Where is the worse place you have farted ?

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Mine has to be at work and in front of a customer. I tried to hold it in but it just popped out and was very loud. Luckily the customer burst out laughing and we both ended up with tears in eyes as was quite funny. I apologised and she said was no problem
Where is the worst place you have farted in ?

I was once on a crash diet and chewed loads of gum to stop me feeling hungry. I was getting through about 3 packets a day and it gave me the most atrocious wind. Luckily they were silent ones as I worked in a very quiet office at the time. I also had the desk nearest the toilets, after about a week on this diet I came in one morning to find a couple of plumbers dismantling the toilet nearest my desk. I asked a colleague what was going on and she said that management was finally getting the toilet fixed after the stink that’s been coming from it all week .

I love it when a dog farts loudly, then barks at its own bum.

DD is two and almost every time she bends over to pick something up off the floor, she farts. I think it’s cute.

Remember picking up a neighbour’s cat for a cuddle not realising he’d not long had his dinner. He did the daintiest little fart which stank to high heaven. Had to put him down and run for cover.

Also once when staying at the PIL’s Dh did the most incredibly loud fart in his sleep. I heard my MIL in the bedroom next to us loudly say to her husband ‘you dirty bugger, you woke me up!’

Had to put him down and run for cover.

That is NOT a fair punishment just for one little windypuff

This wasn't me thankfully, but I once went to evening Mass at Westminster Cathedral after work. I don't make a habit of it but something really nice had happened and I felt like going to say thank you and to light a candle.

Cathedral was about a third full, (midweek summer evening) so a real echo chamber. I sat on the right hand side of the aisle, with two American men in front of me. Just as we got to the consecration (the most important bit of the Mass when the priest holds up the communion wafer and blesses it, so, deadly silent) somebody on the left hand side of the cathedral let one go. It was so loud it seemed to echo for days and days. I barely kept it together but the two American guys absolutely fell apart, to the extent that one had to leave and go and stand at the back because they kept looking at each other and setting each other off again.

Directly to the left of us three women were sat at aisle ends, one behind each other, and it was obvious that it was one of those three. But fair play, none even batted an eye lid. Total poker face.

At the Royal Opera House during a tragic bit and you could hear a pin drop.

A few years ago after having a zinger burger and cheesecake for lunch, DW and I decided to go into the pet shop 3 doors up from KFC and have a look at the puppies.

We were walking round the shop and my gut had its inevitable reaction to too much spice, extra caramelised onion and dairy.

It was horrendous - DW just glared at me and we carefully our way to the front of the store to leave. It was that balance between leaving as quickly as we could without looking suspicious and not lingering too long in case people realised it was me.

Just as we got level with the till we heard one of the customers tell the assistant that she was a vet nurse and was concerned the puppies might have parvo as it was such a distinctive smell and one you never forget!! Nope, not parvo, just my gut :(

Probably a bit outing but who cares?! DP and I travelled to London for my birthday not long after we got together. He was treating me to Harry Potter Studios. The morning of we had breakfast and he had an extra large full English. Anyway, in the lift he looked at me, muttered a half-arsed 'sorry' and let out the longest, loudest fart ever!

It stunk! The worst part of it was an elderly couple got on the next floor and the man turned to his wife and said 'wow, you can really smell the breakfast!' I was red trying not to fall apart laughing.

Knew from that moment he was the one for me