To ask What is the wildest rumour you have heard about yourself?

[FunkyTime]

I heard a rumor that I kissed another girl at a school disco in primary school

I was informed that I was Catholic (I'm not) as I'd been to church occasionally with an ex who was Catholic. It's a minor thing really but when I laughed at the assertion, I was asked if I was sure. Yes, I think that I would have noticed that I was the only Catholic in a CofE family!

That I was a druggie.
For factual reference, I had a couple of hypos at work ( I’ve been a type 1 diabetic since age 11) and word went round that I must be on illicit drugs after once surviving a shaky, sweaty and trembling episode.
I didn’t dispel the rumour as “who was I to stop aiding Workplace Social bonding”

One of the funny ones : That I was a full on lesbian. I married late.

According to my Mum and sister, I have “brain damage”. This is because, years ago, I had a CT scan of my head which showed possible slight changes in one spot. Neuropsychological testing revealed that I have a very slight visual processing delay. In actual fact, since we are all individuals, everyone’s brains have strengths and weaknesses.
Anyway, according to my sister, who has done some educational psychology units in her masters degree, I have alcoholic dementia of some kind. Absolutely no symptoms of any such thing nor reason why it would be the case. But hey, I’m just a nurse with a post graduate qualification. What do I and a neurologist and neuropsychologist know compared to a teacher? I am recently landed a job assisting a vascular surgeon in theatre. He doesn’t seem to think I have any kind of alcoholic dementia. He actually recruited me because he stumbled across my resume.

That I was born in a taxi in Berlin

I was hit by a bus on the way to sit my A levels. It was actually a Vauxhall Nova going at about 15 mph luckily!

I used to work for a bank as a cashier, there was a rumour that I used to take change out of my till to use as my bus fare. One of the middle managers reported me to my boss saying she had heard me on the bus boasting about it. My boss then spoke to me, obviously I was pretty shocked and worried, especially as I would never be so dishonest and never used the bus. In fact DH and I used to drive into town andback together everyday.

I just realised recently that exMIL is spreading the rumour that I left exH - wonder how she explains that the kids and I are still in the family home. And like how she carefully omits that he had an 18 month affair with a colleague before he left the marriage (if he hadn’t have left I’d have pushed him out!)

One that we were moving house - neighbour asked me direct due to village rumours (we weren’t) and another that I was going to leave my job! Fortunately that one didn’t reach my boss 😮.

When I first met my op (we met at work) there was a rumour that we had split up and I was pregnant, planning an abortion. Never happened. Incredibly weird start to the day having people ask if I was OK and would I be going to the clinic alone

At my last work place I was having an affair with my married female boss in an attempt to be promoted. I’m a gay man.

I look like a semi famous person, we had a shared friendship group until a few years ago. There was an instagram group (now deleted) dedicated to said semi famous person as they believed he had gone into hiding and was pretending to be non-famous. So on the odd occasion that ‘dedicated’ fans of this person saw me out and about they would shout his name at me and usually follow it up with shouting that they knew who I really was. It even led to a photo of me rather than him being used in a very small press release in the states! So I essentially had my own little stalkers, creepy.

That I was anorexic. It had been going around for months before I found out. I was literally speechless.
It was started by a so-called friend - one of those people who are always on a diet they never stick to - apparently after I declined biscuits at her house. (Probably horrible custard creams.).
According to her, anyone who was slim and declined biscuits just had to be anorexic.

When I was 14 I broke up with my then boyfriend and had a doctors appointment the same day, apparently girls from my school saw me go in and assumed I was pregnant. Spread it around the whole school apparently, although I only found out a few years ago so it was a shock to me that none of my 'friends' had either told me or set the record straight

That I was pregnant at 12 and gave the baby up for adoption. I still liked barbies at that age let alone having babies! Got to love school girl dramas.

That Im a lesbian. That one led to me being gay bashed.

That I was the one who had made up a horrible nickname about someone at uni. She was dating my ex but there was zero ill feeling about that. Funnily enough it was the same group who spread thst rumour as actually made up the nickname in the first place.

Previously worked in a care home, was in a bathroom assisting a resident to bathe with another member of staff. Door was locked as it was a dementia unit and so other residents would have opened the door if wasn’t! A different member of staff told everyone she thought me and male staff had been shagging in the bathroom .
I found it quite amusing to start with until I realised people believed her!! Worst thing was that I was pregnant with dc1 at the time!!
Management had to hold a team meeting and warn people about nasty rumours!

Well my paternal grandfather (King Dickhead of that side of the family) told anyone that would listen that I was in a 'gang' and threatened him. I do not talk to him or his immediate family anymore (bar my Dad.)

That I was pregnant, aged 47.
That was because of adaptations my workplace made for my disability.
That I was having an affair with my own husband - nearly 30nyears ago , had just moved in together, a colleague of DH and his partner were in the same restaurant as us, said a polite hello , thought nothing more of it. Next day I got a call from the partner to break the news that dh had been seen out with his fancy woman - and she then described me. She had form for shit stirring

That I had joined a cult in America!

That I had been aggressive and racially abused some people whilst returning very drunk from a night out - this one reached my boss and there was even a "witness" from someone else that knew my boss that could confirm it was me. Could have had really serious consequences for me.

Luckily I could prove easily exactly where I had been (and sober) as I was on duty at the time so not allowed to drink alcohol and not able to go out and had been called out to boot so had been with others who could obviously state that that was the case. The witness conceded that she had seen someone female walking down the road at around the time all this had happened and assumed it was me as it was the direction I would need to take home - as would many other females!!!

My boss had said he was astounded when it was reported to him as it really didn't sound like something I would do at all. I was pretty hurt that people would even think I'd do that but understood process needed to be followed. Angry at the "witness" giving my name so readily and initially saying it was definitely me though understanding that the knock on effects for me could have been career - ending.

Social services rang me to ask about claims that I was a drug using prostitute. Cheers ex.

That we had 7 children. At the time we had none!

I did work experience at a car place, and a rumour went some that a car had fell on me and crushed me. My MySpace page was flooded with condolences.

In my 20s, I heard gossip that a good male friend was actually my half brother We have some very slight similarities but not enough to give any kind of substance to that idea!

Mines not wild, but whenever a manager job comes up at work someone always ends up saying ive applied, when in 10 years there ive never applied for a managers position as i dont want to be one!