Posting on Facebook about a deceased relative

[glitteryboots]

I know someone who lost their father probably about a month ago now. Very sad but not entirely unexpected - in his 80s. Lots of sympathetic comments on Facebook - fair enough - I posted my condolences also. However, she is putting on posts about her father every single day - not always pictures but something that refers to him. I think if you are grieving you should grieve with close friends and family not try and get sympathetic messages online every five minutes. In between the messages there are pictures of her going to the cinema or out for a meal - AIBU?

@glitteryboots

It’s sad you never have felt able to talk about your feelings and grief. I understand Facebook isn’t your chosen method but perhaps you can find other ways and means to talk about those you’ve lost. also, I think it takes a brave person to return and admit they were wrong.

I was brought up to believe that you didn't really mention the deceased after a funeral.

So sad to feel that way. The deceased person was a real living human being, precious and never forgotten especially to those that loved him/her.
Be kind and let people grieve in their own way

@Thefaceofboe I know mumsnet is a big place but I can’t help but wonder if you’re MY friend. Last year when my baby was born sleeping I posted details on Facebook along with pictures. It was my way of grieving. I’d be devastated to think one of my friends feels the way you do :(

Op can I say, I lost my brother @15yo my world fell apart & I didn’t talk about him for 5 years. I pretended he didn’t exist as it was far too painful for me to acknowledge he wasn’t coming home.

I feel the same when I see these posts, your thread made me think...I feel bitter towards those posts, I think the reason I do is because I’m jealous. I’m jealous somebody could grieve & lean on others as I never could/did.

My brother was my best friend & my life was never the same, it’s the trauma of watching your parents lose a child too.

I don’t know if you feel the same as me, but if you do I hope you know your not on your own feeling like this as I feel the same.

Oh my god. I love all the posters on here calling the op a bitch....
Saves me a job.
One of my friends lost a loved one a few years ago. She still posts about the relative quite frequently. It's clear she's still very much caught up with her grief.
Your friend barely lost her dad five minutes ago.

I was brought up to believe that you didn't really mention the deceased after a funeral.

That's sad, OP. I like the idea of three deaths: the first when you stop breathing, the second when they lay you in the ground, the third when people stop remembering you. I think it's important that the third death is delayed a considerable period. According to Isobel Anderson's lyrics:
And the third's,
When the world no longer,
Speaks my name.

It's painful but I think an important stage of remembering someone is when you can let go a little of the grief of losing them, and be glad that you knew them for the time that you did.

I lost my parents before the invention of Facebook but I don't think I would have loved out my grief in public like this. That said, people grieve in different ways. I would not judge but unfollow? I do understand what you are saying - I have someone on my friends list who is going through this at the moment

Lived not loved ....

It's not what I would do but it is entirely up to her of that's what she wants to do. Yabu, just unfollow her

Not read the whole thread but 100% what tulip said on page 1. Sometimes you just want to put something out into the void and aren't expecting or wanting a reaction.