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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BF told DH about pregnancy before I did

220 replies

Namechange112349033939838319 · 08/02/2020 19:16

NC for this as it’s incredibly outing.

My bestie was with me at the time I took my test for moral support as DH was away with work, and I wanted to tell him in person. Ideally I would have waited until he was back, but I wanted to surprise him with the news!

Obviously the test was positive (yay Smile ) and I was planning to tell my DH the night he came back over a nice dinner!

My bestie came round the same day (she knew what my plan was) to pick up some stuff for her house, and was still here when DH walked in. She immediately walked over to DH and started congratulating him on our pregnancy knowing full well he didn’t know ! Angry

AIBU to be annoyed Sad? I was really looking forward to telling DH after a nice dinner together and seeing the look on his face & she stole that from me!

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 08/02/2020 20:33

Half of me thinks she's not a very good friend.

The other half of me thinks 'I am the sort of person who could accidentally do that and I'm not horrible.'

Figgygal · 08/02/2020 20:34

Ooh I couldn’t leave that to lie
That’s outrageous behaviour

rumandbiscuits · 08/02/2020 20:34

You should reply to her and say 'it's not your news to tell and I have been so much more excited than you to tell him and you have taken that away from me. It isn't ok what you have done and I need time to think about how I want our friendship to be moving forward.'

mauvaisereputation · 08/02/2020 20:35

You need to talk to her. I honestly think the more likely explanation is that she got the wrong end of the stick and thought you had told her. IMO it's more likely than your best mate randomly deciding to do something awful to you, right in front of you!

CalmdownJanet · 08/02/2020 20:35

Oh seriously? Fuck her off out of it!!

What a spiteful bitch. Really why was she in the house in the first place? I'd bet a tenner she totally created a reason to "happen to be there", bitch!

Iamacrapmom · 08/02/2020 20:37

Maybe she just done it by accident like it just came out because she was so happy for you and just got caught up in the moment ? does she have any children?

rumandbiscuits · 08/02/2020 20:37

I'm really angry for you. The amount of times I've been in a situation where I've been desperate to tell people other people's pregnancy news but kept it shut because I know that they want to be the one to tell that person and quite rightly so! Everybody has the strength in them to not say anything no mater how excited they are.

Drabarni · 08/02/2020 20:38

There is absolutely no excuse, she would no longer be a friend if it was me.
Even if she forgot your plan, you just wouldn't do that.
She knew what she was doing and it was intentional, she's probably a jealous bitch.

Casscass1986 · 08/02/2020 20:39

Totally unforgivable. When your DH arrived home she should have made her excuses and left. Saying she got "over excited" is not an acceptable excuse

Is there any chance she is a tiny bit jealous and in some way wanted to be involved?

I couldn't leave it alone, I would have to call her on it and then take some time to decide on your friendship. If she couldn't keep this news secret how can you ever trust her. Anything you tell her in future you need to be sure you don't mind others knowing as she has proved she can't keep a secret!

Marriedwithchildren5 · 08/02/2020 20:40

The other half of me thinks 'I am the sort of person who could accidentally do that and I'm not horrible.'

You are. Who does this??? Either you are really thick or your friends dont like you.

There is a reason behind this. I'd be telling my friend she'd ruined the best part of being pregnant up to the first scan. Just incase, dont let her come to that!

TheOrangeFox · 08/02/2020 20:40

Text her. What a bitch.

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/02/2020 20:43

I think once your an adult being too excited and blurting things out is off the menu.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/02/2020 20:43

Cull her arse.Nasty cow,shes not a friend.

SnoozyLou · 08/02/2020 20:43

I wouldn't have involved her before him, but that was very spiteful of her.

HuggedTheRedwoods · 08/02/2020 20:43

She's done this on purpose love, sounds too contrived she happened to be there when he was due home (any normal pal wouldn't be hanging round when you had a special time planned).

SnoozyLou · 08/02/2020 20:44

I wouldn't have that conversation by text either.

SlippersAndThePaper · 08/02/2020 20:45

She’ll be announcing the birth on fb for you too, just wait and see.

Alsohuman · 08/02/2020 20:46

I think you’re being unreasonable for telling her first.

Didntwanttochangemyname · 08/02/2020 20:49

She's a dick, please don't continue your friendship.

ElBurro · 08/02/2020 20:51

Did she say to him congratulations on your pregnancy or just blurt out a random congratulations, but not say what for?

It’s really poor form of her either way, but if the latter than I would be more inclined to think it was just blurted out in excitement and that she didn’t mean to steal your thunder.

Congratulations anyway though!

Willow4987 · 08/02/2020 20:51

Wow...she got excited....did she even apologise?

BrendasUmbrella · 08/02/2020 20:52

She stole what would have become a special memory between you and your DH, in full knowledge that he didn't know yet. I would have no qualms about ending the friendship.

CatsCatsCats11 · 08/02/2020 20:53

I'd be telling her exactly how I felt.

SnoozyLou · 08/02/2020 20:53

She’ll be announcing the birth on fb for you too, just wait and see.

Sounds like the bridesmaid who went with the bride to a dress fitting and posted photos on facebook. Nobody is that stupid. You can be excited, doesn't mean you should deliberately spoil someone's moment.

She sounds like a complete shit OP.

Hepsibar · 08/02/2020 20:55

OMG how awful of her. What did you say to her? And how did she respond. Heart goes out to you and DH.

I think that would be the end of the friendship if it was me unless she has some sort of mental condition that means she blurts out things otherwise I could never forgive her.