, farts are funny!! 😆

In a long queue for a ride at Eurodisney when with my ex and his 2 DC’s (boys) who took great delight in shouting to the whole queue about it - it was a really rotten veg fart too!

I sharted in an Indian restaurant while out with work colleagues from a new job (this was about 3 years ago). It was all planned as a silent, controlled fart that I thought I had control of and turns out I really didn't. The fart itself was a squeaker but the accompanying shart was a loud, wet dribbling sound that went from my arsecrack downwards. Luckily for me I was wearing black jeans. Made my excuses (there was no way they hadn't heard) and rushed to the loo to try and clean myself off. Didn't know what to do so sat through the rest of the meal with wet jeans and probably stinking. Nobody said anything though.

The worst bit was one colleague insisted on walking me back to my car after the meal, when I wanted to just rush off home. He was an older gent so the slow walk was torturous. There was no mention of the incident by anyone so I think they were just being polite. It's the only time I've ever done this but in my defence r.e the sharting I had had bumsex the night before.

I am seriously crying at some of these😂

There is a Bollywood film called 'Shart'

m.imdb.com/title/tt0176134/plotsummary?ref_=m_tt_ov_pl#summary-ps0234859

Great plot

Sharted got me! 🤣

@polo
Well once you explained that you had bum sex the night before surely they understood 😂😂😂

On a plane. I'd spent a week on holiday eating boiled eggs at the buffet breakfast. Halfway through the flight back home I dropped a tiny little fart with the power of a nuclear bomb. The row behind us were retching and wafting papers but that bad boy was thick and wasn't going anywhere.

Luckily I was sat between my dad and brother and who's going to blame the innocent sweet girl in the middle lol

Just remembered another one,again courtesy of Dd,when she was about 15. We were in Marks and Spencer's food department and she was pushing one of their little trolleys. At the time,she was going through a phase of getting small electric shocks from metal objects when she touched them. Shop trolleys were one of the worst offenders. She was standing looking at the crisps,put her hand on the trolley handle and yelped,getting an electric shock and at the same time letting rip with a massive fart. There was a posh middle aged lady standing about 6 feet away from her and the look on her face was priceless. Meanwhile,I was nearly on the floor in hysterics. Dd just totally owned it,turned to the lady and said 'Terribly sorry about that!' and sauntered off.
As a post script to my Dd's magnificent farting prowess,is it really that surprising that 8 years later when we were visiting a cider farm in Devon,I blamed her for a huge fart that she had NOT done? She was 7 months pregnant at the time and had been suffering from quite a bit of wind throughout the pregnancy. We were in a barn,admiring two enormous shire horses,when one of them let rip with a huge one. Honestly,for all of 10 seconds I really thought it was Dd surpassing herself! Anyone who's ever heard a very large horse fart will know what I mean! She had the right ache that I'd dared to think it was her!

Thank you all, I'm crying with laughter!!

I can't help but wonder two things though....

1. for those stories that involve an ex...was it the fart/shart/schasneeze that ended the relationship

2. Is it only blokes that cock a leg/raise a cheek to fart? I know I don't but...I feel I need to start a survey monkey survey on this!

after having son 2 he was that big he got stuck and i needed a ventuse,he even got stuck with that snd it took a lot of ompf to get him out after lot of tugs out he came and eveything came out after him.

i tore very badly the bit between the foof and the bum hole was complety open my insides were beimng held by my mohher snd midwife i had a tear in my bowel,it was bad

within the half hour in was in surgery fixing it all back in and sewn backup

as the surgeon was repairing my literal bum hole my body must have reacted as i was numb from the waist down and i let out the biggest gush of air

he said dont worry its not a fart its just air up there getting out

it happened quite a few times as they were operating

As a young art teacher I let out a big smelly one in class of 13 years. I tried to squeeze it out quietly but I hadn't bargained for how smelly it would be and the kids we're exclaiming at the stink "ooh miss someone's dropped one , someone's farted" etc and blaming it on each other and opening all the windows. I tried to act nonchalant and get them calmed down. I let some poor kid take the blame for it as I knew I'd never live it down if the kids guessed it was me.

Great plot

It would have been even better if they'd also followed through (ahem) with the suggestion given strongly by the film title.

When I read "Raj likes to gamble and place bets about virtually anything", I assumed he was going to make a wager as to how many supermarket checkout queues he could clear with only the bounteousness of his powerful bowels

It could have led him to amazing heights of fame. This other Bollywood-style performer started off with a low-level bodily talent and ended up being the sound of Bond!

Was on a night out with friends drinking, needed to expire some gas so went outside for s ciggie with friend, looked around, couldnt see anyone so i let rip, loud and long fart. Heard some stifled laughing and there hiding in the shadows was a chap having a cigarette......

I have an uncle who is not a stranger to the delights of a good strong curry. We all have skills and talents which make us who we are and one of his very special ones is the production of silent, foul, eye-watering nether wind that could strip paint.

His finest hour was at the pub one evening, when he was sitting quietly on his own in the corner. There was a big group of lads in the centre of the pub and, once this putrid aroma descended, they started accusing each other and demanding to know who the parpetrator was. Of course, none of their group claimed it and tensions rose at this perceived show of great disrespect, soon escalating into a scuffle before becoming a full-on brawl.

They were all thrown out by the landlord, still fighting. Meanwhile, this kindly elderly gentleman in the corner finished his pint, exchanged 'good evening' pleasantries with the landlord and then left quietly for home, stepping past the stramash outside, with nobody any the wiser - until he nonchalantly mentioned it to us a few days later.