Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think some of you are awful?

344 replies

KMW79 · 23/02/2020 20:34

I have been mainly just reading (over the past 6 months) the popular threads on the ‘mumsnet daily’ via email inbox.

Honestly I have been so shocked by the influx of negative, unhelpful and destructive responses that people receive. Even when people don’t agree with an OPs opinion or a respondents reply or even whom the OP was posting about, so many are seemingly so keen to attack in such a virile nature! Name calling, aggressive, viscous responses when someone asked for a basic opinion.

Elaborating on why someone is or isn’t being unreasonable doesn’t require an attack on either side of the viewpoint. It blows my mind how nasty people can be, and I don’t believe that was what this forum was created for!

Could this forum maybe return to what it was intended for?

OP posts:
Peony99 · 23/02/2020 20:38

Sorry to state the obvious - and probably fall into the group you're talking about - but if you hate it so much why read it?

SillyMoomin · 23/02/2020 20:39

So... maybe look at a different forum topic? There are lots you know

Chat
Tv
Politics
There’s even one for knitting

Original poster
KMW79 · 23/02/2020 20:40

I thought it would be supportive to other mums!

OP posts:
wildcherries · 23/02/2020 20:40

This seems to be a weekly thread now. Sigh. Just scroll on.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 23/02/2020 20:41

You’ve spent 6 months on a board you don’t like? Confused why?

Boom45 · 23/02/2020 20:41

Yeah, let's be nice to each other. And anyone who isn't nice in the way you like is awful yes?

Original poster
KMW79 · 23/02/2020 20:41

So AIBU is ok for attacking? It’s a free for all?

OP posts:
bobbypinseverywhere · 23/02/2020 20:42

Some people are pretty stupid tho... 😂

Pinkyponker · 23/02/2020 20:42

I agree with you and I often wonder if they are that rude in person to other people!

RuggyPeg · 23/02/2020 20:43

Mumsnet isn't all about mums. It's a broad church with lots of diverse subjects, views, people etc. It's pretty robust at times and you do sometimes have to have a thick skin but robust isn't always a bad thing and out & out nastiness isn't really tolerated.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 23/02/2020 20:43

Do we have to be supportive to all mums?
Even unreasonable/precious/abusive/neglectful/delusional/racist/homophobic ones?

Fuck that. Just because you've got a kid I don't have to be nice to you if you don't deserve it.

Hoik · 23/02/2020 20:43

The MN forums have always been a place for honest answers, sometimes bluntly so and particularly on certain boards such as AIBU. There are plenty of forums out there where one can have smoke blown up ones arse by a load of cheerleaders but personally I prefer honesty.

Not to mention that if you look for negativity you will find it. There is a lot of good done on MN too such as Wooly Hugs, various campaigns including a push for better miscarriage care and the removal of Bounty reps from postnatal wards, the SN boards which are an invaluable source of help for many, and not to mention the threads over the years that have brought people together.

LagunaBubbles · 23/02/2020 20:44

You can't police other people on the internet. If you don't like aibu don't read it surely?

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 23/02/2020 20:45

I don't think everyone sees it as an attack.

I thibk people genuinely see it more as constructive, but the way we as humans have progressed is that because we're behind a screen, we feel our opinions can be put across more bluntly, which can then be read as an attack etc.

So yes you are being unreasonable because I don't think people are cruel with bad intentions for the most part

Blurpblorp · 23/02/2020 20:46

I'm with you OP. So much unnecessary nastiness...

fedup21 · 23/02/2020 20:48

I’ve been here for years and in all that time there have been posts saying people are now being nasty and things should go back to the good old days.

Nothing has really changed.

If you don’t like what you read though, stop reading. You posting moaning about other people makes you as bad as them.

yatapina · 23/02/2020 20:49

YANBU to have an opinion but it doesn't mean it's true for everyone.

By your admission you've only been reading the most popular threads which will usually have attention drawn to them for a reason, in my experience because they are generally the most controversial and likely to invite debate/conversation.

There are literally hundreds of threads every day, some are quieter and more positive than others.

Merename · 23/02/2020 20:49

Sometimes I agree with you - the harshness of what is said at times can be astonishing. But a lot of the time I see lively debate, and touching support between folk who have never met.

donquixotedelamancha · 23/02/2020 20:50

So AIBU is ok for attacking? It’s a free for all?

Thing is, MN is quite heavily policed. If someone is actually abusive you can report and get it removed easily. There is much less actual abuse than many websites.

The attacks have to be about the subject (or some subject, derails are common). In other words, it's a debate. Many comments may not be nice, but it isn't personal.

MN are pretty good on judging the tone for the context. You won't get away with that rudeness on the adoption or mental health forum.

theThreeofWeevils · 23/02/2020 20:50

some of you are awful

But do you like us?

Reading the dreadful, nasty, unkind, etc stuff for six months suggests you probably have quite the taste for it, after all Confused

MarthasGinYard · 23/02/2020 20:51

Oooo you ARE awful....

But I like you Wink

HPunlimited234 · 23/02/2020 20:52

It’s almost like the anonymity in here is a licence for being a massive nasty twat to strangers on the internet (a lot who are vulnerable new mums) and that is pretty scary.

100% guarantee at a Mumsnet meet up everyone would be sweetness and light.

In here though, that’s where true colours shine though.

A lot of sad, empty and ‘what the fuck have I done marrying this loser and having kids with him that drive me crazy on the daily’ people who see this area of the forum as their chance to let off their own personal frustrations at their own bad life choices.

I read for the entertainment. I’ve been here for 15 years.

I had to reregister to reply to this because it’s exactly what I’ve been thinking.

Yeah of course we read it.

And we don’t have to.

Does that make it ok to be an absolute cunt to people on the daily?

Seems so 🤷‍♀️

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 23/02/2020 20:52

The parenting section is supportive to parents. The infant feeding, sleep, pregnancy, pregnancy choices, and bereavement sections are endlessly helpful, kind, patient and informative.

The housekeeping, telly addicts, what we’re reading, and christmas sections are full of interesting lively discussion about the huge variety of things that float people’s boats and is a place where like-minded oddballs can find each other and chat about mutual interests.

AIBU? That’s a bunfight, for parents, childfree, men and women equally. Fun when you’re in the mood, ignorable when you’re not. It doesn’t have to be “supportive”, that’s not what it’s for.

Fuckmesideways · 23/02/2020 20:52

I’m sure cbeebies has a naice forum for you dear.....

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 23/02/2020 20:53

What sort of response were you expecting? Are we all supposed to meditate on your wisdom and repent of our evil ways?

I think you might be disappointed if that's what you are hoping for.