I've upset my DM terribly and I don't know what to do...

[muddleoffeelings]

Mum and dad both have high blood pressure and in late 60's early 70's. I was in hospital 6 weeks ago with pneumonia.
I was meant to leave Mothers Day card and flowers outside door (they live about 20mins away).
Woke up feeling flu-ey and had a 30 min coughing attack.
Husband said there was no way we were going to shop to get cards and flowers as it was non-essential.
I made cards with the children and he dropped them to the front door before taking them out for some fresh air in the forest (we live in a remote area). My parents had gone out to walk on a local deserted beach.
Called my DM later and she extremely cold with me and then eventually burst into tears saying she couldn't believe I hadn't bothered to get her a present. i explained what happened but she said it wasn't good enough.
now I feel devastated that I have upset her so much but my DH says we made the right decision and it's about keeping them and ourselves safe.
I'm not so sure and feel so upset - did we do the right thing??

Your mum is being unreasonable. You did the right thing. Everyone's health is more important than a gift x

You do nothing - your husband is right

You did the right thing - first time ever we haven't seen my mum but she understands

YADNBU if they can’t see sense by their age there is no hope for them.

Don't be ridiculous. Why are you asking this? Of course you know you're not being unreasonable.

On the other hand, your Mum might be bored, isolated, frightened, who knows.

Just ignore the whole saga.

Your mother’s priorities are mind bogglingly arse backwards, OP. How has your relationship been historically?

Your mum is being ridiculous.

Ask her if she wants you to come back and give her coronavirus?

She's emotional. And she's being silly. She'll get over it when she realises how daft she's being.

You did the right thing. You might feel bad about upsetting her, but how much worse would you feel if you passed something onto her or your DF? I think as things progress, she’ll understand.

Your mum is being pathetic. Hope you feel better.

@constancesalinger Not very nice!

If you usually send a gift, you could have called or text to explain why no gift this year. This would have prevented any upset. Mother’s Day seems to bring out the emotional side in people!

Your mother is being massively unreasonable and ungrateful. Hope you feel better soon.

Your mum is behaving like a child

Agree with the others your DM is being unreasonable. Two of my DS's live elsewhere, I told them I would rather they stay in and stay safe than go and get me and card or present - because their health and safety are my priority. It should be the same with your DM.

She’s probably very stressed so imo you should just apologise and move on, you didn’t do anything wrong but it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things right now

Wow. Your Mother sounds like a right pain in the arse!! Why would you feel guilty about trying to protect her? Seriously, please try and think of something else.

In the nicest possible way, your mum needs to get a grip. Get a present and potentially infect a whole bunch of people in the shops with a deadly virus? Or get a card and not infect a whole bunch of people in the shops? Hmm, not that hard a call for most people.

Your Mum is being ridiculous or just scared as it may be hitting home about how scary this thing is.

@ConstanceSalinger wind your neck in

OP, YANBU, people should be making trips only for essential items, not gifts!

Is your mother usually so thoughtless?

She’s been VERY VERY VERY unreasonable!!!!

Your mum needs to give her self a reality check. How bloody ridiculous. Hope you feel better op and don’t let this bother you.

Is she usually such an idiot?

Your mum is being utterly ridiculous.

Tell her to get a grip. Perhaps you should read the Long standing thread here called We took you to Stately Homes.

You were not wrong.

Your DH is right and so are you
Your mum is completely in the wrong.
Let her sulk.
She's being worse than childish as at her age she should know better.