DH wants us to go on holiday to somewhere I don't

[Realitea]

DH has said he's tired of me choosing where we go on holiday. In the past he's just said he's happy to go wherever so I spend ages researching places and booking somewhere I think everyone will like.

He said this morning he wants us to try something different and go somewhere else. No beach, not much there from what I can see and it's near Afghanistan. I really don't think this is the ideal place for a family holiday at all. I know he's adventurous but this is madness.

He's now in a huff because I immediately said no. He said we won't go anywhere in that case which I thought was a bit of an over reaction. I don't know what's got into him recently. AIBU to say no straight away to this?

I've got a few friends who travelled to Uzbekistan the last couple of years (along with a few of the other 'stans). They've all raved about it - yes it's bit more hard work (or adventure depending on your pov) but you will be rewarded with history, stunning scenery and lovely people.

Why not compromise - choose somewhere that ticks his adventure box that is a little more established. This means no bog-standard beach resort

Sounds far more interesting than Spain/Portugal. I’d go in a heartbeat

I would take the wind RIGHT out of his sails here.

'DH I've researched and it sounds great. Fab that you are taking the lead with the holiday for a change! I'm fine with it, I'll hand over to you now for sorting everything - if you could research places to stay/stuff to do/visas/travel costs/stuff we'll need to pack... just let me know if you need any info from me...'

@Lailaha I'm jealous of your travels, the stans have always intrigued me. And I've heard about parts of Afghanistan being absolutely beautiful. One day! :)

I've made up my mind. I just also spoke to a friend who took their children and said it's absolutely amazing. I told dh as long as there's a pool I'm in!

Near Afghanistan?
Sounds dodgy and dangerous

Ah, cross post!

Uzbekistan is fantastic (though quite heavy with tourists at times) - amazing heritage sites, cheap, efficient public transport, lots of different types of activities (though no beaches), not expensive when you are there, generally efficient enough with internet/electricity/water for western or risk-averse tastes, "exotic" enough to be exciting without any hardship involved...

Granted, it's very different to a resort holiday in southern Europe, but not in a threatening or unmanageable way.

And British passport holders get a visa on arrival, so you don't even need to be organised!

how about carpathian mountains in Romania
brown bears wolves hiking lakes adventure
I guess he is fed up with relaxing /beach resort type holidays in mediterrean coastal places and immediately saying no without even looking into it is a bit off putting just comes across a bit as ends in "--stan" must be terrorist hotbed

a 10 year old would probably love an adventure holiday with some sightseeing dramtic dracula type castles kayaking serious wildlife
A kid doesn't necessarily only like resort holidays with swimming pools and slides and a kids club

Well done OP! Have a great time!

No idea what it's like now, but I was in Uzbekistan in the early 90s just at the time they tried to depose Gorbachev. It was a really interesting place. (We went with the Soviet tourist organisation intourist). We saw the tanks rolling into Moscow on the day we flew out down to that area.

And nice hotels with pools are much more affordable than you might think too (though granted, restricted to a relatively small number, and mainly five star) : you'll have a fabulous time, OP!

YABU to just say no immediately without having a proper look into it. Sounds like he is bored of beach resorts which is fair enough. Maybe he thinks now your DD is 10 it's time to see more of the witkd.
Perhaps come up with some counter proposals which are more adventurous and/or cultural than a resort holiday, but in locations more appealing to you?

*world

God the western mentality here is so narrow minded sometimes

So anywhere ‘near’ Afghanistan is going to dangerous and dodgy. These are living breathing countries not just flash images you see on the BBC.
They have history and heritage and culture and are a part of the world.
If there isn't a civil war going on or the US bombing the shit out of somewhere I think you’re fine

I would love to go to Uzbekistan.

@MaJoady do it! With the stans, the flight's the expensive bit (and the Turkmenistan visa!) - but the scenery is often breathtaking, and if you are a junkie of Islamic architecture (I am) it's like being in heaven whilst still alive! Afghanistan is a bit inaccessible to western tourists right now - there are companies, but it's mega expensive. But one day...

Sounds amazing!

It looks stunning but I couldn't be arsed with a child coming along what about Greece? More history than spanish resort areas but not so rural

Uzbekistan is one of the countries I want to travel to next. It looks fascinating, with stunning architecture and incredible craft traditions.

A pool? I think you need to open your mind a bit OP.

Mid life crisis?

what a stupid comment - yes people do things differently when the kids are a bit older and the family has a bit more money, why does it have to be a midlife crisis immediately?

Not everyone can have the time and finance to do everything they want to do in their 20s and 30s. Some things happen later. Do people have to stick to gardening and watching tv with a beer when they are middle-age?

I'd be a bit wary, OP. The Uzbek government has been liberalising since the first post-Soviet president died a couple of years ago - and by liberalising I mean things like no longer jailing people for taking pictures of the Tashkent metro system, allowing more internet access. I haven't seen any recent reports of the government murdering political opponents by boiling them alive, so hopefully that's stopped too. They are obviously spending a lot of money rebranding themselves. So, for example, there's footage doing the rounds of some American skateborders in the Tashkent metro and at some of the other most photogenic sites - it's very obviously highly staged and only possible because the government has allowed it (for which read: paid for it). But it's still a very, very authoritarian government - more like North Korea than Russia (or more liberal than Turkmenistan but less than Kyrgyzstan, if comparing to other post-Soviet Central Asian states). So there's an ethical question, if that's something that bothers you - do you want to give money to one of the world's most repressive governments? That may not bother you, but if it does then I wouldn't go to Uzbekistan.

I haven't been but I know a lot of people who have (almost all for work reasons, though they also did the tourist stuff too), and they have all found it fascinating. But one of them have gone with children, and I'm not sure that's something I would want to do.

That should have been none of them have gone with children.

On the authoritarianism issue, for context, Freedom House gives the following scores out of 100:
UK: 93
North Korea: 3
Russia: 20
Uzbekistan: 9

If you stick to the main tourist towns you will have a great time and it will be fairly straightforward. I think a 10 year old will have fun wandering around some of the old towns.

If you stray away from this it gets harder.

The good thing about Uzbekistan is when they opened up to tourism they asked for advice on the best way of doing things. This led to the creation of lots of B&Bs that met certain standards as well as tourist offices.

I'd go in a heartbeat. Although my DC are older now, I'd have taken them at your DDs age.

I've had brilliant trips to places like the USSR (even in the 70s) and China which aren't at all liberal but exceedingly great for tourists because they are so beautiful in places, and because of the totalitarian state, generally very very safe. (they want hard currencies, tourists are a good way to get them)

Let your DH do all the arranging and just enjoy the trip!