Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BF told DH about pregnancy before I did

220 replies

Namechange112349033939838319 · 08/02/2020 19:16

NC for this as it’s incredibly outing.

My bestie was with me at the time I took my test for moral support as DH was away with work, and I wanted to tell him in person. Ideally I would have waited until he was back, but I wanted to surprise him with the news!

Obviously the test was positive (yay Smile ) and I was planning to tell my DH the night he came back over a nice dinner!

My bestie came round the same day (she knew what my plan was) to pick up some stuff for her house, and was still here when DH walked in. She immediately walked over to DH and started congratulating him on our pregnancy knowing full well he didn’t know ! Angry

AIBU to be annoyed Sad? I was really looking forward to telling DH after a nice dinner together and seeing the look on his face & she stole that from me!

OP posts:
LucaFritz · 08/02/2020 19:38

I read that title as Boyfriend instead of best friend 😂

Choux · 08/02/2020 19:40

You have to mention it. Otherwise you are letting her walk all over you and giving her permission to act out of turn again in the future.

It doesn't have to be confrontational if that isn't your style. You could text her 'DH still thrilled about the pregnancy. But why did you tell him before I had a chance to? I told you my plan to tell him when it was just the two of us and the plan was then spoilt by you bringing it up as soon as he walked in. You should have let me tell him.'

If she tries to justify telling him then she is not a real friend. Sorry is the only thing she should be saying.

Congrats btw!

strawberry2017 · 08/02/2020 19:40

What a bitch! I'd want to know why she did it,
I also wouldn't trust her ever again!

TomeOfSomething · 08/02/2020 19:40

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone so spiteful at worst or thoughtless at best

Longwhiskers14 · 08/02/2020 19:41

I'd be so fucked off with my BF doing that – it was deliberate and spiteful. You should text her and ask her why she felt it was okay to hijack what should've been a really amazing moment for you and your DH?

ShinyMe · 08/02/2020 19:43

It wasn't a silly misunderstanding about the meaning of 'dinner' was it? Could she have thought you'd told him at midday?

Sally872 · 08/02/2020 19:44

Yanbu. Bf is out of order. Why would she do that?

FizzyGreenWater · 08/02/2020 19:44

If this is true, and that's exactly how it happened - that she definitely knew he didn't know - that would be the end of the friendship.

That's not a friend, that's the worst fucking frenemy you could have.

I'd NEVER be able to forgive that.

PanamaPattie · 08/02/2020 19:45

What a nasty thing to do. I expect she is just jealous of you and your life OP. Cut her out.

FizzyGreenWater · 08/02/2020 19:45

You need to text her.

A simple:

Why did you do that?

would suffice. Just ask the question.

Then respond based on what she says.

Lipz · 08/02/2020 19:46

Absolute cow !!!! I'd be livid !!! Why would she do this ? I'd have to say something to her. That's going to be your dhs memory of finding out you're pregnant. Everyone remembers where they were what they doing, how they told the partner, how they celebrated etc and your dh is going to remember by your mate running up to him as he just came in the door congratulating him. She ruined a special moment for you both.

Russellbrandshair · 08/02/2020 19:46

Oh hell no! You MUST mention this to her- if you are upset enough to post here you need to tell her how upset you are! Don’t let her take control of your life like this- she’s a bitch

CakeandCustard28 · 08/02/2020 19:47

No excuse for that, how could you forget something like that? She’s not your friend.

Clangus00 · 08/02/2020 19:47

Bitch!
That would be the end of that friendship.

icansmellburningleaves · 08/02/2020 19:47

That was naughty of her.

willowmelangell · 08/02/2020 19:48

First. Congratulations!

Second. "Dear ExBF, there are two people in this marriage, not three."

JacquesHammer · 08/02/2020 19:48

If she’s a best friend, simply ask her what went on.

nestisflown · 08/02/2020 19:48

That's no accident. You would have to be incredibly dense to do that on accident the very same day you took the test with her. Call her out on it then dump her. You don't need friends like that.

bubs4068 · 08/02/2020 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rainbowx · 08/02/2020 19:50

Congratulations OP
Wow no way was it done by accident she needs to be spoken too immediately then enjoy your moment

Drum2018 · 08/02/2020 19:52

Spiteful bitch. I wouldn't let it go. Just text and ask what the hell she was thinking of telling your Dh that you were pregnant, when she knew full well that you had planned to do it over dinner. And don't tell her anything else again.

TripleSeptic · 08/02/2020 19:52

100% "why did you do that?" and let her dig her own grave. Unless she apologies profusely, I'd distance myself a lot

Kn0ckOnTheDoor · 08/02/2020 19:52

have you asked her why she did it?

MargotsBumpyNight · 08/02/2020 19:52

That's outrageous! What a cow!

Hanab · 08/02/2020 19:52

Biatch had to steal the thunder 🙈🤷🏻‍♀️ Confront her and tell her your feelings .. I personally would not let it go! Its an important announcement& special moment & in my opinion and she spoilt it BIG time!