Posting on Facebook about a deceased relative

[glitteryboots]

I know someone who lost their father probably about a month ago now. Very sad but not entirely unexpected - in his 80s. Lots of sympathetic comments on Facebook - fair enough - I posted my condolences also. However, she is putting on posts about her father every single day - not always pictures but something that refers to him. I think if you are grieving you should grieve with close friends and family not try and get sympathetic messages online every five minutes. In between the messages there are pictures of her going to the cinema or out for a meal - AIBU?

Just unfollow her.

Scroll on by.

They are allowed to grieve the way they see fit and post what they want on their Facebook page. Stop following them if it you don't like it.

Yabu. People grieve in different ways. If you don't like it you can unfollow

I would never do this myself but it just sounds like the poor woman is reaching out. Just unfollow if it's irritating you, she obviously feels much worse.

There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve.

If you don’t like how she is grieving then unfriend or unfollow her

I think its awful but so many people do it. Live their lives on Facebook, strange

Absolutely the best way to deal with this is to post on her wall, preferably in CAPITALS, that she is to cease posting about her dead father immediately. That will be helpful and kind.

glittery we may well know the same person! I lost my DDad aged 64, 7 weeks ago. I'm beyond devastated but my grief is private and I don't like the mawkish fb posts referring to it so I have refrained completely.
I find it all a wee bit attention seeking.
However..... my friend clearly finds it a comfort to her and it's her way of dealing with it. I've hidden her posts for now as it's not my thing and I'm too raw in my own grief to see hers displayed so openly.
I suppose I'm trying to say that we are all different and what suits one person doesn't help another. So I either hide or scroll on....

If this way helps with grief, then it’s right for them. Just unfollow if you don’t like it or want to see it rather than judging.

But surely if you are putting on pictures and messages every single day there is only so much people can say. I have honestly never seen anyone else doing this - maybe on the anniversary of a death or on someone's birthday. I can understand that but pictures of showing yourself staring into the distance seem a bit strange.

Apart from that her daughter and mother are Facebook friends - it is a constant daily reminder for them.

Hit the unfollow button, you don’t have to unfriend her but it means you won’t see her posts.

I'd always send an actual sympathy card with condolences rather than write them on social media!!!

I found out my nan had died after a cousin had posted it on social media and another friend sent her condolences- rather than checking that immediate family were even aware firstly. It was the most awful way to find out, so I certainly wouldnt be posting anything online, but just scroll past OP.

You sound nice OP

Sometimes people are talking to themselves when they post, or are just letting out their feelings. They're not necessarily looking for a response.

Everyone deals with grief their own way.
If the post didn't affect me personally I wouldn't care.

I should add that everyone grieves in their own way- there is NO right or wrong way. For her, it might be the only way she knows how to grieve. Just dont reply and scroll past! Or call and ask how she is!!!

Let her grieve how she sees fit. If getting attention is helping her then who cares? Just unfollow her and keep quiet.

People do ‘odd’ (to some people) things when mourning a major loss. She may well do it for a while, it probably gives her comfort of sorts.

One of the worst things when you lose someone is that even when people want to be there for you to talk to, they’re not because it’s just so tough and they don’t want to see you upset or say the wrong thing. Social media gives the person who is grieving space to communicate with others and feel less alone. They might not want a response but they know they’ve said how they’re feeling.

It’s not for everyone, and for most people it’s an occasional way to remember that the person you loved was here and it’s okay to talk about them.

Grieving is lonely. No one else will ever have had the same relationship with the person who has gone.

To do this day, my DMs profile pictures are always my DSis. She changes them when she comes across one that brings back a strong memory. It stops me in my tracks every time because I think WTH why is Dsis’s account active and it stings when I realise it’s just mum. But I’d never tell her. Ever. It’s her way of remembering and communicating.

It's not for you to tell her out to grieve.

If you were concerned for her, I would get it.

But you just seem to be judging her. Let her grieve how she feels is best. Its not for you to tell her what she should or shouldnt do.

I lost my mother about a month ago. It’s really fucking painful. It sounds as if your friend is grieving very differently to the way that I am, but she’s GRIEVING. I really really hope no one is judging me for the occasions I’ve cried on the school run or had a gin at lunchtime.

Actually they probably are, because there are some right judgmental shits in the world. You appear to be one of them.