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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BF told DH about pregnancy before I did

220 replies

Namechange112349033939838319 · 08/02/2020 19:16

NC for this as it’s incredibly outing.

My bestie was with me at the time I took my test for moral support as DH was away with work, and I wanted to tell him in person. Ideally I would have waited until he was back, but I wanted to surprise him with the news!

Obviously the test was positive (yay Smile ) and I was planning to tell my DH the night he came back over a nice dinner!

My bestie came round the same day (she knew what my plan was) to pick up some stuff for her house, and was still here when DH walked in. She immediately walked over to DH and started congratulating him on our pregnancy knowing full well he didn’t know ! Angry

AIBU to be annoyed Sad? I was really looking forward to telling DH after a nice dinner together and seeing the look on his face & she stole that from me!

OP posts:
ClubfootMaestro · 08/02/2020 19:17

Oh God that’s awful - are you sure she knew he didn’t know? Could she have been mistaken and forgotten? If it was deliberate then what a bitch.

HeckyPeck · 08/02/2020 19:17

That was bloody spiteful of her. She doesn’t sound much of a friend.

Bluntness100 · 08/02/2020 19:18

Yeah that's shit. That's not your friend op
Whatever you might think, she's not your friend,

HillAreas · 08/02/2020 19:19

At best she’s thoughtless, at worst she’s a bitch. Only you know which it is.

CustardySergeant · 08/02/2020 19:19

Some 'best friend' she is! What did you say to her after she did that?

WorraLiberty · 08/02/2020 19:20

What did your 'bestie' say about it afterwards?

Frenchw1fe · 08/02/2020 19:20

She's not a friend. That is such an outrageous thing to do.
I would dump her fast.

ZooeyS · 08/02/2020 19:21

You honestly need to ask? Hmm

BarbedBloom · 08/02/2020 19:21

She wouldn't be my friend anymore

Travis1 · 08/02/2020 19:22

That would not be a friend any more

FridgeOffal · 08/02/2020 19:22

What did she say - you must have pulled her up on it?! Are you 100% certain she knew he didn't know yet?!

FridgeOffal · 08/02/2020 19:29

I was staying with my bestie when she found out she was pregnant - I told her to do the test! I was bursting to talk about it but stayed out of the house for aaaagggeesss the next day (her hubby had been away and came back lunch time) to give her space to tell him and celebrate. I eventually text her to see if she'd told him and I could come back and it turns out she'd text him while she was still in the bathroom test in hand Grin

SeigneurLapindeGrantham · 08/02/2020 19:29

Well that's pure malice to be sure, I suggest you ditch her asap.

Original poster
Namechange112349033939838319 · 08/02/2020 19:31

I didn’t know what to say so just celebrated with them both Sad once she left I apologised to DH who was too over the moon to care, bless him Smile

I feel conflicted as I’d like to think she didn’t do it on purpose as we’ve been best friends since uni Sad but she definitely knew DH hadn’t been told yet as she was discussing the plan with me before he walked in !

Not sure whether to text her about it or leave it ...

OP posts:
OhWellThatsJustGreat · 08/02/2020 19:31

I so hope she forgot that you were planning to tell him over dinner?

Did he say anything to her about not knowing? How did she react?

Janaih · 08/02/2020 19:31

Did you call her out on it? What was her "excuse"?

I think you need to bin her.
Congratulations on your pregnancy Flowers

WorraLiberty · 08/02/2020 19:33

Not sure whether to text her about it or leave it...

That's such an odd response

And yet you say you're best friends?

Why would you leave it?

Lollypop701 · 08/02/2020 19:33

Truly awful behaviour... you need to speak to her

CareBear50 · 08/02/2020 19:34

OP normally I am conflict avoidant

But on this occasion I would definitely need to speak to her about this and ask her why she told my DH.

I would be furious. But would wait to hear what she has to say

SirGawain · 08/02/2020 19:35

I think you need to bin her.
Congratulations on your pregnancy

^^^This

CallmeAngelina · 08/02/2020 19:35

I would NOT be able to come back from that. I can think of no reason on this earth why she would think this was OK.

Dump her!

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 08/02/2020 19:37

Is it really worth losing a friendship over?

You could have just waited and tested with DH but instead chose to do it with her so that she knew before him. As a partner I’d be more upset at that rather than the person telling me.

Willow4987 · 08/02/2020 19:37

I’m also a conflict avoider but this is something I would need to discuss with her. She clearly knew that he hadn’t been told, so i don’t believe she can claim to have ‘forgotten’ or slipped up

You need to know what the ‘excuse’ will be

SqueakyBinders · 08/02/2020 19:38

I think you need to ask her WTF happened to make her think she could tell him?

shinyredbus · 08/02/2020 19:38

Yuck! What a cow. Bin her.