To ask What is the wildest rumour you have heard about yourself?

[FunkyTime]

I heard a rumor that I kissed another girl at a school disco in primary school

That I broke my leg and ran away with one of the fairground boys when I was 17.

My next door neighbour told me that our neighbour over the road told her that I'd said I wished my disabled daughter had died at birth. I never said any such thing. My next door neighbour knew I wouldn't have said any such thing. That's why she told me, so that I could tell the over the road neighbour to stop telling people I said that. Over the road neighbour was extremely religious. Not a very nice person though. She said she must have misunderstood. It was weird.

Weirdest one for me was that I was transgender. It was by a political opponent. I'm not and didn't even bother to refute the rumour.

That I caught one of Jarvis Cockers shoes at a Pulp gig and took it home with me. I was there but he didn’t throw his shoes anywhere so that was very random.

A disgruntled ex told people after I dumped him that my younger brother (12 year age difference) was my son!

My mum told me that my cousin was telling everyone that I was in love with some guy I met only once at a relative's wedding and that I wanted to marry him but he rejected me.

That was genuinely weird because, to this day, I remember having a brief chat with that guy at the wedding and never seeing him again in my life!

That I kissed a man at my hen party. I didn’t. The person who claims I did was very insistent and also told my DH, despite lots of other people who were there telling her she was wrong.

At university someone went around telling my friends that I begged strangers to have anal sex with me. Weirdly people believed it, too.

That I was talked down from jumping off a local tower block.

That I stole a bottle of vodka from my local supermarket. It turned out to be a girl who lives in the same town with the same surname and almost exactly the same first name that begins with a different letter. I was mortified when someone asked me about it!! Lol

18 at the time had just broke up with weird ex and he told everyone I said I was pregnant and then had an abortion.. . His parents were on my doorstep about it and everything.

None of it was true but his weird little friends believed him!

That I was a foreign princess

Far less glamorous truth was that I had a life threatening illness as a child, so was never unaccompanied around school. The rumour was that my welfare assistant was actually an under cover bodyguard... I did nothing to dispel the rumour.

That I was a sex worker. My charming ex started that one

That I’d had my eldest child adopted.

I was at a party and pregnant with my second child, the woman who saw me knew I’d had a child previously, but didn’t seem to understand that babies grow up. My first child was by then 8 and was spending the weekend at his grandparents. She seemed to think I should have had a one year old with me.
I so wish I’d said something to her when I overheard her!

My stepsisters husband was banging on my door the day after my mum's funeral (I was 19) at 7am screaming at me for saying his wife and dog were ugly!

I hadn't said that, and the dog was lovely anyway.

That I was having an affair and that was the reason why XH and I split.
It was the OW's mother that put it about, and it was directly repeated from someone she told, to my DF.
She was supposedly a 'pillar of the church', so to speak. She was great pals with my XMIL until they fell out over a man that they both thought they were in a relationship with.
Suffice to say, I held my tongue, but was ready to let the church warden know (who I personally knew), if she did it again.
I suppose that she was operating under the impression that is she threw some mud, some of it would stick.

My vindictive mother told our neighbours I was a troubled drug addict. On a rare visit home, she sent me next door to borrow a cup of sugar. The previously friendly neighbours were very cold towards me and desperate to get me out of their house asap. My sister told me why later.

That I had a wank in the toilets at work. I hadn't. That rumour lasted years.

My sister told my parents i was a drug addict!!
She told them I showed up to her bridesmaid dress fitting 'on drugs'.... I was hungover
She said a guy I hung around with was a heroin addict too, as he had bad teeth.

When I told my parents the truth, she uninvited me to her wedding
Whole other thread there.

A late baby unexpectedly, the village gossip was that it was the result of an affair with another man. OH thought that one funny.

That I was interested in one of the dads in my child school. I am not remotely interested at all - -0% ..... just because I speak to the dads - some people (mums) assume I must be after them!?! Bizarre.

That I had sex on the landing of someone's house party when I was 17

I didn't, it was just some vigorous snogging

When my baby was very young, I lived with a woman who told my ex (the baby's father) that I had been bringing an unspecified number of men round the flat to have sex with them. She said that she had been stood outside my bedroom door listening to me having sex and that I had to move out immediately because she didn't want me doing this in her flat.

I had not had any men round to the flat, for sex or otherwise. It was actually a really sinister thing to happen and I'm still a bit stunned about it to be honest.

That I pole danced for my boyfriend on a regular basis 🤔 it's not really wild per say but I have no idea where it originated from.

I was having an affair with my manager and a manager in another team. I'm not sure where I would have found the time or the energy TBH.

me and my ex broke up because he went to hit me after a night out.

i left him and then moved away for work, to london. i didnt tell anyone why, just that we had broken up. we shared a friendship group that we had both been equal friends with since school. im a private person about things like that and would never badmouth anyone. while there my friends back home were a bit frosty with me. lost touch with some of them and assumed it was just anger that I had moved away.

Years later one told me it was because he told everyone I was pregnant with his child and asked him for 4k to pay for an abortion. He paid it to me and I rode off into the sunset. they obviously pointed out abortions were free on the NHS and he was even more hard done by then, as not only had i killed his first child but i also had swindled him out of money.

So there was me, living it up in london on his 4k, and he doubted i had ever been pregnant to begin with.