To ask What is the wildest rumour you have heard about yourself?

[FunkyTime]

I heard a rumor that I kissed another girl at a school disco in primary school

I think I gave someone HIV back in the 90s.

@eldiablo - my friend had a fibroid cyst removed (in Aus) and was billed for the delivery of twins. She rang to query the bill, and was told that she had definitely delivered twins, so she said that she hoped someone was looking after them!

Some idiot I used to work with told everyone I slept with him, not long after I joined, and I only found out months later. The little weasel.

we had a lad at work who loved to gossip so we set one up one of the other girls told him and only him that my partner and I are swingers (we are not) and it was round the whole workforce in about 24 hours lol

I worked for a man whom we labelled ‘Walter Mitty’. He would come up with stories and - I think, the more he retold them, the more he actually believed them. He had a habit of cornering his customers and just talking at them for an embarrassing length of time (we often had to interrupt his flow so the poor victim could escape). Some years after I’d left his employ, I was told by someone I had just met socially, that ‘Walter’ had let it be known that he had slept with all the women who had ever worked for him! God knows how many people he told. I can safely vouch that NONE of the women who worked for him would touch him with a barge pole. Vom

That I'd had an affair and left my exH heartbroken. Id had to move back to my old small town after our divorce and had struck up a relationship with someone new, the gossips didn't like this one bit so started telling people how awful I was and how they knew exH well and felt sorry for him. One of my friends overheard this one day and played along - along the lines of 'yeah, poor Dave, he's always drowning his sorrows in nowadays, really hope he gets over it'. He let them carry on for a while embellishing the story before pointing out exH name was not Dave and he lived over 3 hours away, having probably only visited small town about 3 times in 7 years.

Arsehole ex-friend who I wouldn't sleep with told all our mutual male friends I was bisexual (true) and trying to steal their girlfriends (not true).
Worked out quite well as all five of them told him to fuck off, two pointed out they'd split with said girlfriends anyway, and I got together with one of them.

Also had a rumour that I was transsexual, which turned out some acquaintances believed for years. I do not and have never had a penis.

Some arsehole rugby player I never even spoke to in my halls at university told people I had sexual relations with the industrial sized Henry Hoover used by the cleaners each morning.

I left home at 16 to move in with my boyfriend, and moved 100 miles away, all pre phones. I was quite straight laced (the all As O Levels girl) so the obvious rumour went round that I was pregnant and my parents had disowned me. Quite predictable and dull, really!

I died in the tsunami.

I was in Mauritius when it happened. Rumour was I was in the Maldives and had been caught in it

When I was about 21 a rumour got spread around work when I had 2 weeks off that I was alcoholic and had to go into hospital to get my stomach pumped, I’d been stealing drugs from the local pharmacy and I was pregnant and had an abortion. I was actually off because I had a ruptured appendix but 10/10 for originality 😂

That I was having an affair with a younger man. The man in question was my new personal trainer and we were having a coffee in Starbucks to plan my training. I was even filling in forms at the time .
The funny thing was that my husband was outside waiting to take me home.

This occurred when I was a teenager
Apparently I had dated an older man for his money and dumped him when he went broke. Then apparently he went mad because he was heartbroken that I had left him. The irony was that I had never had a boyfriend at that stage. In fact , I had my first boyfriend at 23 , who is now my dh.

This will be terribly outing for me if any of my friends are on MN but there was a totally unfounded rumour, at the school I once taught at, that I was an award winning bagpipe player!

That I shagged a team.

*tramp!!!

That I was an expert skiier with a second home in the French Alps

That I was a stripper. I was a single parent and the rumour was started by my 6 year old son, when I was renovating our old house (in his defence, he had no idea what he’d implied) . I worked at a ladies gym and my work polo shirt had the name Bodysculpture on it. His football coaches believed him and one asked whether I needed financial help! .

Not particularly wild as it was almost accurate but the only rumour I remember hearing was that a couple of older girls at secondary school decided that I had been sexually abused by my dad. They kept seeing me talk to a particular teacher and for some reason decided this was why.

It was actually my uncle, I was talking to the teacher a lot (she was the one I’d told) showing my poems dealing with it and stuff.

I have no idea how they got the idea so near to begin with though!

A former neighbour started a rumour that I had died because she hadn't seen me in ages - I was on holiday with DH, Ds and dd for a fortnight - she apparently hadn't noticed their disappearance

That I was pregnant and had an abortion at 15
That I masturbated in the changing room

I had an awful time at school 😩

I have two:
Shortly after my brother died suddenly (at 19) my husband was sat in a bar and overheard a student on my university course telling someone I'd been sectioned after having a breakdown. She was mortified when he went over and told her I was taking time out because of his death.

A few months later I was in hospital with pneumonia. DM went to drop my son at school but went in to see his teacher to tell her I was ill in hospital but was on the mend. Before she had chance to say what was wrong the teacher said another parent had told her I was in hospital seriously ill with cancer! My mum thought I'd lied to her to protect her after losing my brother only months before. It was pre mobile phones so it was a while before she got the truth. I can't imagine what sort of mind makes this shit up.

That I was 11 when I had my first child (I was 18).
That I ran away and hitched 400 miles away because I was a drug dealer. I did run away (was 13) but was definitely not dealing drugs.
I was banned from the church playgroup because my neighbour had told the vicars wife (her good friend) that I phoned the police on her for playing the flute .

That I was sleeping with my married (and rather old) boss.

I was single and 28 so obviously desperate for the attention of a short man who was late 50s and married with children.

When I found out I didn't know whether to laugh or be annoyed

That my first child was not my husbands but we didn't like to mention it as DH was very much a father to DS1. In fact, DS1's Dad was Steve Backshall and he kept in touch with DS1.

This was told by the 5 year old friend of DS1 to his Mum. She believed him until he got to the Steve Backshall part.. Quite an imagination for a 5 year old!!