DH wants us to go on holiday to somewhere I don't

[Realitea]

DH has said he's tired of me choosing where we go on holiday. In the past he's just said he's happy to go wherever so I spend ages researching places and booking somewhere I think everyone will like.

He said this morning he wants us to try something different and go somewhere else. No beach, not much there from what I can see and it's near Afghanistan. I really don't think this is the ideal place for a family holiday at all. I know he's adventurous but this is madness.

He's now in a huff because I immediately said no. He said we won't go anywhere in that case which I thought was a bit of an over reaction. I don't know what's got into him recently. AIBU to say no straight away to this?

Is it a resort?

Have you actually researched the area he wants to visit or just flat out said no?

Surely there is a compromise to be had?

Where does he want to go ?

Who makes up your family unit ?

What were the last 2 family hols you chose ?

Might be helpful if you told us where it actually is.

So you spend ages researching holidays except when your DH suggests something and then it’s a flat no?

I’d do my own research and be open to the possibility of going outside my comfort zone if it’s somewhere he feels will work for the family.

I would need to know where it was before I could give an opinion really. Near Afghanistan is very vague.

Could you say where it is

So many people put votes on here with half the information missing.
How are we supposed to make a decision when you have left the biggest detail out, where is it that he wants to go?

Depends where it is really.

Near Afghanistan? Tell us where!

Tell us which country OP - then we can decide if you're unreasonable or not

Is it Uzbekistan? It’s been in a few travel programmes lately and I think it looks beautiful. I would research safety - Foreign Office say most trips are Without incident but border areas are more risky. Where and what type of travel and accommodation would be the deciders.

Well Afghanistan borders Iran which would be a no but also China which is at least an understandable place to want to visit.

So what’s the country?!

Cardibach - you've guessed correctly!
We have dd who's 10.
I initially said no but then said i'd research it and speak to people who have been there
they've all said it's fantastic.
Usually since having our dd we've done resorts in more usual places like spain, portugal etc.

I don't know what's got into him recently.

Mid life crisis? Some men take up running/cycling/triathlons, some have an affair, some buy a sports car and others want to recapture their adventurous youth via travel. I'd let him calm down and then sit down together and find out what it is about this destination that appeals to him and see if you can find a more family friendly alternative that you can agree to. My DH and I have these kind of arguments sometimes about holiday destinations and they're usually nothing that can't be solved with a bit of compromise. Maybe he just feels that what you've got into a rut of doing is a bit boring? Perhaps take a look at adventure trips with Explore, Families Worldwide, KE Adventure, etc and see if those sorts of trips appeal?

I've just googled the countries around Afghanistan as my geography not up to scratch. I wouldn't be taking my family to any of them. Where do you usually go? Is it a huge departure for the norm?

How long has he been going along with your holiday arrangements? Sounds like he's fed up of beach type holidays and wants something different. If you don't like it suggest an alternative similar holiday or suggest he goes on his own. Got children? Perhaps they might enjoy a different type of holiday.

‘Near Afghanistan’ . I am desperate to hear what country this actually is.

Or my English. Geography's 🙂

How near is near? Eg there's only one country between Afghanistan and Turkey / Dubai...

Looking at the region, there are some places I'd visit and some I definitely wouldn't. Somewhere like Nepal for example, I'd be on the next plane!

If it's Pakistan, go: it's set to become incredibly expensive in future, as it's one of the few "undiscovered" (ie not touristed out through over-exposure on Instagram) gems still remaining, has eased procedures for tourists a lot and is still relatively affordable. It won't stay that way once the hordes discover it, and it keeps making "must see" lists in the papers etc so you've only got a small window to go.

If it's Iran, now is probably not the right time.

Uzbekistan is great. Turkmenistan is interesting. Tajikistan I don't like that much, in all honesty, though I do speak Tajik.

India? China is probably a "not right now" too.

But it really depends on where near Afghanistan (which is also great to visit, especially the North).

near Afghanistan

do you want to say where it is? Is it a safe place or one which the foreign office advises visiting against?

Tbh, I'd rather go to a safe place near Afghanistan rather than sitting at a beach.

if you picked hols in the past, what is the issue with your DH choosing this time?

on balance, yabu!

How old is Dd? Is she old enough to enjoy a different type of holiday?

But, in principle, I think either person should be able to veto a holiday destination, but only once they have given it proper consideration.

I think you should have a proper conversation about the place, why does he want to go and what he wants to do there? Will it suit all the kids? If you have any specific concerns voice them and see if they can be overcome. But also try to be open minded and think about stepping out of your comfort zone a bit

oh, saw the update. I have friends who went there. loved it. I think it sounds a lot better than a boring bog standard beach holiday.